The Secrets We Keep
by newyork24-7
Summary: We all have secrets but eventually they will eat away at us and when that happens everything we hold dear is at threat, for secrets will always rear their ugly heads. Sorry for the vague summary.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: A couple of things I need to point out for this story. It takes place early/mid season 5 not long after we find out The Frog's dead. Jenny is not ill and Hollis is still hanging around. In this fic no one knows why Jenny was so obsessed with catching him and doesn't know about her dad, in turn although Hiatus happened no one knows about Shannon and Kelly. **

* * *

Jennifer Sheppard stood at the catwalk observing her kingdom, keeping an eye on the events that took place within it. After all she had given everything up for this, so there was no way in hell she was going to let anything happen, not under her watch. Unfortunately watching over her Agents meant watching over him and watching over him meant seeing him with her. She saw them together all the time now and every time she did it was like a knife to her heart, like another small part of her died inside, as though her soul was withering, what was left of it anyway. After all she was well aware of how others saw her, especially after recent events. They saw her as the villain, the cold heartless bitch who would quite happily put her Agents in danger to get a result. The fact that it wasn't true was of little importance, after all people wanted to gossip and painting her this way was oh so much more interesting than the truth, or anything resembling it. Although if she was to be honest she wasn't even sure what the truth was anymore, somewhere along the line she had lost sight of who she was and had instead choosen to hide behind the ice cold façade of Madam Director.

She glanced down into the bullpen once more, watching as Tony mercilessly teased McGee while Ziva watched on. Gibbs for once wasn't paying any attention, instead focusing on the blonde in front of him, smiling at her over the rim of his coffee, pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. Jenny's eyes fluttered closed for a second, trying to reign in her feelings, she couldn't watch this anymore, she closed over the case file she had been pretending to read and headed back to the sanctuary of her office.

* * *

Closing the heavy door behind her Jenny sunk into her chair, throwing the paperwork she had in her hand onto the desk, she stretched out her arms and rolled her neck trying to ease the tension in the muscles there. Rubbing at her temples she let out a long sigh, at least she had told Cynthia she wasn't to be disturbed for anything less than a national emergency and she knew that the younger woman would make sure she was left in peace.

Surveying her office she couldn't help but be proud of what she had achieved, she was the first female Director of an Armed Federal Agency and no one could take that away from her, it had come with a price though but then everything did. It was strange she had never thought this was where she would have ended up, loathed by the very agents who just months ago she had considered her family. Wiping the tears from her eyes she told herself it wasn't her fault and it wasn't, not really. Yes she had offered Tony the chance to go undercover in a classified mission but she hadn't expected him to fall in love with Jeanne. Just like she hadn't expected that car bomb, or La Grenouille's murder, she knew everyone thought she had pulled the trigger but she hadn't, however much she would have liked to she just couldn't kill him in cold blood.

It had been the day of the car bomb that everything had really begun to disintegrate between her and her once friends, she had given Tony the mission therefore it was her fault when he had 'died' , even though she would have let him pull out at any point. Hell she had even asked him if he was getting too involved, something the younger man had strenuously denied, she should have known better. Even Ziva had looked at her with pure hatred in her eyes on that day before finally severing her tie to her and truly becoming one of Gibbs's loyal team, answerable to him and him only. Jenny had felt Ziva's loyalty's switching to Gibbs before then but it had hurt her more than she had wanted to admit, her once close friend leaving her with no one else to turn to. She wasn't even sure what Ziva was more annoyed at, the fact she could have killed Tony or that she blamed her because she had put Tony with Jeanne and he had fallen head over heels for her. Jenny was pretty sure it was the latter, which was ridiculous, she had never thought Tony would get that close, would never have given him the job if she had for one second suspected he would fall for the enemy. Then again as Jenny knew to her cost you couldn't help who you fell in love with, if you could then she would have been able to save herself a lot of heartache. It wasn't fair but then life never was, all she had wanted was to clear her father's name but she couldn't tell anyone that, she didn't want their pity and now, now she had failed, she had let him down, again. The hope that she could make it up to him had died with La Grenouille and all she was left with was the aftermath.

Sometimes she wanted to go back, to make different decisions but since that wasn't an option she would just have to pick herself up and rebuild, something she was used to by now, after all she had been doing it for her entire life.

* * *

**I know the plot isn't very clear at this point but if you would like me to continue then please leave a review. This story will be a slow burn, although I do know where I'm going with it. If you have any questions then feel free to ask :)**

**xxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

He could see her out of the corner of his eye, watching as she always had, making sure everything ran smoothly. Knowing she could see him spurred him on, causing him to lean slightly closer to Hollis, briefly brush his hand against hers and push a stray strand of hair away from her face. It didn't take long for Jenny to move on, he'd known it wouldn't, he could always see the flash of pain in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to suppress it or how quickly she turned away. If Gibbs was going to be honest he didn't actually know why he felt the need to hurt her like this, why he flaunted Hollis in front of her. It was possible that he just wanted to see her react, because that would involve her showing some form of emotion, she was so closed off now, she wasn't his Jenny anymore she was Madam Director.

When she had first taken up the post he saw the Jen he had loved all the time although occasionally she was restrained by the confines of her position but she was there and he had been happy to have her back in his life at least in some capacity. It was when he had returned from Mexico that he had noticed the difference, she had been a lot more guarded but even then he still saw that spark every so often. Then one day it was like she disappeared, the La Grenouille case seemed to swallow her whole, she was obsessed with it and it consumed her every waking moment, he knew it was personal, he could see that, after all he knew all about seeking revenge. Then, after that disastrous mission with the diamonds he had came close to asking her why, why she was letting this case affect her so much. She had of course brushed off his questions and claimed she didn't need to hate him. Gibbs hadn't been so sure and he felt he had been proved right after that night in her study when her hand had closed around her gun, he didn't want to think about what she would have done if he hadn't been there. Then again La Grenouille had probably been shot that night, so maybe she had went after him, it wouldn't surprise him, that night she had been so angry, her lips had been quivering in barely suppressed rage, her eyes had been hard and cold, he had never seen her like that, so vengeful.

Gibbs was drawn back to reality by Hollis running her hand up his arm as she smiled at him, chatting away about something, he didn't know what, unless they were working on a case together he rarely listened to her. It wasn't that he didn't care about her, he did, his relationship with her was very similar to the ones he had had with his ex-wives. It was a fact that didn't bode well for their future together, but overall he found this type of relationship easier to deal with, where he cared but not enough for him to be hurt when things inevitably went bad, which they always did. The only woman he had ever loved after Shannon had been Jen and she had left him without a second thought, leaving him nothing but a note and that had hurt a lot more than he would ever admit to. Maybe that was why he wanted to flaunt Hollis in front of her because he could see it hurt her as much as she had hurt him, it was petty and he knew it, he just couldn't seem to help himself.

'Jethro are you even listening to me?'

Gibbs's head jerked up and he looked into Hollis's questioning eyes he gave her a quick grin, 'Sorry I was miles away'

'Thinking about the case?'

He looked into her trusting gaze and found himself just nodding, taking a gulp of his coffee so he wouldn't have to go further into it. She saved him the bother though by continuing to talk, 'I hope you'll be better company tonight, not that I don't like the whole strong silent thing you have going on'

Frowning slightly he asked, 'Tonight?'

'You were taking me for dinner, we talked about it last night, remember? I told you I was fed up with takeaways in front of your boat'

As Gibbs thought back he could very vaguely remember the conversation, he had mainly said it to get her to stop talking. One thing Hollis had never quite cottoned onto was that sometimes he liked peace and quiet, that sometimes he just wanted to brood, instead he answered her, 'Of course I remember, where do you want to go?'

'Anywhere with tablecloths'

'Fair enough'

She beamed at him, her face lighting up, 'Good I'll see you tonight then', she didn't kiss him, she knew that would appear unprofessional so she just trailed her hand back down his arm again before turning in the direction of the elevators.

Gibbs watched her go before turning his attention to his team, all of whom had watched the exchange with interest.

Tony grinned at his boss, 'Trouble in paradise?'

He just glared at the younger man, watching as he withered under said glare before averting his gaze while muttering a hurried apology. Ziva and McGee just let out their usual stifled laughs as they continued their tasks.

* * *

About an hour later Gibbs glanced up to see a completely composed Jennifer Sheppard walk along the catwalk before sweeping down the staircase. She gave his team a polite smile that none of them returned, relationships were still strained, Tony and Ziva were each holding their grudges while McGee just seemed to be following the crowd. The cold reception didn't seem to effect her and she handed him over a pile of case reports, 'Agent Gibbs you haven't signed off on these reports, please do so and have them sitting on my desk by the time I get back from my meeting'

He let his gaze flicker over her before replying, 'Fine'

As he reached up to take the files he saw it, the flash of emotion in her eyes, he couldn't quite make out what it was but it was very definitely there. It went as quickly as it had appeared and Jenny turned on her heel and sashayed out of the bullpen, as usual all eyes were on her, the vultures were circling, looking for the smallest tidbit to feast on, something else to add to the whirl of gossip that constantly surrounded her.

* * *

Jenny smiled at her security detail and slipped into the back seat of her car, she waited until the door slammed shut before letting her head fall back against the seat. Closing her eyes she took some deep breaths, the look Jethro's team had given her, the coldness in their stares had stung her no matter how much she brushed it off. It wasn't that that was upsetting her though, it was the look Jethro had given her, at first he had given her his usual blank emotionless stare but then, then it had been like he had noticed something, the chink in her armour and he had looked concerned, as though he was studying her. She hadn't been able to take the scrutiny and had turned away, he had always been the one person who could break down her walls and if she let him do that then she was vulnerable and that was the one thing she couldn't afford to be, not in this job anyway.

* * *

**Thank you for all the reviews so far, there will be a majorish event in the next chapter that will start a snowball effect. At least that's the plan I occasionally change my mind so I can't make any promises lol. Please let me know what you think so far, I do love the reviews :)**

**xxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Realised I have forgotten my disclaimer, so here it goes I do not own NCIS or any of it's characters, I am just borrowing them.**

**Now moving on, I know that some of you are going to want to lynch me after this chapter but I am asking you to resist that urge lol. Also I have introduced an original character, I just can't help myself, who will play a bigger part later on in the story. She was originally going to be in my story Forget Me Not but I changed my mind at the last moment, something I tend to do a lot. ****I have the feeling this is going to be a tough story to write mainly because it will not have the fluff that is present in my other stories, yes I am aware that not all my stories are fluffy but this one will be darker in a way that try as I might I just can't explain****. Oh plus it is set in 2008, just in case anyone wondered. Sorry for rambling but my insomnia has kicked in, it is 5am and I can't sleep and despite feeling tired my mind is wide awake and refusing to give me peace it is not good. I promise much shorter authors notes from now on and longer chapters as way of an apology, well if you even want more chapters.**

* * *

Jenny's chin rested on her chest after she had fallen asleep at her desk again after having decided to take some paperwork home with her and it was only the insistent knocking on her front door that roused her. Her head jolted up causing her to moan, the stiff muscles in her neck screaming out in protest at the sudden movement. The knocking continued, the harsh sound making her near constant headache grow in intensity, she slowly got up from her chair and made her way to the door. Looking through her peep hole she let out a groan at who was currently camped out on her doorstep and almost reluctantly let the door swing open so she could stare into the glaring eyes of her aunt, Rebecca Mason.

The older woman stood and for a moment just took in her niece's appearance, her normally sparkling eyes were tired and her face was a lot paler than usual, she sighed, 'You look terrible Jennifer', before brushing past her and heading into the study.

Quickly composing herself Jenny followed her aunt telling her, 'Thanks, you know just how to cheer someone up don't you?'

'I'm being honest with you', Rebecca turned to face her, frowning, 'Did you fall asleep at your desk?'

'I had work to do. Why are you here?'

Rebecca sat down on the sofa, patting the seat beside her to indicate that Jenny should sit beside her, when she didn't Rebecca let out an exasperated sigh but answered her regardless, 'Well I have been leaving you messages for almost three weeks now and you haven't answered any of them, I was worried and from the look of you I have good reason to be'

Jenny crossed her arms across her chest defensively, 'First of all if something had happened to me you would automatically be alerted as you are down as next of kin. Secondly the fact that I haven't had a chance to answer your many, many phone calls does not give you cause to drive all the way from Baltimore and lastly I am fine, tired but fine'

Clasping her hands on her elegantly crossed knees Rebecca resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 'You are not just tired, you are pale and you have lost weight, are you eating?'

'Of course I am eating! And I am always pale'

'You are practically transparent young lady and not only that but anytime you have called us you have been distant, you are not happy Jennifer, that much is obvious'

'I've just been busy that's all'

Rebecca surveyed the girl who was like a daughter to her and shook her head sadly, 'Oh Jenny we've talked about this, you have to lay your father's ghost to rest'

Jenny instantly bristled, 'My dad has nothing to do with this!'

'Ever since he died you have closed yourself off and let's be honest for a minute, the only reason you joined NCIS was because of what happened'

'Sometimes people need a push, something that makes them realise exactly what they want to do with their life'

'Yes but you have put your career ahead of everything else. The Jennifer of twelve years ago would never have let that happen'

'Very few people stay the same person over a period of twelve years'

'Oh for pity's sake Jennifer! You have closed yourself off! You are living like a hermit!' Rebecca lowered her voice slightly and stood up moving so she was standing in front of her niece, 'You were always such a happy person, you were always surrounded by friends and by adoring men', she sighed, 'When were you last happy Jenny, truly happy?'

Jenny swallowed compulsively, she hated being called out by her aunt, the woman had practically raised her and couldn't be fobbed off by the usual lines she would spin, 'I got where I wanted to be, why wouldn't I be happy?'

'That isn't what I asked you', she wiped away a small tear that had broken free and was running down Jenny's cheek, 'I'm worried about you, everybody needs at least one person they can talk to, one person they can confide in, people are not meant to be completely alone. Now you tell me if you have that?'

Jenny stayed silent for a moment, her aunt was right she didn't have anyone, but she was damned if she was going to admit that, she stuck her chin out defiantly, her voice strong and steady as she answered, 'I am fine, I am happy with my life and with the decisions I have made, you don't need to worry about me'

Rebecca shook her head, she wanted her niece to open up, but her walls were built up a lot higher than she had anticipated and it would take an earthquake for them to come tumbling down, or at least a lot more chipping away, it was a good job she had a lot of free time, 'Fine have it your way', she kissed her cheek, 'If you say you're fine then I will believe you', she walked towards the front door, Jenny following her, 'But I expect to see you on Sunday for dinner and don't even think about using work as an excuse, you haven't came to visit for months, we're beginning to forget what you look like. Therefore I am more than willing to drive back here and drag you kicking and screaming by your hair if I have to, do I make myself clear?'

'Yes you do', Jenny managed a genuine smile, 'I promise you that I will be there, it will be nice to see everyone again'

'Good' she opened the door before turning to kiss Jenny's cheek, 'I will see you then'

Jenny watched as her aunt moved down the driveway with a speed and grace that beguiled her seventy five years. Once the car had disappeared around the corner Jenny gently shut the door, locking it behind her, leaning against it she stared into the empty almost mocking hallway. She moved through to her study and picked up a photo frame from her shelf, it was one of her with her father, she had been about ten when it had been taken and he had been home on leave for once. For a moment she just stared at it, letting all her regrets flow through her, not being able to clear him was the failure that haunted her, sighing she placed it back onto the shelf. Once again she turned around and looked around the empty room, she was alone as usual, while at one point she had found time alone soothing, now she found it almost suffocating, mainly because she was now never anything but alone.

* * *

'Tonight was a nice change'

'Uh huh'

'The food was good even if you still managed to take me to a Chinese restaurant', Hollis let out a small laugh, 'Still at least I got to eat it off a plate rather than out of it's container'

'Yeah'

Hollis looked at Jethro, his mind was obviously elsewhere and he just wasn't listening to her, 'Jethro is everything ok?'

Finally he looked at her, he had spent most of the evening thinking about that flash he had seen in Jen's eyes, he still had no idea what that was, or why it was haunting him. He was well aware he had been ignoring Hollis for most of the night, he supposed he should at least attempt to make it up to her. 'Sorry I'm still thinking about that case'

'We got the guy, you can relax now'

'I know', he gave her a brief kiss, 'You coming in?'

She grinned at him, 'Absolutely, although we do need to talk'

Gibbs resisted the urge to groan, why did woman always want to sit down and talk? They could never just sit in a comfortable silence with their own thoughts. In fact the only woman he had ever known who didn't insist on talking to him 24/7 was Jen, he shook himself, he was not going to think about her right now, he was focusing on Hollis. 'What do you want to talk about?'

He switched on his basement light and headed down the stairs, aware that she was following.

'Us'

Throwing his keys on the work bench he poured himself a large bourbon, he didn't have glasses so he poured it into a jar, turning he offered the makeshift glass to Hollis who pulled a face and shook her head. Gibbs took a large slug of the burning liquid before asking, 'Enlighten me, why do we need to talk about us?'

Hollis ran a hand through her flowing blonde hair, 'You know why, I've put things on hold for you, for us and I want to know where we're going'

'Why can't we just see how we go?', he really didn't want to make her any promises but at the same time their relationship was comfortable so he didn't see why it had to end.

'Because my original plan was to retire to Hawaii and I was planning to do so before the end of the tax year, it is now March and I want to know, because if we don't have a future and I mean a proper future, then I don't see the point in hanging around, I would much rather go'

Gibbs took another gulp of his bourbon as he tried to decide what he should do, he didn't want her to leave but to accomplish that he was going to have to offer her something. Without even really thinking about it he blurted out, 'Well then we'll get married'

'What?', Hollis looked at him, her eyes were wide but she couldn't hide the beginning of the smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth, 'Jethro do you mean that'

He shrugged, 'Yeah why not? We're good together'

'Not the most romantic of proposals'

'It is my fourth, no offence but it kind of loses meaning'

'You don't say', she studied him, 'Look I know that this is not an all consuming love but I think we can make each other happy the only thing is I need to know that you mean it, I may not be an old fashioned romantic but I would like to think that my husband wanted to marry me and not just to stop me from leaving him'

Gibbs forced himself to smile, 'Of course I want to marry you'

Grinning Hollis wrapped her arms around his neck, 'Well in that case I accept', she kissed him firmly on the mouth.

He pulled away, 'So what about your job?'

'I'll keep it for now, maybe one day we can sail off into the sunset on your boat'

'Maybe', Gibbs went back to kissing her, trying to block out the screaming voice in his head that was telling him he was making yet another massive mistake.

* * *

**Review, you know you want to ;)**

**xxxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Decided to be nice and give you a quick update :)**

* * *

The early morning sun began to creep into the room through the gaps in the curtains, the rays of light danced across the room making particles of dust appear to glitter and sparkle. Gibbs looked at the woman sprawled out in the bed next to him, the light catching her hair making it gleam gold, reaching out he wrapped a strand loosely around his finger. The movement caused her to smile in her sleep and move closer into him, he stared at the strand of hair and for a moment found himself wishing he was lying next to a certain red head instead. He let the bit of hair go, telling himself to stop it, that wasn't going to happen, he was marrying Hollis. Pushing himself up from the bed he headed into the bathroom and stood underneath the almost blisteringly hot spray of his shower. He still didn't know what had prompted him to propose, whether he had just said it because he knew it would stop the conversation in it's track and marriage no longer meant a great deal to him, it hadn't for some time, so proposing hadn't really been a big deal, maybe this time things would work after all Hollis made him…..content, maybe that would be enough this time. She was more restrained than his ex-wives and she knew and understood his job, so when he became fixated on a case she wouldn't take it as personally as the others had.

Sighing he leant against the cold tiles letting the water wash over him, if Shannon could see him know she would most likely head slap him and demand to know what he thought he was doing, taking marriage so lightly. It had been different with Shannon though, not only had he loved her unquestionably but he had been a completely different person when she was alive. Gibbs was well aware he had closed himself off after losing her and Kelly, let himself fall into the shadows. He wondered if he should tell Hollis about them, he had never told his other wives about them, they had always stumbled across it by accident which in turn sparked a massive argument about his need to keep everything to himself, they always wondered why couldn't he open up to them.

As Gibbs stood and reflected, he realised that he had never actually told anyone about his family, not even Jenny, although he had came close with her, he had wanted to tell her but had stopped short. Why it had been different with Jenny he didn't know, maybe it was because she made him happy, really happy, made him see through the darkness, gave him hope. Or maybe it was because he could see in her the same despair he knew was apparent in him, could see she was hiding secrets of her own, secrets that while they had been together had caused her to occasionally fall silent, her thoughts drifting away, now though whatever she was hiding was destroying her. Part of him wanted to step in and help her, the other part didn't want to get involved after all she had made it clear on countless occasions that she neither needed or even wanted his help or concern. Gibbs wanted to yell in frustration as he realised that he had let his mind drift back to that infernal woman once again, it was like she haunted him, she was another ghost in his past, a past that sometimes he wanted nothing more than to forget.

After a while he could hear Hollis padding around his bedroom and decided he should get out of the shower and head back into the real world. Wrapping a towel around his waist Gibbs walked into the bedroom, on seeing him Hollis smiled and sat on the bed, beckoning him over, he did as he was asked. Hollis leaned forward on her knees so she was almost level with him and wrapped her arms around him, her mouth exploring where his neck and shoulder met. He let her continue her exploration, let her pull the towel from his waist and as he eventually gave into her pull and lay her back onto the bed covering her body with his own, he couldn't help his mind from drifting back to the red head who was now almost constantly occupying his thoughts.

* * *

The team gathered in Abby's lab, awaiting the a fingerprint match to a suspect they had in custody to a baseball bat that was used to kill a Petty Officer who had got caught up in a fight while he was on leave. The suspect they had was as guilty as sin but was insisting despite having been caught on camera that he had been elsewhere that night, so before they charged him they had decided to wait on a match. Unfortunately the systems had overheated and Abby had been forced to reboot her computers, this however gave the team an opportunity to speculate on Gibbs and Colonel Mann. As usual it was Tony who was provided the bulk of the conversation,

'He'll marry her, I'm telling you that now, she is destined to be ex-wife number 4'

Abby shook her head, 'No I'm sorry but I think Gibbs has more sense than that, they're not right for each other', the Goth scrunched up her nose in near disgust, 'After all she's a blonde'

Ziva laughed, 'I don't think he picks them solely on hair colour, at least I would hope not', she raised an eyebrow, 'Although if that's the only criteria I can understand why none of his marriages have worked'

'It's not just that she's blonde, she's so cold, she's like a human iceberg', Abby shuddered, 'Has anyone seen her smile and I mean a proper smile, one that reaches her eyes', she turned and looked expectantly at McGee to back her up.

The man coughed nervously, 'Well no I suppose not'

Tony scoffed at the young man's nervous answer 'Oh come on Probie, grow a pair and be a real man', he turned to Abby, 'Anyway it's not like Gibbs is a happy go lucky person'

'He's more cheerful than that sour faced cow'

'ABBY!', All three gasped at the venom in the young woman's voice.

'What, you all know I'm right, they are not meant to be together'

'Fine!', Tony threw his hands up in mock despair, 'Since you are such an expert who is Gibbs meant to be with?'

'Jenny', She replied simply and took in the narrowed eyes of her friends, 'I know you are all still annoyed at her, although I still don't get why….'

Ziva interrupted her, 'She almost killed Tony!'

'That wasn't her fault! She is Director, she has to make difficult decisions, it's not like she planted the car bomb herself', Abby turned to face Tony, 'And you can't blame her for Jeanne, she didn't know that you would fall for her, also you look me in the eye and tell me that she didn't offer you the chance to pull out'

Tony growled mutinously, 'She should never have put me in that position in the first place'

'Oh grow up you lot! Stop blaming her for your problems', Abby sighed as the group just continued to glare, 'Oh forget it'

Gibbs wandered into the lab, 'Forget what Ab's?'

'Nothing Gibb', she beamed at him, 'Did you bring me a Caf Pow?'

'Did you get my match?'

'Computer will be up in five'

'I suppose you can have it just now then', he handed her over the cup and Abby squealed in delight. Her happiness was cut short though when Hollis walked into the lab.

The blonde gave the group her usual false smile, before focusing her attention on Gibbs, 'Are you almost done?'

'Won't be long'

Abby couldn't help herself, she had to ask, 'Where are you going?'

Hollis linked her arm through Gibbs's arm almost possessively, 'Ring shopping', she raised her eyebrow at Abby almost daring her to say anything to the next words that came out her mouth, she knew the young woman didn't like her, she made it clear but Hollis was not going to let her ruin everything, 'Jethro proposed last night'

Gibbs was pretty sure that this was the quietest his team had ever been, you could have heard the proverbial pin drop, they all looked at him questionably, he just nodded his agreement to Hollis's announcement.

It was Tony who recovered first, he grinned thinking about the pool he started the week before, 'Congratulations you two, you never know fourth time luck……', He trailed off at the sight of Gibbs's glare and thankfully Ziva and McGee jumped in with their congratulations and saved him.

Abby however stood in silence, her eyes narrowed, Gibbs looked up at her, 'Well Abs, what do you think?'

Abby dropped her Caf Pow into the bin and said pointedly, 'Your result's through, it's a match so you can go charge Mr. Spencer', she folded her arms and leaned against the counter scowling.

It was as fate would have it, at that very moment that Jenny walked into the lab, she took in the tense atmosphere and the presence of Colonel Mann and asked, 'Is everything ok?'

Hollis turned and smiled at the red head, 'Everything's perfect, the team were just congratulating Jethro and I on our engagement'

The entire room watched with bated breath for Jenny's reaction, it never came, she merely inclined her head at the couple telling them, 'My congratulations to you both', She then turned her attention back to Abby, 'I just came to let you know I managed to get the funding for that new machine you wanted'

Abby gave her a smile, she wanted nothing more than to hug the red head, she knew she had to be hurting right now, instead she smiled and clapped her hands together, 'Oh thank you, it means I can stop begging and borrowing from others'

Jenny simply nodded and left the lab without another word, Gibbs looked at Abby who narrowed her eyes again, 'I thought you were going to charge your suspect with murder'

Gibbs wasn't sure what to say, he knew Abby wasn't fond of Hollis but he hadn't expected this from her, he felt it was probably best to leave her to sulk, she would come round to the idea, he was sure of it. So he just nodded and left the room, yelling back when his team didn't follow him.

Left alone together Hollis shot a triumphant grin at Abby before walking out of the room. Abby sighed and shook her head, she loved Gibbs but he had no common sense when it came to choosing his wives.

* * *

Jenny slumped in her chair and tried to stop herself from sobbing, he was marrying her, that blonde bitch. She wasn't even that surprised, she knew all the gossip that had been going around but the reality was very different from the thought. The reality hurt like hell, she was going to have to watch him marry her and know that he would go home to her every night, that she would get to wake up with him every morning. Jenny cursed herself, why did she have to care about him when he obviously didn't care about her, she took a deep steadying breath and buried her pain with the rest of her regrets, she had to stay completely composed, she would not falter and she would not show weakness.

* * *

**Like I said it is a slow burn this story but I hope I can keep your interests. **

**Please review :)**

**xxxxx**


	5. Chapter 5

'I'm not going'

Ducky shook his head at the frowning Goth who was currently perched on his desk clutching an embossed wedding invitation, 'Abigail it will devastate Gibbs if you refuse to go'

'Right now Ducky I really don't care', She let out a frustrated scream, 'Why has no one told him he's making a mistake! They're not meant to be together'

'We can't control who we fall in love with my dear'

'If I thought he loved her I could accept this and I would go', Abby shook her head, 'But he doesn't and it's obvious, I mean Tony already has two different pools running, how long till they divorce and what she hits him with when she leaves', She sighed and turned her big eyes to look pleadingly at the doctor, 'Someone needs to talk to him'

'I have already tried that', Ducky let his mind drift back to the argument he had had with his old friend, he had asked if he was sure he was making the right decision and if he loved Hollis. Jethro had shrugged off the questions before angrily growling that he should mind his own business and storming out. He turned his attention back to Abby and shook his head, 'It didn't go very well'

'Humph!', Abby flopped back against the wall, her arms folded, 'Well I'm still not going, maybe he'll take the hint this time'

Ducky couldn't help but smile at the young woman, 'I think he already knows you don't approve'

'What makes you think that?'

'You mean aside from the fact you have still to congratulate him and it's been a month since that little announcement or the fact you now refer to her as that blonde……', Ducky trailed off not entirely comfortable repeating the insult.

Abby threw her arms up in the air yelling, 'Well that's what she is!', before letting herself fall against the cold tiles again. She stayed silent for a few moments but the next time she looked up she was close to tears, 'It's not just that he's making a massive mistake by marrying her Ducky, it's what he's doing to Jenny. She loves him and he loves her, this is hurting her'

'I don't imagine she is finding it easy to deal with but….'

'No buts Ducky, she looks so sad, I mean she's trying to put on a brave face but her eyes are just filled with hurt and it doesn't help that Tony and Ziva refuse to talk to her. Jenny and Ziva were really close and now just because Jenny was doing her job Ziva has blanked her. As for Gibbs he needs one of his own head slaps, he really does. This is not going to end well'

'I know my dear but Gibbs seemed intent on carrying through with this wedding and it's in two weeks time so I don't see him changing his mind now'

'Well I for one am not going to encourage this and will be boycotting the 'blessed' event. You know I bet the real reason they can't get married in a church isn't Gibbs's divorces but the fact that she's the devil and would melt or something'

Try as he might Ducky couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the look on Abby's face, 'I think you need to calm down'

Abby swung herself off the counter and stomped out of Autopsy calling behind her, 'I will not calm down!'

* * *

Gibbs rubbed at his forehead in frustration and glanced at the clock on his desk, it was now half ten at night, he should have known it would be one of those days. In fact really it had been one of those months, he had forgotten how much he hated planning weddings and Hollis talked about it almost non-stop now. First it had been the location, then it had been flower arrangements and where to go on their honeymoon, Gibbs grimaced, he wasn't looking forward to that part, the reason being that he couldn't stop thinking about Jenny. Whenever he was with Hollis she invaded his senses so she was all he could think about and he constantly had to keep a reign on himself to ensure he didn't call out her name, he didn't see Hollis being impressed with that somehow.

Then there was today, today had been a nightmare, first of all the wedding invites had arrived and Abby had pointblank refused to go and had then stormed off to her lab. It had went from bad to worse when they got involved in a stand off between a suspect who had in his infinite wisdom had decided to take his secretary hostage when they had went to arrest him. Jenny had told him to wait for the hostage negotiators but instead he had went in regardless, they had got the woman out safely but Gibbs just knew he was going to get a slap on the wrists tomorrow for disobeying a direct order. Thankfully it looked like she had gone home for the night, so he had dismissed his team and decided to write up his incident report in peace, also he wanted to avoid yet more wedding talk with Hollis.

* * *

Filing away the last of her paperwork Jenny began to gather up her belongings to head home, it was almost eleven and she figured she should at least try to get some sleep tonight, she had barely slept more than a few hours a night since La Grenouille's body had been found. At least she had managed to avoid her aunt's Sunday dinners, she had faked a national crisis and then kept saying she had to work. She just couldn't sit there with her family and pretend she was ok, they would take one look at the dark circles that her make up was now failing to cover and the fact she had dropped a dress size and would instantly see through her lies.

Jenny shoved yet more paperwork into her briefcase, if she couldn't sleep she may as well get more work done, after all she had enough of it. Today had added to it, what with the guy that Jethro had stormed in and shot, despite the fact she had told him to wait, she would have to yell at him tomorrow. The only problem was that she would have to see him to do that, she had been avoiding him ever since she found out he was engaged, she figured the less she saw him the less it would hurt in the long run.

Shrugging her coat on and lifting her bag and briefcase she headed out of her office, as she walked onto the catwalk her stomach dropped, Jethro was sitting alone in the bull pen quietly doing his paperwork. For a moment Jenny debated what she should do before deciding she may as well sort it out tonight and save herself the headache tomorrow, sighing she called out, 'Agent Gibbs', she waited for him to turn around, 'I'd like to talk to you in my office, now.'

She watched and waited as he got up and slowly moved towards the staircase before she turned back to her office, silently dreading the conversation, well more like argument that was about to take place.

* * *

Of course she had still been in, how could he have thought she would have went home at a decent time and now here she was calling him into her office like a lamb to the slaughter. Gibbs followed her in and waited silently as she turned on the lights and threw her jacket over the chair before turning to face him. Her face was pale and drawn as she asked, 'What the hell did you think you were doing today?'

'My job', he knew his response would annoy her and he wanted it to, he had done the right thing, waiting would have only made the situation worse.

Jenny's voice raised slightly, 'You completely disregarded a direct order, you acted unprofessionally and could have got yourself and other innocent people killed!'

Gibbs felt his patience snap, she acted like she was perfect, like she had never made a mistake, like she never got too involved, he scoffed at her, 'Oh that's rich'

Her voice hardened, 'What is that meant to mean?'

'You wanting to lecture me about acting unprofessionally after that fiasco with The Frog is unbelievable'

'This is not about me'

'That makes a change'

'You can't speak to me like this, I'm your boss!', Gibbs knew instantly that he had went slightly too far, Jenny had obviously been on edge anyway and he had given her that extra shove. Her eyes were a blaze of green and her pale face was flushed with anger. Despite this he continued to press ahead,

'So come on Jen, why do you get to do what the hell you like?'

For a moment Gibbs thought she was going to explode with rage, that she would finally show some emotion, he was wrong, all of a sudden she pulled herself up straight and tried to compose herself. He could tell it was an act because of the way her left fist was clenched, the knuckles turning white, 'You know what Agent Gibbs I am done talking to you about this, just make sure your incident report is on my desk first thing'.

She went to push past him, but he wouldn't let her, he was so fed up with her shutting him out, with her insistence that she was fine when she was actually starting to crumble. Gibbs grabbed her forearms and unceremoniously hauled her onto her tip toes, she look up at him in slight shock as he ground out, 'What the hell is going on with you Jen?'

At first Jenny was shocked into silence, then the anger she had tried to push away bubbled up and seemed to prickle underneath her skin, grasping onto her control by the skin of her teeth she forced out, 'I am fine'

His eyes narrowed at her, 'No you're not!'

'It's none of your concern'

'It is when you act like a cast iron bitch!'

Jenny finally snapped, screaming at him, 'How dare you!' and tried to pull herself free from his grip, he was stronger than her though and held her fast pulling her back into him every time she tried to yank herself away.

He was angry and he didn't know why, it might have been her reluctance to talk to him, it might just have been his frustration over the fact she haunted his thoughts day and night no matter what he did. When he looked back he would never be able to tell who initiated the kiss, whether it was her or him. All he knew was that it was almost violent in it's intensity. As she threaded her fingers through his hair, he angled her face upwards, slipping his tongue into her mouth, fighting with hers. He knew it was anger that was fuelling this but he didn't care, the only thing he cared about was that they didn't stop. Even when they needed air their lips were stayed so close that they were almost touching and they were sharing each other's air as their hands pulled at the other's clothing.

Jenny had no idea why she was letting this happen, although she knew couldn't stop it if she tried, she needed this, she had wanted it for so long and she didn't care how wrong it was because it felt too good. She moaned slightly as Jethro lowered her onto the floor, his mouth trailing over her now naked chest, licking and biting at her collarbone as she wrapped her legs around his waist her hands trailing downwards towards his belt.

At some point they were both aware that the mood had shifted, what had been started in anger was now something completely different. The anger had given them a reason to give in but it was the lingering feelings between them that had kept them from pushing the other away.

She felt like his hands were everywhere, like they were burning her flesh, it was all too much and not enough at the same time, she needed more, she needed him. Eventually after what felt like hours he thrust into her and she couldn't help but let out a small scream, her back arching, pushing her hips closer into his. She met his pace and opened her eyes, locking onto his, she could see the passion behind them and she needed even more from him. Desperately she reached for his hand, entwining their fingers as she spiraled out of control, his name on her lips as she fell apart.

She was writhing under him and breaking his self control, it almost felt like a dream, he'd thought about her for so long and now he had her he could scarcely believe it. She opened her eyes and that startling green stared into his, her pupils dark and widened. He felt her search for his hand and slipped it into hers as he tilted her hips one last time, she cried out his name and hearing it in her breathy tone and the way she had clenched around him made him follow her over the edge, groaning her name as his head fell to her shoulder and he spilled into her.

* * *

It took them a few minutes to regain their breaths, she looked up at him, her lips swollen and her cheeks flushed and the guilt almost choked him. He was getting married, what the hell was he doing? He slipped out of her and fell to her side, he could hear her still rapid breathing and he didn't know what to do. After a minute or so he got to his feet and began to pull on his clothing, out of the corner of his eye he saw Jenny sit up and pull the throw off her sofa wrapping it around herself. He couldn't look at her, if he did he knew he would let himself get carried away again and he had caused enough damage. Gibbs didn't say anything to her, he just finished getting dressed and walked out of her office.

* * *

Jenny watched in silence as he got dressed, waiting for him to speak, he didn't though and without even looking at her or saying a word he walked out of her office. She sat on her floor alone and wrapped in nothing but her throw, how could she have let herself get so carried away? She let out a sob, she felt completely ashamed of herself, she had just slept with her engaged subordinate who had walked out only minutes after they had made love. Not only that but she had reopened all her old wounds when it came to Jethro, as the tears fell freely down her face Jenny realised that once again she was completely alone.

* * *

**Yeah I know Gibbs is being a real ass in this story. Next chapter's the aftermath and a talk between Jenny and Abby. Thank you for all the reviews so far, please keep it up :)**

**xxxxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs headed straight home, the minute he had got in he had jumped into the shower, trying to clean off Jenny's touch and smell before he got into bed with Hollis. As he scrubbed at his skin he tried to gather his jumbled thoughts together, he had never cheated on a woman before and he never thought he would but he had. Now, now he had to decide how to deal with his mistake, after all that was what it was, they had just got carried away. He was marrying Hollis, had committed himself to her and they could make it work, ok so it wasn't an all consuming love but they cared for each other, they had the same morals and values, it would work, he would make it work. The only problem was Jen, he wanted to stop thinking about her, he truly did but she had crawled under his skin. He knew what he had to do, he had to just block Jenny out, pretend it hadn't happened, it shouldn't be very difficult as long as he flew under the radar and didn't cause any trouble, it was for the best it really was.

As he stepped out into the bedroom he encountered Hollis in one of his shirts, folding back the covers, getting ready for bed. She had moved in the week before and already they had a sort of routine, Gibbs found it comforting in a way, to know that there was something stable in his life for a change. Hollis obviously heard him enter the room and she looked up at him and smiled,

'You were in there for a while'

'Needed some time to think'

She patted his side of the bed indicating that he should come and sit next to her, concern visible in her face as she asked, 'Rough day?'

'Something like that', Gibbs slipped under the covers next to her, his stomach churning with guilt as she ran her hand over his chest in a soothing manner and kissed his cheek,

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Not really', Gibbs turned on his side and switched off the light, the minute he did so Hollis began kissing up his neck, her hands slipping up under his t-shirt. He didn't know what to do, he knew that if he pushed her away she would wonder what was wrong but then how could he respond when just over an hour ago he had been with Jenny. He turned to tell her to stop but her lips caught his and the protest died on his mouth, the real problem was that when she kissed him he imagined it was Jenny's kiss, when she touched him he thought of Jenny's hands sliding over his skin. If he closed his eyes he was somewhere else, with someone else, it was only when she moaned his name as he kissed her stomach that he faltered and pulled back, he couldn't do this, he just couldn't.

Hollis looked at him questionably and he choked out, 'I can't Hol, not tonight'

She didn't question him, she knew he had almost got himself killed today and obviously emotions were running high, so instead she just nodded and moved closer into him, letting her fingertips draw soothing circles on his chest until she fell asleep.

Gibbs on the other hand stayed awake all night, he needed to stop this, he needed to stay away from Jenny and focus on his upcoming marriage, Hollis at least deserved that much. He would forget Jenny, he would block her out, he had to.

* * *

Jenny sat in her study, a full glass of bourbon hanging from her hand, she couldn't even bring herself to drink it, it reminded her of him too much and she could still feel him on her as it was. She had hoped that he would still be in the building once she had got dressed, he hadn't been though and his car hadn't been in the car park, he really had just walked out on her. She had felt numb on the way home, the initial hysteria had gone and even now she still felt numb.

Her house was mockingly silent, it was always silent but now it was oppressive, it felt as though it was choking her. Jenny stared at the rug in front of the fireplace, something she tried not to do but tonight it was like all her demons had escaped and were whirling around her. Unable to help herself she got to her feet and made her way over to it, kneeling down she pulled it back revealing the pale staining left in the dark wood. She let her fingers dance over the mark before she finally broke down in tears, she wrapped her arms around herself and cried until there was no more tears left.

* * *

The next morning Gibbs stormed into the bullpen, his mood only slightly appeased by the fact that his team was already there. Tony looked up at him, 'Boss the Director wants to see you in her office right away'

Gibbs hesitated slightly at that but managed to recover quickly, without saying a word to his team he turned and headed up the stairs to face Jenny's wrath.

He didn't knock, why break the habit of the lifetime? He heard Cynthia try once again to call him back but he ignored her, throwing the door shut behind him. Jenny was at her desk, she looked surprisingly in control, there was no sign of the rage that surrounded her last night, Gibbs stopped and stood in front of her desk waiting for her to speak.

She glanced at him over her glasses before removing them, she stood up and he watched in interest as she took a steadying breath, she obviously wasn't as in control as she was making out. Jenny finally spoke her voice steady, 'I think we need to talk about last night'

'No we don't, it was a mistake that won't be happening again, as for work I think we are both mature enough to not let this affect us here'

'Right that's fine, as long as we're both on the same page'

'We are', Gibbs steeled himself for what he was about to say, 'Look Jen I know that Hollis and I invited you but I think it's for the best if you aren't at the wedding'

She actually smiled very slightly at that, well it was more of a slight ironic twist to her mouth as she replied, 'I actually sent my reply away yesterday saying I would be unable to attend, it's on a Friday and I have to work so you don't need to worry. Anyway even if I hadn't already declined I wouldn't be going after last night, I feel it would be rather crass to turn up, don't you?', she looked up at him, her eyes were shuttered so she showed no emotion.

He avoided the loaded question and instead asked, 'Is there anything else Madam Director?'

Jenny turned back to her paperwork, 'Yes if you could send up yesterday's incident report'

'It'll be on your desk within the hour'

'In that case you can go Agent Gibbs', He left her office, not even pausing to look back.

* * *

Jenny waited until the door had closed before throwing her pen down, he was still marrying Hollis despite what had happened. She wasn't sure what hurt more the fact that last night meant so little to him that he could just brush it off like that or that he had actually had the gall to ask her not to attend his wedding. The fact that he even thought that she would have the cheek to turn up after what had happened last night just showed how little he thought of her now. He had been so unaffected by it all, it had taken her hours to compose herself enough to call him up here and yet he managed to stay as cold as ice.

* * *

It was lunchtime and Abby headed up the stairs to Jenny's office clutching a bag of food, the team were out on a case and she wanted to take the chance to talk to the older woman. She had brought lunch because she had noticed that Jenny had lost some weight recently and since she had already been slim to begin with it was quite noticeable. So Abby figure the best approach was to sneakily try and build her up a bit, plus she figured with Gibbs about to embark on yet another disastrous marriage Jenny would need a friend and if she came up with a way to get Hollis out of the picture it would be even better.

Cynthia was on her lunch so Abby knocked and waited for a reply, skillfully opening the door with her elbow, because her hands were full, when she heard the familiar voice call out, 'Come in'

Jenny looked up and was surprised to see Abby bounce into the room clutching a multitude of bags, 'Abby what is all this'

'Lunch', the Goth beamed at her, 'I thought it would be nice if we had a girly lunch'

'Abby that's a lovely thought but I have a lot of work….'

'Just one hour', the young woman pouted, 'Please Jenny, pretty please', she held up one of the bags, 'I brought these fancy sandwiches and these utterly amazing cupcakes'

Jenny stared at the bags, she was hungry and she couldn't remember the last time she actually ate lunch, plus it would be nice to have some company for a change, she smiled and stood up from the desk following Abby over to the sofa, 'I suppose one hour wouldn't hurt'

* * *

Half an hour later Jenny and Abby sat on the sofa laughing and for once Jenny found she was actually having a good time, well until Abby asked her, 'So are you going to the fiasco that will be Gibbs's fourth wedding?'

Jenny took a swig of her juice before she answered, 'No I'm not, I have to work that day'

'I'm not going either', Jenny looked up at the Goth in surprise, that she hadn't been expecting.

'Why not?'

'Because it's all wrong, they're not meant to be together'

'You don't know that'

'It's obvious.', Abby turned to look at her boss, 'Can I ask you something?'

'Of course you can Abby'

'Do you still love Gibbs?'

For a moment Jenny just sat in shock, she definitely hadn't been expecting that question and as much as she wanted to she didn't think she had it in her to lie to the bubbly young woman, instead she sighed, 'It's not as simple as that'

'Why not? If you told him I'm sure he'd listen and he wouldn't go through with it'

'Abby I am Gibbs's boss, if anything ever happened between us I would lose my job'

'If you love him isn't it worth it'

Jenny shook her head and gave the Goth a small sad smile, 'I know you see the world in black and white Abby but a lot of things aren't that easy, sometimes you can't get what you want you, reality isn't always perfect and sometimes you just have to accept that.'

'I don't think that's right, I don't see why you two can't be happy together. You both need each other, you just need a push!'

'No we don't Abby. There is too much water under the bridge, we would both have to change so much, it just wouldn't work, I'm sorry', Jenny watched as Abby got to her feet, her expression mournful as she headed for the door, just as she got to the door Jenny called out, 'Abby I think you should go to the wedding'

Abby turned around looking bewildered, 'Why?'

'Because you and Jethro are close and it would mean the world to him, I know it's tough but you need to put your personal feelings to one side and do what's best for your friend, that way if it does fall apart he'll feel more able to come to you, please don't ruin your relationship over this'

'You're right', Abby sighed, 'I don't like it but I'll go', she then turned and all but flounced out of the office.

Jenny couldn't help but smile at the overly dramatic exit. As much as it had hurt her to tell Abby to go to the wedding she knew it was best for the young woman and she knew in the long run she would regret not going. As for her and Jethro making things work, he had made it perfectly clear that he didn't care and as much as it hurt her she was going to have to accept it

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews so far :) and I hope that you'll keep leaving them *hint hint***

**xxxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Not 100% happy with this chapter but have decided I can live with it. Just to make something clear the details of the case mentioned are not very important, I just wanted to hightlight Jenny's state of mind.**

* * *

Two weeks quickly passed and to any onlookers nothing out of the ordinary appeared to be going on, this sadly was not the case.

Gibbs was determined to give his upcoming marriage the best shot he could and so was avoiding Jenny like the plague, surprisingly no one had noticed, although this might have been because his team were still annoyed with her and were themselves actively avoiding her. His tactics weren't working well though, she was still haunting his every moment, it was her eyes, every so often he caught sight of the real Jenny in them and she was drowning, part of him wanted to help but he just couldn't get involved. So instead he kept on ignoring her, he figured she was strong enough to deal with whatever problems she had by herself.

Meanwhile Jenny had spent the last two weeks in turmoil. She was struggling with the fact that Jethro was getting married and wrestling with her feelings for him, she wanted him to be happy, she truly did but whenever she thought about him with Hollis she felt like her soul was breaking. It wasn't just the way things were with Jethro though that was torturing her though. Recently she felt like all her failures had came back to taunt her, her inability to help her father, her failure to clear his name and the fact she hadn't even managed to bring the man responsible to justice, all occupied her mind space. Then there was her ruined relationship with her Agents, Gibbs's team were still blanking her and although she would never admit it, it was really hurting her, she kept having to remind herself that she was just their boss now, nothing more. And work very definitely kept her busy, it was now constant meetings and paperwork, she felt like it was consuming up her entire life. The only form of relief came in the shape of her and Abby's now almost daily lunches, even if Jenny found she didn't have time to talk the Goth would leave her part of the food. It was nice to have someone who cared.

Abby was worried, really worried, she could see that Jenny was struggling although the older woman was trying to hide it. She was doing quite a good job as well, Abby knew for a fact that professionally she was more respected than ever and had eavesdropped on quite a few conversations where her work was being praised, It was privately that she was crumbling, at least Abby knew she was eating now and as a result she looked slightly less frail but even Abby knew that it was like sticking a plaster over a hole in a dam, it was a quick fix, not a long term solution.

* * *

Tony grinned over at his boss, 'Just one day of freedom left, then you'll have another ball and chain'

'What's your point Dinozzo?'

'Just that you should make the most of your last night of freedom'

'I have told you once and I will tell you again Dinozzo if there is a stripper there tonight you are sacked'

'But it won't be a bachelor party without one!'

'Don't care'

Gibbs smiled to himself at the younger Agent's obvious disappointment, although he was still a bit wary about tonight, especially since it was Tony who was organizing it. Tony wasn't his best man thankfully, Fornell was, but the FBI Agent had found it funny to grant Tony his wish and let him arrange the Stag do. Originally Gibbs had planned to ask Ducky, but with his old friend questioning his decision to get married he had decided to go with the safer bet of Tobias, he was starting to regret that now.

Gibbs's attention was suddenly diverted by the door to MTAC slamming shut, he was disturbed to see an obviously shaken Jenny exit and head to her office. Her back was ramrod straight and her fists were clenched as she headed to her office. He couldn't help but wonder what had triggered such a reaction from her.

* * *

Jenny stood in her office taking deep breaths trying to calm herself, she had just had the morning from hell. One of her teams from the Europe division had infiltrated a drugs ring that came to light after a Naval Captain's murder by the ring leader. The raid had went horrendously wrong, it had been on board a foreign boat and the team had ended up trapped while the damn thing slowly sank. The team were trapped in two different sections on opposite ends, both in air filled cavities and they had only been able to get one rescue team out in time and even then the boat was already half submerged so it was going to be difficult to get even one group out.

The lead Agent and one of his men were stuck on one side and four other Agents were stuck on the other. Jenny knew that she had to rescue the larger group first but by the time they had got to the other end of the boat which was old and in disrepair the room had caved in, killing the Lead Agent, a Pete Sanford and critically injuring the other man.

She felt like it was her fault, she found it ironic that she was being praised by Sec Nav for her quick decisions when they had resulted in a man's death, Jenny felt like she had blood on her hands it didn't matter that to her that she had made the right call, someone was still dead because of it. Looking around her office Jenny remembered how she had been so proud when she had got this position, now it just felt like a gilded cage, everyone thought she was lucky, when in reality she just felt trapped.

* * *

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh as he watched McGee and Agent Langer from the FBI carry a paralytic Dinozzo out of the bar. Tony had in fact ended up hiring a stripper but had announced to the woman that he was the groom so he could get the lap dance. He had then attempted to drink Gibbs under the table, which was why he was now in such a state. Gibbs heard Langer mutter to McGee, 'You know what would be fun, since he decided to act as the groom tonight'

'What?'

'If we handcuff him naked to a lamp post'

McGee chuckled and the two headed off with the unsuspecting, unconscious Tony. Gibbs just chuckled, he thought about stopping them but short of following them home he couldn't ensure they wouldn't do it regardless, so he left them to it.

'You know that should be you'

Gibbs turned to face a grinning Fornell, 'I have more sense'

'Really? The fact you're on your fourth marriage would suggest otherwise', he nodded towards the taxi rank, 'You need me to supervise you getting home'

'I somehow think I'll manage, think I'll walk anyway'

'Suit yourself, don't get lost though I don't want to be the messenger, they always take the brunt of the wrath and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'

'Don't panic I'll be there tomorrow'

Fornell just muttered something under his breath as he stumbled towards the taxi rank. Gibbs laughed and began to walk in the opposite direction. As he walked he found his mind drifting back to Jenny and her reaction earlier, word had spread about what had happened and everyone had agreed she had made the right choice. But it was that troubled look in her eyes that had him wondering why it had had such an effect on her, he couldn't take it anymore, she was suffering and he needed to know why, he couldn't watch her do this to herself anymore.

* * *

Jenny nursed her glass of straight vodka, she still couldn't bring herself to drink bourbon, it held too many memories for her. She had called Agent Sanford's wife to offer her condolences, the woman had taken it well saying she had always known the dangers inherent in her husband's job. It hadn't made Jenny feel any less guilty though, Pete Sanford was yet another person she had let down, she had failed to save him, just like she had failed to save her father. She was pulled out of her reverie by heavy knocking on her door, sighing she pulled herself up and answered it, surprised to see a drunk Gibbs on her doorstep.

* * *

He didn't wait for an invite, he just pushed past her into the hallway. Gibbs looked at her, for once actually he studied her, she looked tired and drained, she had always been pale but now she was ashen and she looked as though she'd lost some weight. Jenny had obviously noticed his staring and shuffled nervously as she asked, 'What are you doing here?'

'I heard what happened in Europe, I came to tell you it's not your fault'

She walked past him and into her study as she muttered, 'Oh how noble of you'

Irritated he followed her, he noticed the half empty vodka bottle on the table, he picked it up, 'You don't drink this stuff'

She picked up her glass off the desk and told him, 'I do now'

'You drink all of this tonight'

'No', she shook her head, 'I can only sip it, I've had that bottle almost two weeks now'

'Why vodka?'

'Why not?'

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair, 'I can't do this anymore Jen'

She eyed him in confusion, 'You can't do what?'

'Watch you self destruct, I need to know what's going on with you'

'Nothing I am fine'

'You're lying.', his voice got louder, 'You are falling to pieces Jen! I want to know what you're hiding!'

'It's none of your concern!'

'Jenny I don't like seeing you like this, I do care about you'

She let out a bitter laugh, 'Oh of course you do, that's why you've ignored me for the past two weeks, that's why you walked away without a word after that night in my office'

He couldn't help himself, he snapped back, 'Like you really cared, it was like talking to an ice block the next day! I've had warmer cold showers'

He didn't see the hand coming until it smacked him across the face, he looked up and noticed Jenny was now shaking with rage as she spat out, 'How would you know whether or not I cared? It's not like you hung around long enough to find out!'

Gibbs didn't reply, he didn't have a defence for that one she was right, he tried to change the subject, 'Believe it or not I didn't come here to argue with you, you're hiding something and you obviously need to talk about it'

'I'm hiding something', she laughed again shaking her head, 'That really is rich, you lecturing me about keeping secrets, tell me does Hollis know about your indiscretion? Actually I have a feeling that's not even the biggest secret you're hiding', she moved closer to him, her glass in the hand she was gesturing with, 'After all no one knows anything about your life before NCIS beyond the fact that you were a marine. You go on about me being screwed up but you're hardly an advertisement for a healthy well balanced human being Jethro!'

'Yeah well so far it hasn't interfered with my work, you can't say the same, your fixation almost got Tony blown up!'

Jenny slammed her glass onto the desk, causing it to smash, a shard of it slicing into her hand, she let out a small noise of pain as the blood trickled down her arm. Gibbs hurried out of the room and grabbed the first aid kit that was in her kitchen, when he came back she was on the floor in front of her desk openly sobbing.

At first he just assumed she was in pain from the cut, but as he reached for it to check for glass she pulled her hands away, concerned he told her, 'Jenny you need to let me see it'

It was like she hadn't heard him, the tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she choked out, 'I now quite literally have blood on my hands'

Assuming she was referring to Sanford he told her, 'Jenny what happened today wasn't your fault', he cupped her cheek and turned her face towards him so she was forced to look at him as he repeated, 'It wasn't your fault'. The tears continued to fall but she let him check her hand, clean it and bandage it up, once he was done he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him, her head leaning against his chest, waiting for her to calm down.

Eventually her sobs subsided and they just sat in silence, neither one sure what to say. Gibbs went to place a kiss to her hair but she tilted her head up at that exact moment and instead his lips brushed across her forehead. She looked at him, her cheeks were still damp and her eyes were still filled with a pain she had long tried to bury.

Wanting to comfort her he rubbed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears, she still just looked at him, her green eyes wide and something inside him snapped, he needed her. He lowered his face and brushed his lips across hers, she immediately kissed him back, her uninjured hand curling into his jacket collar, pulling him closer. Her reaction made him deepen the kiss, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, nipping at it gently before letting it go and running his tongue along her lips seeking entrance. She granted him it and moved even closer into him, moaning against his mouth, her hands slipped downwards and undid the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and onto her floor before her hands went back to explore the newly exposed skin.

Gibbs mimicked her actions, he continued to kiss her as he undid her blouse and pushed it to the floor. He then pulled his mouth away from hers and littered kisses all over her collarbone, the swell of her breasts and her stomach. Jenny gasped and pulled him back up to her for another kiss. Eventually he pulled her to her feet and they tumbled upstairs together.

The minute they were in the bedroom Gibbs kicked the door shut, his hands skimming down Jenny's sides searching for the zipper on her skirt, slowly pulling it down before letting the skirt hit the floor. Her hands were at his belt and his trousers quickly went the same way as her skirt, he had to bite back a groan as she ran a hand over his tented boxers although he couldn't help bucking his hips towards her.

He backed her towards the bed and as her knees collided with it and she fell backwards she pulled him with her, he braced his hand above her head so he didn't crush her as he fell but settled the lower part of his body against hers.

They quickly divested the other of the remainder of their clothing and he lowered his head to her breast, causing her to arch and moan out as he slowly drew one pebbled nipple into his mouth. After repeating the slow torturous process to her other breast he kissed his way back up to her mouth. He became so engrossed with kissing her that he didn't notice when she pulled one leg up, bracing her foot against the mattress so she could flip them over.

She gave him a very brief smirk at his look of surprise before raising herself up slightly and then sinking down onto him. He couldn't help but groan out as she slowly circled her hips on his, her palms placed flat against his chest, her fingers curling into the hair there. Needing to be closer to her he wrapped an arm around her waist and sat up so they were chest to chest, every inch of their skin was in contact. Jenny gasped for breath as she picked up her pace, the coil in her stomach growing, her entire body felt as though it was about to burst into flames.

Gibbs reached up and tangled his fingers through her wild red curls and pulled her mouth to his again as she came apart for him, he swallowed her scream before following her over the edge.

For a moment they stayed like that before Gibbs lay back, pulling Jenny with him. His common sense was back and it was telling him what an idiot he was, this was why he had been avoiding her, anytime he was near her his self-control broke. He knew she needed his help but he was getting married and he owed it to Hollis to give it a proper shot.

Jenny knew he was having his regrets, she could sense it, shifting she rolled off of him and onto her other side so she faced away from him. After a while she felt him push himself up and begin to get dressed again, she knew the answer to her next question but she asked it regardless, 'You're still going to marry her, aren't you?'

She heard him stop what he was doing and sigh, 'Yeah I am, Jen I can't do it to her, I need to make it work this time'

Pulling the sheet around herself, she sat up to face him, 'I want you to leave and when you get back from your honeymoon I don't want to see or speak to you again unless it is in an official capacity'

He nodded and turned to leave, just before he shut the bedroom door behind himself she could have sworn she heard him whisper, 'I'm sorry Jen'. That night she didn't cry, she pushed her pain back down to the recesses of her soul and hoped it would never resurface.

* * *

The next day went surprisingly smoothly, well apart from Abby's glares during the ceremony and the fact that Dinozzo almost missed it after having to be cut free from a lamp post and convince the police not too charge him with indecent exposure. Gibbs managed to push his guilt to one side, he was doing the right thing, Jenny had been a mistake and it wasn't one he would repeat. The rest of the day flew by in a bit of a haze though but it didn't really matter, he was married now, nothing else mattered.

* * *

**Ok I know you'll all want to lynch me now but remember this is NOT the end lol and if you leave me reviews I will update quicker :)**

**Plus you get a choice for the next chapter I can either go straight to Gibbs coming back from honeymoon OR you can have a scene where Abby meets Rebecca, your choice :)**

**xxxxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**I personally don't like this chapter, I feel it didn't work out the way I wanted, but what can you do? Anyway I want to thank you all for your reviews I love them all lol.**

* * *

Turning off her machines and her music Abby got ready to head home for the day. It was almost lunch-time but then it was a Sunday and she'd only really come in to run a couple of DNA tests for one of the other teams. Waiting for her computer to shut down she tapped her fingernails impatiently off of the counter, patience had never been a virtue that Abby had possessed. With a few minutes to spare she let her mind drift, Gibbs had been away on honeymoon for a week now, she still struggled to believe he had actually went through with it. She had hoped that he would come to his senses and see what a massive mistake he was making, Abby was beginning to think he liked getting divorced because that was where this was headed, she honestly didn't see how this marriage was going to work.

Her computer gave one last whir as it finally shut down, Abby swung her bag over her shoulder and bounded out of her lab wondering what she could do for the rest of the day. She remembered hearing someone say Jenny was in today so she could drag her out for some lunch and shopping, after all she had barely seen her since just before the wedding and she wanted to see how she had taken it. Abby nodded to herself, that was what she would do, she would cheer up her friend.

* * *

Twirling her pen around her fingers Jenny read over some case reports, she had once again made her excuses to get out of her family lunch and had instead came into the office to do yet more paperwork. It kept her busy, kept her mind from wandering, from thinking about how much her life had veered off of her original plan. She jumped as her door swung open and an over excited Abby whirled into the room, her pigtails bouncing up and down as she jumped onto the conference table, 'Grab your things we're going shopping'

Jenny looked at her over her reading glasses for a second before taking them off and folding them neatly, placing them next to the pile of papers she had on her desk, she sighed, 'Abby I really don't have time right now, I have all this paperwork to do…'

'No', Abby interrupted, 'You don't get to use that as an excuse, you've been holed up in MTAC and meetings all week and you need at least a couple hours off, so come on get ready, that'll be waiting for you tomorrow'

As Jenny stuck her heels in and began once again to reel off a list of reasons as to why she couldn't possibly leave the office Abby couldn't help but roll her eyes. She sat fidgeting on the table, waiting for the speech to finish so she could just drag her away.

* * *

Rebecca stepped out of the elevator and smiled at the security guard who was escorting her, he waved her in the direction of the staircase and mumbled his goodbyes, although he stood at the doors to the elevator, obviously making sure she didn't get up to no good. She took a quick moment to glance around the empty bull-pen and sighed, she had known her niece didn't have an emergency at work but still the lengths she was going to too avoid a family lunch was unbelievable. It had been a month and a half since she had threatened to drag Jennifer there and she was going to make good on her word this week, she had given her niece all the chances to come off her own steam and open up to them, it was about time she forced the issue.

Rebecca began to head up the stairs, conscious that the guard was still watching her, she headed through the double doors into a spacious waiting area complete with an assistants desk which was vacant at the moment. Obviously her niece was the only person who felt it necessary to work all the hours God sent. Throwing open the door Rebecca stormed into Jenny's office, she took note of the young dark haired woman dressed all in black who was almost bouncing on the conference table in the middle of the room and putting her hand on her hip she sent a glare at her niece as she said, 'So where's the national emergency?'

* * *

Abby looked up in bemusement at the woman standing in the doorway. The woman was in her mid-seventies, her grey hair was pulled back from her face in a neat bun and her familiar green eyes sparkled in irritation. She placed a hand on her hip and tapped her foot on the floor as she demanded, 'So where's the national emergency?'

For once Abby saw something she had never thought she'd see, a speechless Jenny, her friend just sat there, her mouth slightly agape as she obviously searched for an answer. After a few seconds she regained her composure and stood up from her desk, she gestured the woman in the doorway, 'Abby this is my aunt Rebecca Mason. Becca this is our forensic specialist Abigail Scutio'

The woman gave Abby a warm smile and offered her hand, Abby however didn't do formal handshakes and jumped up to hug the surprised woman, 'Oh wow! It's nice to meet you, Jenny's never spoken about her family so this is……….Oh I can't even think of a word'

Rebecca couldn't help but laugh at the enthusiasm she had been greeted with, 'It's nice to meet you too my dear, although I have to admit I didn't expect to find anyone else here on a Sunday'

Abby waved her hand dismissively, 'I was only in for a couple of hours, I was just trying to persuade Jenny to join me for some lunch'

Rebecca's eyes almost gleamed, 'What a coincidence I was here to do the exact same thing…..well I wasn't so much going to ask as to drag her by her hair'

Not sure whether or not Rebecca was joking Abby let out a weak laugh and looked nervously at Jenny, who was actually blushing and shifting slightly uncomfortably on her feet. Rebecca stepped towards her and enveloped her in a hug before stepping back and keeping her hands on her nieces shoulder's she stepped back and eyed her critically, 'You look tired, have you been sleeping?', not even waiting for an answer she continued, 'At least you don't look quite as skinny as the last time. So…', she looked around, 'Where is this emergency?'

Jenny rolled her eyes, 'Ok so you caught me, I made it up so I could come in and get some paperwork done'

'You don't say', Rebecca stepped back and turned her attention to Abby again, 'So have you managed to convince her to unchain herself from her desk yet?'

Abby grinned, 'Not yet, although I'm determined to'

Rebecca smiled, a plan formulating in her head, 'My dear why don't you join us for lunch? Every Sunday I force my family to get together for lunch, Jennifer had missed the last three months', she shot her niece an accusing look before continuing, 'And I'm afraid I'm insisting on her presence this week but I would love for you to join us'

Clapping her hands and bouncing on the spot Abby squealed, 'Oh I'd love too'

'Good', Rebecca beamed at her, 'It's all settled then'

Feeling put out Jenny asked, 'Do I not get a say in any of this?'

Rebecca just laughed at her niece, 'Oh you had your chance Jennifer, I gave you fair warning that I would drag you by force if needs be. Your uncle and cousins haven't seen you in months and it's simply not healthy for you to work all the time, so if I were you I would move your bony ass downstairs and into the car'

Abby watched in amusement as a Jenny picked up her stuff and headed towards the door grumbling, 'I can't believe you drove for an hour just too make me come for lunch'

'Needs must my dear, needs must'

Abby smiled to herself, she was actually looking forward to this lunch, Jenny's aunt seemed interesting and maybe she would get to see what made her friend tick.

* * *

Jenny sighed and leaned her head against the cold window frame as she listened to her aunt and Abby chat away quite happily. She still couldn't believe that Becca had turned up like that, yes her aunt has threatened to do so on countless occasions but she had never followed through. Jenny bit back a groan, today was going to be a nightmare, she could just tell, her aunt had an agenda, something which didn't bode well.

* * *

Abby settled back into the comfortable back seat and let out a contented sigh, she gave a quick glance towards Jenny and saw that the red head was fast asleep. Looking over she saw that Rebecca was watching her niece out of the corner of her eye, concern etched on her face, the older woman must have noticed her watching because she looked slightly guilty and then shot her a small smile.

Feeling the need to break the silence Abby gave a small cough to get the woman's attention before asking, 'So who'll all be there today?'

Rebecca smiled, 'Oh everyone. My husband Thomas, our son's David, Mark and James, their wives Karen, Lori and Mellissa and our seven grandchildren, I won't go into names because you'll never remember them and they normally disappear after dinner to do their own thing so chances are you'll barely see them.'

'Wow I never knew Jenny had such a big family! Will her parents be there?'

The older woman's smile faltered slightly, 'Both Jennifer's parent's have passed on. As it happens Jennifer lived with us from the age of three when my sister passed, her father was away most of the time and we thought it was better for her be brought up in a stable family environment.', she glanced over at her niece and smiled softly, 'She's the youngest, my boy's are all older, James is the closest to her in age and there is still six years between them. Thomas and the boy's were always so protective of her, they still are, I always felt sorry for any boyfriends Jennifer brought to meet us, they were always…..intimidated'

Abby let out a small laugh, trying to picture someone intimidating a certain silver haired fox, 'I bet that didn't work with Gibbs'

Rebecca frowned, 'Who?'

'Um….', Abby tried to think of a way to backtrack, 'He and Jenny were partner's and I just thought that you might have met him'

'What kind of partner's?'

'Depends on who you talk to, you never get a straight answer from either one of them but there's a couple of pools running just no definite answers'

'He's still on the scene then?'

Abby shifted nervously, 'Kind of, he got married last week though, to his fourth wife'

Rebecca didn't reply she just raised an eyebrow and tutted slightly, Abby slunk down in her seat, Jenny was going to kill her when she woke up.

* * *

Ten minutes later they pulled into a large driveway and Jenny jolted awake, without saying a word she stepped out of the car and moved towards the house, Abby followed feeling slightly nervous. She quickly realised she didn't need to though, when she stepped into the warm, inviting hallway she felt instantly at home in the noisy and chaotic environment. A tall dark haired man walked into the room and picked Jenny up from her feet, enveloping her in a massive bear hug,

'How have you been stranger?', he placed a now smiling Jenny on her feet before continuing, 'You've lost weight, I didn't hurt my back like usual when I lifted you'

She slapped his arm, 'Oh very funny James, I would have hoped Mellissa would have had you better trained by now'

'Can't teach an old dog new tricks'

Jenny's reply was cut off by an older man walking into the room, he was tall and bald with slight tufts of gray hair, he held out his arms, 'There's my girl'

Jenny ran into his arms, 'Uncle Thomas, it's good to see you again'

He hugged her before holding her at arms length to take a proper look, 'You look tired, have you been taking care of yourself?'

Even Abby could tell that Jenny's smile was false, 'Of course I have'

He gave her a skeptical look before turning his attention to Abby, the Goth had been standing out of the way in the corner, 'Who's this?'

Abby felt Rebecca push her into the middle of the large group, 'This is Abby, she works with Jenny'

She gave a smile and a strange half wave, she needn't have been nervous though because next thing she knew she was surrounded by a swirl of people all talking away to her quite happily as they led her through to the dinner table.

* * *

It was nice Abby concluded, it was nice to see Jenny relax slightly and her family was determined to drag her out of her shell and into the conversation. After dinner they all sat down in the living room and Abby wasn't too surprised to see that Jenny had once again drifted off to sleep. Rebecca covered her with the throw and everyone lowered their voices slightly so they didn't wake her up. She hadn't been asleep very long when her she started to frown, then her hand tightened around the throw and she began muttering slightly. Abby frowned, she looked almost in pain, that was when she started screaming, Abby jumped in fright as Becca ran over to her niece.

* * *

_She ran up to the front door while simultaneously raking in her bag for the door keys. She had meant to get here an hour earlier but she had gotten stuck in the downtown traffic. It still seemed unreal, how the hell could they accuse her dad of being a traitor to his country! After all he had done for them._

_She wondered how he was doing, she had phoned him last night and he had seemed quite upbeat that he would be cleared. _

_After a while she managed to find the keys and unlocking the door she stepped into the silent hallway. It was quiet, something which was unusual in itself, her dad always played music, normally jazz, while he was in the house. The lights were all off as well, so the hallway was dark and eerie, that was when she saw the light eking out from under the study doorway. She moved forward calling out, _

_'Dad you in there?', she knocked on the door, it was usually open, frowning when she got no reply she pushed the door open and stepped inside._

_For a moment she just stood there, her feet rooted to the floor in shock. Her dad lay in the middle of the room on his back, his eyes wide opened and staring, a gun in his left hand, his head lay in a pool of blood and there was splatters of blood and flesh covering the walls. That was when she realised she was screaming…….'_

Jenny was woken by Becca shaking her shoulder, her face lined with concern as she told her, 'You had a bad dream, you're ok'

For a moment Jenny just stared at her, then she noticed that everyone else in the room including Abby was also looking at her, worry shining in their eyes. Feeling flustered she pushed herself up from the sofa muttering, 'I need some air' before heading towards the back garden, irritated to find that Becca was following her.

* * *

After a few minutes Abby's concern got the better of her and she went to see how Jenny was, she walked into the kitchen and headed to the back door, she paused when she realised that both Jenny and her aunt were standing just out of sight, deep in discussion. Feeling slightly guilty but desperate to know what was wrong with her friend Abby stood and listened in,

'What was your nightmare about?'

'Nothing it was just a bad dream'

'It was about your dad, wasn't it?'

'No'

'Jennifer for pity's sake stop lying to yourself, you're not doing yourself any favours'

'I am fine'

'No you're not, I bet that wasn't the first nightmare you've had recently either'

'Oh what does it matter!'

'We're all worried about you Jenny'

'You don't need to be!'

'It's not just your dad though, is it?'

'What do you mean?'

'Who's Gibbs?'

'He works for me'

Abby winced slightly at Rebecca's next words, 'Abby made it sound like he was more than that'

'We worked together years ago and you know how people like to gossip'

'I can see from your face that you're lying, he's married Jenny I hope you have more sense than that!'

Jenny sounded close to tears when she answered, 'Will you please just drop it'

'No I won't, please Jennifer whatever is bothering you would you please just tell us!'

'This is exactly why I kept cancelling, you never listen! I have told you countless times that I am fine! Why do you refuse to listen to me! I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and I don't need you or anyone else giving me their opinion on my weight, or how tired I look, how much I work or what I'm drinking! I am so fed up of people pretending to give a crap!'

'Jennifer!'

'No don't! I don't want to hear it! I'm going home'

Abby swiftly ran into the hallway, she just made it before she heard Jenny storm out of the kitchen and began gathering her things. The red head was back in complete control when she swept past Abby, she stopped and gave her a polite smile, 'Are you ready to go?'

'Um yeah, I'll just grab my bag…..How are we getting home?'

Rebecca stepped into the hallway, 'I'm taking you, I'll drop Jenny off first and then you, is that ok'

Nodding Abby replied, 'Yeah that's fine'

* * *

The car ride home was silent, Abby hated the obvious tension between the two women and for once she was unsure of how to proceed, she knew that her usual rambling wouldn't help. The only time Jenny spoke was when she they pulled up outside her house and she said goodbye and jumped out of the car. Abby moved into the front seat once Jenny was inside the house but Rebecca stayed silent until they pulled up outside Abby's apartment building, it was only when the Goth moved to open the door that the older woman reached out and grabbed hold of her hand.

When she turned to face her she saw that Rebecca's looked close to tears, her lips were thin and tightly pursed, her voice low as she spoke, 'Jennifer is like a daughter to Thomas and I, she is like a sister to my boy's and their wives and an aunt to my grandchildren', she took a shaky breath, 'She means the world to us and it hurts us to see her like this but she refuses to talk to us….', Rebecca looked up her eyes watering as she searched Abby's face, 'Has she said anything to you?'

'No, I've tried but she's a private person, she used to talk to Gibbs but things have been pretty bad between them for a while now'

Rebecca nodded before speaking again, 'Abby thank you'

The young Goth was confused, 'What for?'

'For trying, I know how difficult Jennifer can be when she clams up, I just hope she'll open up soon, I can't force her too as much as I might want to'

'I could keep trying if you want?'

'No', Rebecca shook her head, 'It will just make her withdraw even more, just please keep doing what you're doing, don't push her, at least I know she has someone looking out for her', she sighed, 'She wasn't always like this but after…….', she trailed off, shaking herself slightly she gave Abby a smile, 'I should let you go, I'm sure you have things to do'

Abby squeezed the older woman's hand and gave her a small smile before climbing out of the car, watching as she drove away. She wrapped her arms around herself, she wasn't sure if she knew how to handle this any more.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter was not originally going to happen but I felt it needed to be done. I felt that as much as I personally don't like Hollis she is not the villian of this piece, I don't actually see anyone as the villian although Gibbs's behaviour has been pretty awful so far lol.**

* * *

Shifting restlessly in the bed Gibbs looked over at his sleeping wife and let out a massive sigh. He pushed the covers off himself and slowly and carefully, so not to wake Hollis, got up out of the bed, moving first over to the wardrobe, pulling on some clothes and then over to the bedside cabinet. Picking up the pen he quickly wrote a note for Hollis in case she did wake up before he got back, he glanced at her once more before swiftly leaving the room.

* * *

He made his way barefooted down to the beach, the night air was still warm and slightly cloying, he missed the cool breezes of D.C. still there was only a week until they headed back. Part of him already knew why Hollis had been so insistent they honeymoon in Hawaii, he knew that she was hopeful he would fall in love with the place. She was already hinting about them both retiring to the area in the near future, he had just made some non-committal noises when she brought it up and eventually she would let the issue slide, although she had brought it up a couple of times now. The truth was that he wasn't in anyway ready to retire, he had realised that while he was in Mexico, yes the time he'd had to himself had been nice but his work was part of who he was now, he thought Hollis had known that.

The sand was still warm as he walked along the sand, he'd needed out of that hotel room, he needed time to himself. Gibbs had hated his last three honeymoons and this one was no exception. The first one he had spent comparing it to his and Shannon's honeymoon and since his feelings for his wife were nowhere near as intense as his love for Shannon it was always going to be a disappointment. On his honeymoon with Diane she had spent most of it making eyes at every other guy in the place, he supposed he should be slightly grateful that at that point she had just contented herself by dragging her new husband back to the hotel room, something which didn't last once they had arrived home. Then there had been Stephanie, she had had the toughest break out of his three ex-wives, she had not just one woman to compete with but two. In all honesty Gibbs knew that he hadn't been over Jenny, she had been the first relationship he'd had that he didn't compare with Shannon.

He looked out over the ocean, listening to the soothing sound of the waves lapping out onto the sand, he still wasn't over Jen and he knew it. It had got so bad over the past week and he knew that Hollis had noticed his long silences and there was no way she had failed to noticed the lack of sex that was taking place on this honeymoon. Apart from on their wedding night, he had made his excuses whenever Hollis had tried anything, he just couldn't do it, whenever she touched him all he thought of was Jenny and that was when the guilt kicked in.

Not only did he feel guilty about the fact he had cheated on his now wife, who very definitely deserved better but he was tortured by the look in Jenny's eyes when he had walked away that second time. She had looked desolate, there was no other word for it and for the past few days that look was all he could see, all he could think of. The intensity of his feelings for Jen scared him, he had always loved her and at one point when they had been together in Paris he thought they could've made it work but she had left him and he wasn't sure he fully believed the excuses she had left in her letter. He grimly shook his head, it had all seemed so much simpler then, although it hadn't been really he had secrets and she had been hiding things as well. That being said he missed the Jenny he had fallen in love with, she was funny, clever, witty and vivacious, occasionally she would get a far of look in her eyes where she seemed almost haunted, that look scared him mainly because he had seen it some mornings he had looked in the mirror. Now it was like she had been swallowed up by the darkness and he hadn't seen his Jenny in a while. That was why they couldn't work, they were both broken, both kept too much to themselves and that was in no way conductive to a healthy relationship.

As for Hollis the guilt was crippling him, he had came so close to admitting what had happened but then that wouldn't help anyone but himself. Hollis would most likely be humiliated, furious and hurt, it would almost definitely get out and Jenny would lose her job, he didn't see Sec Nav being happy about her sleeping with one of her lead Agents. Her job was what Jenny thrived on, he could see that was what was keeping her going, although it was ironically what was adding to the pressure that was obviously growing on her, still she wouldn't appreciate losing everything she had worked for because he had felt guilty and needed to absolve himself.

Gibbs wanted to help her, he truly did but whenever he went near her he couldn't control himself, her need for comfort superseded everything else, everything he thought he wanted.

He had thought that marrying Hollis was what was good for him, they had the same morals and values and when he wasn't in one of his black moods then she made him laugh, there had only ever been one person with the ability to pull him out of his bouts of regret and remorse, Jenny though had seemed to recognize when to help him and when to leave him to his thoughts.

Gibbs sighed and looked back towards the hotel, he should probably get back, there was no point in standing here debating what to do, he had made his decision. He had chosen Hollis and had burned any bridges he had with Jenny, she wasn't going to forgive him, maybe it was for the best though, in reality the only person who could save Jenny was herself, just like he had to be the one to decide when he could finally let go of the ghosts of his past.

* * *

Stretching out her arm looking for her new husband's warmth, Hollis was perturbed to find that he was no longer there, she blinked her eyes open, taking a few seconds to adjust to the darkness before flicking the bedside lamp on. That was when she saw the hurried note on the pillow, for a second she experienced a feeling of pure dread but then when she read that he had just went for a walk she relaxed slightly. She pushed herself out of the bed and made her way to the balcony, she didn't open the doors, just looked out of the window, she could see a solitary silhouette on the beach making their way back to the hotel, she knew instinctively it was him.

Hollis made her way back to the bed, sitting down rubbing tiredly at her eyes, so far her honeymoon was not going as planned, Jethro seemed distracted and on edge. He hadn't touched her since their wedding night and even then he had seemed distant, his eyes had stayed closed almost the entire time, biting down on his lower lip. Technically it had been good but it had been completely lacking in the emotional intensity she thought would be present the first time they made love as a married couple.

She turned to face the door as it clicked open and Jethro walked in, he looked vaguely surprised to see her awake and voiced theses thoughts,

'I thought you'd still be asleep'

Smiling she answered him, 'No I woke up, I got your note', she got up and wrapped her arms around his neck, 'You know it's not as romantic if you go for the moonlight stroll by yourself'

'Sorry I needed some time to think'

Hollis noted in dismay that his hands stayed rooted at his side, she tried again to get through to him, 'What about?', He just shrugged slightly so she continued, 'It is a beautiful place here, so calm and peaceful it makes a nice change from D.C.'

'Hollis I'm not retiring anytime soon, I told you this and you said you were fine with it'

She finally let her arms drop, 'I know that, I suppose I just thought that maybe, sometime soon you would think that a fresh start would be good for us'

'I like my job and I have no intention of leaving it'

'Ok', she held her hands up in defeat, 'I don't want to argue', she then smirked and ran her hands up his chest, 'Well unless we get to make up afterwards', He didn't answer, just stared past her shoulder and out of the window. Frustrated she guided his face back to his and pleaded with him, 'Jethro whatever is going on with you, please please let it go, give us a chance'

He looked at her for a minute and she could see almost hear his mind whirring, the agonizing silence seemed to last forever before he finally nodded, 'You're right, I'm sorry Hol, let's just start over'

She smiled at him, 'That sounds like a plan', she leaned forward and caught his lips in a kiss, relieved when he returned it and backed her towards the bed.

* * *

Gibbs hadn't known what to say at first when Hollis had all but begged him to give them a shot, then it had clicked in his head. They were married, at the end of the day he should at least try to make things work and starting over seemed like a good idea. Gibbs swallowed hard and pushed Jenny out of his mind, he had to accept the reality of the situation, he had made his choice and he would make his marriage work.

* * *

**Next chapter WILL be set after Gibb's return. Once again thank you for all your alerts and reviews :) Please keep it up! For anyone who is wondering this story has a fair bit to go yet and I'm not really sure how many more chapters, I hope this doesn't bother anyone and I hope you are ok with this. Also I feel compelled to warn that there will be more angst, I hope this doesn't put anyone off and I hope that no one thinks that I am dragging this out too much, although if you think this then let me know and I will try to step things up a bit, although to be honest I would prob have to completely change the plot. Anyway I digress, please review and I will update as quickly as I can, I have uni work to do tonight so it might not be till Sat but I will type as quickly as I can if you review :)**

**xxxxx**


	10. Chapter 10

Her fingers were turning white because of the force that she was gripping onto the rim of the toilet seat with as she heaved into the water below, her brow was covered with a thin sheen of sweat from the effort. She let out a moan as her stomach muscles clenched again and she felt her eyes water slightly at the exertion of emptying what little was left in her stomach. After a few seconds Jenny leaned back, grabbing some toilet roll she wiped at her mouth and flushing the toilet she let herself slump to the side so her head was pressed against the cold bathroom tiles. For a few minutes she just sat there, breathing heavily, her eyes closed as she willed her stomach to stop rolling.

This was the third morning in a row that she had had to rush to the bathroom and bring up the contents of her stomach, it wasn't just confined to the morning's either and certain foods and smells also made her feel queasy. She was pretty sure that someone up there was screwing with her because she wasn't just nauseous ,she was also six days late. Getting shakily to her feet she looked at the unopened pregnancy test that she had bought last night, she had yet to summon up the courage to take it though, mainly because the answer terrified her beyond belief, she honestly didn't know what she would do if it came back positive.

Picking up the box Jenny turned it over in her hands letting out a shaky breath, to make things worse Jethro was due back from his honeymoon today. She still meant what she had said to him, she had no intention of letting conversation stray outside the confines of work related topics, in fact she had planned to ignore him as much as possible, she just wasn't sure how that would work if she was carrying his child. Tears pricking at her eyes she tried to think about what she should do, she was just so confused, this wasn't supposed to happen. At one stage in her life she had always thought that she would be a mother but those plans had went out the window after her dad's death and had been replaced by her five point plan. Even if she still wanted kids, which she wasn't sure if she did, she very definitely didn't want them like this, with her married employee. When she had wanted them she had also planned to have a husband who she loved and who loved her back. Jenny let out a low groan, she was going to a home wrecker, well that was assuming she was pregnant, that she had wanted to keep it and that Jethro would have anything to do with them. Although she actually wasn't sure if she wanted him involved in anyway shape or form and the thought of another woman being anything close to a mother figure to her child made her want to scream in anger.

Opening up the box Jenny realised there was no point in trying to make decisions about her future when she didn't even know whether or not there was even any reason to. In reality it was very probably just a scare, she was forty three for Christ's sake! Women her age were meant to struggle to get pregnant and if they did it seemed to entail almost militant planning, temperature taking and only having sex at certain times in certain positions, so it was highly unlikely that she had managed to get herself knocked up from that one stupid night in her office. Feeling slightly braver now Jenny decided she was ready to get her answer, confident that it would be negative and she could get on with her life.

Less than five minutes past and Jenny perched on the edge of her bath, tears filling her eyes as she stared at the two vibrant blue lines on the test. They seemed to almost jump out at her, mocking her, she threw the test into the sink in disdain. It was wrong, it had to be, it was a false positive they had to happen to someone and maybe that someone was her. Jenny got to her feet and moved into her bedroom, she stood in front of her full length mirror turning sideways to examined her perfectly flat stomach, there was no way she was having a baby, she just had a stomach flu, that was why she was feeling ill, no other reason. Her hand stalled, hovering over her stomach, she couldn't even bring herself to touch it, the thought that there was a life in there that was completely dependent on her scared her witless. She had screwed up so much, she constantly let people down, her dad, Jethro, when she left him in Paris, Dinozzo, her family, she was a failure and she wasn't sure if she could cope with letting down her own child. Her hand snapped down to her side, no! She wasn't pregnant, there was no baby, she refused to be in this situation. Jenny turned away from her mirror, she wasn't in this situation.

* * *

'The boss is back today'

Tony rolled his eyes, 'Thanks for stating the obvious McGoogle but believe it or not I am aware of the date and what it means'

'Yes', Ziva smiled, 'It means your reign of terror is over'

Looking wounded Tony replied, 'Hey! I was an amazing leader'

Ziva walked over to his desk and patted him on the head, 'Of course you were my little hairy butt. I think my favourite part was when that cat mauled you at the crime scene'

Tony winced slightly at the memory, he still had the scratches all the way up his arms, animals really didn't seem to like him, he tried to look as though he wasn't bothered as he shrugged, 'It didn't even hurt'

'You cried!'

'No I didn't!'

* * *

Gibbs couldn't help but smile slightly as he stepped out of the elevator into the bullpen, the last week of his honeymoon had been better than the first but still nothing special. Amazingly he had actually missed his team although he would never ever admit this to them. He laughed slightly as he got closer to his team and heard the familiar sound of Ziva and Dinozzo bickering, taking a sip of his coffee he breezed past them both and sat down at his desk, 'Why do I have the feeling that I would have been better leaving a five year old in charge'

Tony only just resisted the urge to jump up and down on the spot in frustration as he whined, 'I did a good job'

The other two Agents ignored him as McGee asked Gibbs, 'So how was the honeymoon?'

Gibbs didn't even look up at the his probationary Agent, he just started opening his mail as he answered, 'It was fine'

Tony snorted, 'If it was just fine someone wasn't doing something right', he stopped and went pale as the ramifications of what he had just implied sunk in. He stuttered at the killer glare that was coming his way, 'I didn't mean that you weren't doing what you should, I'm sure that Hollis was…..um…..I mean…..what I meant was……..I'm going to stop talking now', he trailed off lamely, ignoring his colleagues giggles.

'I think that would be for the best Dinozzo', Gibbs got up from his desk, 'I'm going to see Abby, let her know I'm back', as he walked past he made sure to smack the back of Dinozzo's head, repressing a smirk when the man whimpered slightly in pain and muttered,

'Missed you too boss'

Tony waited for the lift doors to close before he turned to his team-mates, 'He has a tan'

McGee frowned, 'Well he was in Hawaii', he raised an eyebrow at Tony, 'I hear it's quite warm there'

'Oh ha ha', Tony rolled his eyes, 'No what I meant is who goes outside enough on their honeymoon to get a tan? Sunbathing isn't the point of the exercise. Plus it didn't sound as though Gibbs had fun, did it?'

Ziva tapped her pen against the side of her cheek, 'You think it's failing already?'

'It wouldn't surprise me, the man really doesn't have a good track record with these things'

* * *

Pacing across the floor of her lab Abby wrung her hands together, where was Gibbs? He should have been here by now and she needed to talk to him. For the past week she had tried to decide what the best course of action was when it came to Jenny, she was getting worse, at least Abby thought she was, she wasn't sure. Over the past few days she had barely touched the food that she brought by at lunch, although she still sat and spoke with her and they laughed and she seemed to relax slightly but still not eating wasn't a good sign.

Also it was how she acted when she thought no one was looking, she would look sad and distracted, almost like she had during her nightmare. On Rebecca's advice she hadn't brought that up with Jenny, she hadn't asked what it had been about, or even mentioned it, she already sensed it would cause the red head to clam up and she knew she would shut her out. That was why she wanted to speak to Gibbs, he would know what to do, he always did.

The lab doors swooshed open and Gibbs strolled in, Caf Pow in hand, Abby squealed and ran at him, hugging him tightly, 'Oh Gibbs you're back, it's so good to see you', she stepped back, 'Oh and you brought me a present!', Abby grinned and swiped the caffeine drink from his hands. She supposed she should be polite and so asked him, 'So how was the honeymoon?'

She noted with interest that he glanced away at that question and rubbed the back of his neck, 'It was fine Abs. How have you been?'

'Um I've been good', Abby took a deep breath in preparation for her next sentence, 'I need to talk to you though'

Gibbs took in the young girl's anxious worried eyes and was immediately at unease, he moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, 'What is it? What's wrong?'

She looked up at him, 'It's Jenny, something's bothering her and I don't know what to do to make it better, I was wondering if you would talk to her?'

Letting his arm drop Gibbs let out a harassed sigh, 'I can tell you now that that won't be happening Abby'

'Why not?'

'She isn't going to want to talk to me'

'Yes she will', Abby gave him a sly smile, 'I'm sure she will'

'Abby it's not going to happen, also Director Sheppard is a grown woman who can deal with her own problems and I don't think she'll appreciate you getting involved'

'Gibbs! Please! Something's wrong with her'

Gibbs snapped, 'Nothing is wrong with her Abby! Apart from the fact the woman is in need of a damn good shaking and a social life she is perfectly fine and even if she wasn't it isn't my place to go running around looking after her'

The pair jumped when they heard a familiar voice float coldly through the air, 'I don't believe I ever asked you too look after me Agent Gibbs'

He wanted to groan in despair as he turned to face a furious Jen, her eyes were like ice as she stood in the doorway, her arms folded, Gibbs couldn't help but notice that she looked even paler than she had been when he left.

When neither one replied Jenny raised an eyebrow, 'Cat got your tongues? I suppose it is pretty difficult to dig yourself out of this hole'

Abby stuttered out, 'Jenny I'm sorry, I just thought that maybe Gibbs could help…'

'I don't need his or anyone else's help', Jenny turned away from the younger woman who couldn't help but notice the flash of pain that shot through the emerald eyes, 'And I certainly don't need your pity Abby', She faced Gibbs, 'Agent Gibbs what I said to you before you left still stands, now go and get on with your work!'

He placed a small reassuring kiss to Abby's forehead before brushing past Jenny, not once looking at her, and out of the lab leaving the two women alone.

Jenny's voice wavered slightly as she asked, 'So was that what the past few weeks have been about? Making sure I didn't suffer some nervous breakdown?'

'No', Abby shook her head vehemently, 'Of course not, it was just I was worried about you, you've been so distracted and I just wanted to help, I know you and Gibbs were close and I thought he might know what to do'

Letting out a slightly bitter laugh Jenny replied, 'You know I am so fed up with people giving me their opinions on what I should do with my life. I will say this one last time, I am fine, I don't need anyone's help', she turned to leave but paused slightly as she got to the door, 'And Abby as far as I'm concerned you are my employee so I only expect to see you if it's work related issue, not for any other reason', she looked back at the Goth, 'Have I made myself clear?'

Abby nodded miserably, 'Yes but Jenny please I really am sorry…'

'DON'T!', Jenny snapped, 'I do not want your apologies they don't mean anything, their just empty words just leave me alone', with that she stormed out of the room, leaving a tearful Abby standing alone in the lab.

* * *

Jenny was trying to keep the tears from falling, it didn't help when she saw Jethro standing by the elevator doors glaring at her, 'Was that necessary Jen?'

'It's Director Sheppard! And yes I will not have my personal life debated about by my employees'

She held her chin up defiantly and willed herself not to burst into to tears as he shot her a disgusted look as he asked her, 'What the hell happened to you? You used to be better than this, now you're just a machine. To be honest I'm amazed that Abby even bothered to try, you don't deserve it'

Refusing to show how much his comments had stung her she spat back, 'Oh because you're such a saint!'

Gibbs's lip curled in disdain, 'At least I don't treat the people who care about me like crap'

Jenny raised her eyebrow at him, 'Really? Then what do you call walking out on me after we spent the night together?

For a brief moment Gibbs was stunned, he had no idea what to say to her, 'Jenny I….'

'No don't', she shook her head, 'Just leave it'

He didn't answer this time he just stormed off in the opposite direction back into the lab to comfort Abby, meanwhile Jenny stepped into the lift and somehow she managed to keep her composure, not once showing the cracks that she felt were beginning to appear in her façade.


	11. Chapter 11

The next four weeks past quickly and Jenny found herself staring down the toilet every morning. At first she refused to even think about the possibility that she was pregnant, although that being said she had still given up coffee and alcohol. Anytime she reached for the stuff she was hit by an immense wave of guilt and would find herself turning quickly away from it. Eventually though Jenny faced the realization that she needed to know once and for all whether or not she was having a baby, it was the uncertainty that was tormenting her, which was how she came to find herself sitting in her doctor's office on that Monday morning.

Jenny shifted nervously in her seat as Dr Harper ran a quick eye over her test results before he looked up and smiled at her, 'Well congratulations Miss Sheppard, the home pregnancy test you took was telling the truth you are indeed expecting'

The older man looked at the shocked woman in front of him and noticed that she didn't look particularly happy with the news, in fact she was rapidly trying to blink away tears. He thought she might just be surprised by the announcement. After a moment or so of silence she managed to choke out, 'Right….so what happens next?'

'Well I'd like to do a scan to check the baby's development and see how far along you are, he gestured over to the examination table, 'If you could just jump up and raise your top and unzip your trousers and I'll go get the ultrasound machine'

He came back a few minutes later and Jenny took a sharp intake of breath as he smeared the cold jelly over her stomach and ran the probe over it. Jenny refused to look at the screen, instead she tilted her head back and squeezed her eyes shut. This couldn't be happening to her, in a minute she would find out that it had all been a massive mistake, that there was no baby and she could get on with her life, forget this had ever happened. That was when the loud sound of a rapid heartbeat echoed around the room and Jenny couldn't help but open her eyes, she felt them widen in disbelief as she looked at the blurry image on screen.

She followed the doctor's finger as he pointed out bits on the screen, he was smiling lightly as he showed her her baby, 'This here is the head, then we have the spine, the arms and legs and lastly an extremely strong heartbeat', he pressed down on some buttons next to the screen, 'I would say from the size of the baby and from how developed it is that you are eight weeks pregnant', he looked at her for conformation that this was right and she just nodded weakly so he continued, 'I don't see any signs of abnormalities although at your age you may want to consider having further tests to confirm this'

Jenny didn't know what to say, she leaned forward on her elbows to get a better look, still slightly disbelieving, that was when she saw the baby shift slightly almost as though they were stretching. That was when it hit her, this was her baby, hers and Jethro's, it wasn't just some nightmare that she could wake up from. She took the bit of paper roll the doctor had given her to wipe away the remnants of the gel and nodded as she heard him tell her he was away to print her a copy of the scan.

Just five minutes later she sat in front of his desk, the sonogram picture in her hands although she couldn't bring herself to look directly at it. She could hear Dr Harper talking and she tried to force herself to listen to what he was saying,

'Looking at your bloods you are pretty anemic which is probably why you are feeling so weak and tired, to combat this I'm going to put you on some iron supplements and also give you some folic acid. I also feel it is worth you considering whether of not you want chromosomal testing done, at your age there is roughly a 1 in 30 chance that this baby could have Downs Syndrome. The test itself does carry a small risk of inducing a miscarriage so you will have to weigh up whether or not it is a risk you want to take'

He looked up at her and saw that she was looked on the verge of either passing out or bursting into tears, all the colour had drained from her face and she was breathing deeply. She finally caught his gaze and in a choked voice she forced out, 'How would I go about ending this pregnancy?'

Dr Harper sat back and examined the woman sitting in front of him, he wasn't convinced this was what she definitely wanted, he could sense the confusion almost rolling off of her in waves, 'Miss Sheppard I understand that you have had a lot to take in today and because of that I would rather you took a few days to go away and think about what you want. I don't mean to sound harsh but it is not a reversible procedure and at your age this is almost certainly your last chance, if after a few days you still feel that this is the right decision for you then I will make the necessary referral'

Jenny looked at him, she wanted to argue, afraid that if she took the time to think about what she was doing then she wouldn't be able to bring herself to go through with it. Instead she found herself nodding weakly.

The doctor gave her a comforting smile, he felt an unusual affinity to this woman, she obviously wasn't coping with the news and he felt he should at least try to help, 'I think what the best course of action for us to follow right now is for you to make an appointment for a weeks time, that way you can let me know what you want to do with regards to pre-natal testing or a termination'

'I'll do that'

'Good, in the meantime I feel you should still at the very least take the iron supplements, they might even make you feel slightly better. I'll also give you the folic acid and leave it up to you to decide whether or not you want to take it. I have a free appointment at the same time next week, is that ok for you?'

Pushing herself up from the chair Jenny picked up the bag with her prescriptions in it and found herself saying, 'That's fine, I'll see you then', before leaving the room. She shoved her medication into her over-sized bag, the scan photo was still in her hand although it was dangling from her fingertips, the image itself facing towards her so no one could see it.

As she approached her car she gave her driver a polite if a little distracted smile before slipping into the back seat, almost immediately she rolled up the window in the car, she wanted privacy, some time alone and time to think because she sure as hell wouldn't get the chance once she got to work. Taking a deep breath she steeled herself and turned the picture around so she could look at it. She traced her finger over the fuzzy outline, the heartbeat she had heard seemed to echo in her ears and her other hand fell to her stomach. It still seemed like a dream, how was she meant to look after a baby when she could barely look after herself? She let the tears fall unhindered down her cheeks, it wouldn't be fair to bring a baby into her life, she would be a horrific mother, she worked at least eighteen hours a day, couldn't make relationships work and was fixated on the mistakes of her past. She tried to tell herself that it was for the best, she couldn't have this baby, she just couldn't.

* * *

The hours seemed to pass exceedingly slowly as Jenny tried to continue on as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. She sat through a video conference with Sec Nav and a hellish meeting with the Chief of Naval Operations where he spent most of it trying to leer down her top. It was only just past two o'clock but already she wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep the rest of the week away so that this nightmare would all be over. As she wandered down one of the empty corridors that held the interrogation rooms a wave of nausea hit her and she clamping her hand over her mouth she all but ran to the nearest bathroom. In the back of her mind she was vaguely aware that it was empty, something she was infinitely grateful for as she threw herself into the cubicle and for the third time that day emptied her stomach contents, she began to wonder if she should even bother to eat anymore since she could never keep anything down. She was so distracted by how awful she felt that she didn't hear the bickering voices as two very familiar agents entered the toilets.

* * *

Ziva stormed along the corridor, Tony hot on her heels calling after her,

'Zee-vah you know I'm right'

'You had no right to pull me out of interrogation!'

'You were about to break his arm!'

'What's the problem? He would have confessed!'

Tony rolled his eyes, 'You have been here two and a half years, how do you still not get it doesn't work like that here?'

Letting out a groan of frustration Ziva spotted the ladies toilets just ahead and stormed in, her frustration grew when she saw that Tony had continued to follow her, 'This is the ladies Tony! You can't be in here!'

He grinned at her, 'I wasn't finished talking'

'You're not in charge anymore! Gibbs is back! Get that through your thick skull!'

Tony's answer was cut off by the sound of someone violently retching in one of the cubicles, the two Agents looked at each other concerned. Ziva moved towards the door which was shut but not locked and gingerly pushed it open to reveal the person she thought least likely to be in there,

'Jenny! Are you ok?'

The red head looked up, her face devoid of any colour, her legs folded underneath her, she took in Ziva's concerned face and managed a weak smile, 'I'm fine, just a bout of stomach flu', she frowned in confusion as Tony appeared in the doorway, his face also a myriad of concern, 'Agent Dinozzo why are you in the ladies?'

'I followed Ziva in here, we were talking'

'Of course you were', Jenny then turned slightly green before turning away and throwing up again, she was slightly surprised when Ziva moved behind her and pulled her hair away from her face and rubbed at her back soothingly until she was finished.

Jenny sat back and closing her eyes took a deep breath, her stomach finally seemed to have settled, she opened her eyes and squeezed Ziva's hand slightly, 'Thank you'

'It's fine, maybe you should go home though, get some rest'

'No I'll be fine', Jenny pushed herself to her feet and moved to the sink, her head was buzzing slightly and she felt a bit weak as she turned the cold tap on and whirled some of the water around her mouth before spitting it out, trying to rid herself of the aftertaste. In the mirror she could see Ziva and Tony share a worried look.

Tony stumbled over his words slightly as he said, 'Jenny I never thought I'd say this but I think Ziva's right, you should go home and rest'

Jenny tried to answer but she felt as though she'd broken out in a cold sweat, the buzzing in her ears got louder and she felt unbelievably tired.......

Tony and Ziva watched in horror as Jenny's eyes rolled backwards and her legs crumpled, Tony lunged forward and caught her around her waist pulling her into him before she hit the floor. He looped her arm around his neck and lifted her into his arms, 'I think we should take her too see Ducky'

Ziva nodded her agreement but Tony was already all but sprinting down the corridor towards the lifts and so she followed on.

* * *

Ducky looked up as the doors to Autopsy hissed open and let out a gasp as he took in the sight of Tony rushing in with an unconscious Jenny in his arms, Ziva hurrying in behind them. He rushed over as Tony laid her down on one of the tables, 'What happened?'

'Ziva and I found her throwing up in the toilets then she fainted'

Ducky gave the younger man a terse nod before turning his attention back to his patient, Jenny let out a small mumble as her eyes slowly blinked open. For a moment she looked slightly confused before she tried to sit up, the room swayed and again Tony had to steady her when he noticed that she was about to fall off the table. Ducky wrapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm and gave her a small smile,

'Welcome back to the land of the living, how are you feeling?'

'Fine', Jenny gave the three people watching a half smile, 'I just have the flu'

Ducky patted her arm, 'Yes well I just want to give you a quick check, at least so I can put all our minds at rest, I feel you gave your two Agents quite a scare'

'Honestly Ducky I'm fine. I saw the doctor earlier I'm slightly anemic that's all'

'Hmmm I can believe that, your blood pressure is also a bit low and I feel that you might be over working yourself, you would probably benefit from taking the rest of the day off'

Ziva crossed her arms, 'That's what we said'

Jenny looked at the three people who were now surrounding her, their brows furrowed, she let out a sigh, she was feeling pretty awful today so she just gave a slight nod, 'Ok I will go home, I just have a couple of things I need to organize first'

Tony jumped forward and helped her to her feet, 'I'll see you up to your office'

She shot him a grateful smile, 'Thank you Tony but honestly I can manage'

'I'd still rather make sure'

Ziva jumped in, 'I think it's a good idea that Tony goes with you as well, make sure you actually follow through on your promise', she shot Jenny a cheeky grin.

Jenny realised that this was a fight she wasn't going to win and just nodded, 'Ok then but I'm going home by myself'

Ziva laughed, 'Fair enough'

* * *

Gibbs stormed into the bullpen where Ziva was sitting on top of McGee's desk deep in conversation with the young Agent, he was annoyed to notice that Dinozzo was nowhere in sight, 'Officer David you don't get paid to gossip, get back to your own desk and get back to work and where the hell is Dinozzo?'

Knowing that Jenny wouldn't like news of her episode spread around the Agency, Ziva just told the irate lead Agent, 'Tony's with the Director'

'Why? I would have thought he would have learned his lesson after the last time'

Ziva was slightly stunned by the bitterness in Gibbs's tone and choked out, 'I think you're being a bit harsh'

Gibbs's eyes narrowed, 'I don't remember asking for your opinion'

Before Ziva could reply both Tony and the Director exited her office area and made their way down the stairs. As they approached the team Gibbs pounced, 'Dinozzo! Where have you been?'

Jenny quickly cut in, 'He was helping me with something Agent Gibbs, something which is none of your concern'

Gibbs raised his eyebrow, 'Monopolizing my Agents again? Didn't you do enough damage the last time?'

'You seem unaware of the chain of command here Agent Gibbs, both you and your Agents are answerable to me and I am therefore well within my rights to meet with them whenever I want. In fact I don't even have to justify myself to you as it has absolutely nothing to do with you', Jenny turned to Tony who was had slowly backed away from the developing argument and was now standing next to Ziva, she smiled at the pair, 'Thank you, both of you for your assistance, I'll see you both tomorrow'

Gibbs couldn't help but butt in again, 'Where are you going?'

'Home'

He just muttered under his breath and stormed away back to his desk, Jenny gave one last smile to the two Agents before heading towards the lift. Tony turned to face his boss, 'I think you were a bit hard on the Director back there'

Gibbs's head jerked up, his eyes were like slits as he glared at Tony, 'Excuse me?'

'I just think you should go a bit easier on her'

For once Gibbs was actually stuck for words so instead he just muttered, 'All of you get back to your work'

The team just looked at each other and McGee raised his eyes at his two colleagues, completely unaware of what had just taken place.

* * *

Jenny let herself into her house and headed straight upstairs to her bed, she slipped out of her suit and into sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt before crawling underneath the covers. She shifted onto her side and let her hand drift to her stomach to where her baby was, her teeth bit into her bottom lip, she was just so confused. Today had shown her that although they had been angry Tony and Ziva still cared about her. Jethro however was still furious with her, she wasn't even sure why he was so annoyed with her, after all he was the one who had walked away this time, he was the one who had married someone else and she was left alone to make the hardest decision of her life and no idea what was the best thing to do.

* * *

**Thank you all for your reviews so far :)**

**Not quite sure what the next chapter will be, I an either jump to Jenny's next appointment or you can have a Abby/Ziva conv and something from Gibbs's POV beforehand. I am perfectly happy to go with the popular vote because it won't affect the basic plot-line, I just wondered if maybe there should be a bit more character development. Let me know what you want :)**

**xxxxx**


	12. Chapter 12

Opening her fridge Abby pulled out the Caf Pow she had bought earlier and sat down at her desk, sipping at it slowly for a change. She was so bored there was nothing for her to do today, she had managed to finish everything already. So it was to her immense relief when the doors to the lab opened only seconds later and Ziva walked in, Abby jumped up grinning,

'Ziva! Thank God you're here! Please please tell me you have something for me to do?'

'That's not why I'm here Abby', the Israeli woman sighed and leaned against one of the fridges, 'It's about Jenny, I think something's wrong with her and I know that out of all of us you've been the closest to her recently and I was wondering if you knew anything?'

Abby blinked back some tears as she replied, 'Jenny's not talking to me right now'

Ziva frowned, 'Why not?'

'Because a few weeks back she overheard me telling Gibbs I thought something was hinky about the way she's been acting and she didn't take it very well'

'I can imagine', Ziva muttered before looking up at her friend, 'So what did Gibbs say?'

'He point blank refused to talk to her', Abby's eyes narrowed slightly, 'Wait a minute I thought you were still angry with Jenny, what's changed?'

Ziva shook her head, 'I don't know, it was just today Tony and I found her throwing up in one of the toilets and then she passed out'

'WHAT!! Is she ok?'

'Abby calm down she's fine, she's taken the rest of the day off though'

'Ok good, what did Gibbs say when he found out?'

'If you mean about her being ill then he doesn't know. I felt Jenny wouldn't appreciate the entire Agency knowing so we kept it quiet. Anyway it just made Tony and I realise that she's not as indestructible as she likes to make out', Ziva shrugged, 'I don't know Abby, it was like we saw the old Jenny for a minute and believe it or not I miss her, she was my friend, if I'm honest she was my first real friend. Being an assassin isn't really conductive to having very many friendships'

Abby gave a small laugh, 'No I suppose not, well I'm glad at the very least you and Tony have come to your senses, the only problem is what to do next. I thought about confronting her but I was warned against it'

'No it wouldn't be the best idea, she'll just shut herself off even more', Ziva frowned, 'Who warned you off?'

'Jenny's aunt, I had lunch with her family last month while Gibbs was away', she saw Ziva's questioning look and hurriedly added, 'It's a long story but I do know that her family is also worried and that she isn't talking to them about it either'

Ziva let her head fall back against the fridge, 'Well the only person I can see her opening up to is Gibbs but if he's already refused then I really don't know…….actually he's been acting strangely since he got back. I honestly don't think that him and Jenny are speaking right now, he was actually unbelievably rude to her earlier, Tony had to ask him to take it easy'

Abby shook her head in despair, 'I really don't know what the best thing to do is anymore'

For a moment Ziva just paused to think about the best course of action, 'I think Jenny's family's right we can't force her to open up, she has to want to talk to someone. In the meantime Tony and I will both be easing up on her'

Abby nodded her approval, 'Good, I'll go around there tonight and apologize, hopefully since it's been almost a month she'll have cooled off a bit', she bit down on her lip nervously, 'Won't she?'

'Oh Abs! Of course she'll forgive you, she's probably already regretting it but just doesn't know what to say to you'

'Ok', Abby let out the breath she didn't even realise she was holding and was just about to smile again when she remembered something, 'What about Gibbs?'

At this Ziva looked stumped, 'I honestly don't know, maybe Ducky could….'

'Tried that already, Ducky attempted to get through to him about marrying Hollis, needless to say he didn't get anywhere', Abby raised her eyes to the ceiling in despair, 'Maybe we should just focus on fixing Jenny for just now, short of going back in time we can't fix Gibbs's mistake, we'll just have to wait for the inevitable divorce'

Ziva quirked an eyebrow at the Goth, 'You never know he might make it work and him and Hollis will live happily ever after'

Abby threw her now empty Caf Pow at her friend's head, Ziva ducked so it missed her though, before waving her finger at her now laughing friend as she growled menacingly, 'Don't even joke about that'

* * *

His hands moved methodically up and down his boat sanding the wood, however Gibbs's mind was elsewhere. Since when had Tony and Ziva got over there spat with Jen? He felt as though he was missing parts of a puzzle and he didn't like it. Recently his and Jenny's 'relationship' had been like a ticking time bomb, if he was alone with her, which he hadn't been since he got married, he couldn't keep his hands off of her and if they were around others they just sniped at each other non-stop. He was slightly amazed that no one had mentioned anything, they probably thought that he wouldn't be foolish enough to get involved with his boss when he was newly married. Gibbs felt the corner of his mouths twitch in an ironic amusement, oh no he was much more foolish than that, he had got involved while he was engaged.

The sound of footsteps in the kitchen made his movements stall for a moment as he quietly prayed that Hollis wouldn't come downstairs. His marriage was a mess, he knew that for sure but didn't know how to fix it, how could you fix something that had never really been right in the first place?

Gibbs cursed himself, he should never have gotten married again not when he still loved Jenny, his hand slipped and the sander clattered to the floor as the realization hit him full on in the face, he loved her. He sank to the floor and grabbed the bottle of bourbon that he kept next to him, taking a long swig of it. Why did it have to be her? She was the most complicated woman he had ever known, she was secretive, stubborn and when she wanted to be she was completely closed off. Why couldn't he love his wife? She was so much better for him, she provided him the stability he had craved for years and stability was something a relationship with Jenny wouldn't give him, they were both too similar in the way that they were both broken and he didn't know if they could be fixed.

He leaned his head back against the frame of his boat, his marriage was failing and he could see Hollis was unhappy, although she appeared to be determined to keep trying. Gibbs had wanted to believe that if he tried hard enough then he could make it work, sadly this just wasn't the case, at the same time he couldn't bring himself to end a marriage that was only six weeks old. As for Jenny he just couldn't think about it, he had royally screwed that up as well, he had walked away this time and he was in no position to start making demands that she talk to him. For once in his life Gibbs was confused over what he should do, he had trapped Hollis in a loveless marriage and he had to decide whether or not he could salvage anything from that. Only once he knew what to do about his marriage could he decide what to do about Jenny, either way it wasn't a decision he could rush. He sighed slightly he knew Hollis wouldn't give up anytime soon and Jenny wasn't going anywhere, so at least he had some time on his hands.

* * *

**I know the chapter wasn't very long and I personally don't like it I feel it worked better in my head but the next one will be longer I promise and hopefully much better. It will also possibly bring a new character. Please review and let me know your thoughts :)**

**xxxx**


	13. Chapter 13

The week passed so quickly that if you blinked you probably would have missed it, although this would normally annoy Jenny who always felt there wasn't enough hours in the day as it was, this week she was infinitely grateful. The sooner she was out of this nightmare the better.

The day of her doctor's appointment dawned and as irony would have it the sun was shining and it was being described as one of the warmest day's the month of June had ever seen. Jenny wished it would rain, wished that the sky would turn grey and the heavens would open because it seemed so wrong that on such a perfect day she was taking the decision to end her pregnancy.

In the seven days that had just past she had thought of nothing but what to do, it constantly occupied her mind although she had never really consider the possibility of keeping this baby. How could she? She couldn't drag a baby into this world to be raised by a series of nanny's because she was always at work and even when she came home she normally continued to work into the small hours. It wasn't just her lifestyle, what if Jethro resented this child, after all it could quite easily blow apart his marriage, how would she explain that to a child? No it just wouldn't work and as much as it pained her she felt she had no other choice.

Having given her security detail the morning off Jenny drove herself to the doctor's, she didn't want them wondering why she was there again, yes they were usually discrete but she didn't want to run the risk that they mentioned it to anyone. As she drove through the streets of D.C. she thought about the events of the last week. Gibbs's team were once again talking to her, things weren't quite back to how they had once been but she was hopeful that given time things would continue to improve. Then on the night of her fainting spell Abby had turned up on her doorstep, rattling off an apology at light speed and then launching herself at her in a bone crushing hug. It had taken Jenny a few minutes to absorb what the hell had just happened although she was undeniably glad to see the younger woman. She had felt guilty about what she had said and she knew Abby hadn't deserved it but her stupid wounded pride wouldn't let her take the first step, however she wasn't going to turn Abby away and this gave her the perfect opportunity to apologize for her shoddy behavior as of late. Abby had of course shrugged it off and demanded that things go back to the way they had once been, something which Jenny had readily agreed to. To say she was relieved that her relationships with her friends and colleagues had improved would be an understatement, it left her feeling slightly less adrift.

Her relationship with Jethro however had not improved in fact it seemed to have reached a stalemate, he ignored her and she gladly returned the favour. Anytime she saw him she thought about that small blurry image that was currently hidden in her study drawer and what she was planning to do and the guilt of it threatened to swallow her whole. It was times like today that she realised that she was still alone, dependant on only herself.

* * *

Once again Jenny found herself sitting in front of Doctor Harper, she forced herself to look up and meet his gaze as he asked her, 'You're quite sure?'

She forced herself to keep her voice steady, 'Yes I'm sure, I can't have this baby'

'Well in that case I'll make the necessary appointment', he smiled gently at her, 'I won't be a moment', he patted Jenny on the shoulder on the way out and left her alone in the room.

Her eyes flickered over the medical posters in the room, although she didn't take in any of the information, she couldn't shake of the feeling she was making a mistake but at the same time she just didn't see another way forward.

The doctor kept his word and was back in the room within a couple of minutes, he sat down at the desk and looked at her, 'As I'm sure you're aware of the earlier on in the pregnancy that this is carried out the better, both medically and psychologically, with this in mind if you want I can offer you an appointment for nine o'clock tomorrow morning. I will understand though if you want to wait until next week…'

'No', Jenny interrupted, 'I've had enough of waiting, tomorrow's fine'

His eyes narrowed slightly, he still wasn't sure that the woman sitting in front of him had really thought through the enormity of her decision but she was adamant and so there was nothing he could do to change her mind. Instead he nodded, 'Very well then Miss Sheppard I will book you in for tomorrow, I would also recommend that you take the entire day off your work and don't attempt to go back straight after the procedure'

'I'll do that', Jenny stiffly got to her feet, her legs felt like lead as she walked to the door, she forced herself to turn and give the doctor one last smile, 'Thank you for all your help'

'Not a problem my dear, it's why I'm here', he watched as she left his office and let out a sigh, he couldn't help but feel that she was going to regret her decision, it was times like these that he didn't particularly like his job.

* * *

'Oh train wreck coming this way'

Both Ziva and McGee looked up to where Tony's attention was currently being held, to see a stressed looking Hollis head towards them, she gave them a strained smile, 'Have you seen Jethro?'

The team collectively shook their heads but only McGee spoke, 'No we haven't, I think he went to get coffee though so he shouldn't be too long'

'Fine', she sat down at his desk causing Tony's eyes to widen, 'I'll wait for him'

Hollis didn't even look at the team, her eyes instead scanning the surrounding area, looking out for her husband, his team pretended to go back to work but continued to watch their bosses wife out of the corner of their eyes, all while sending each other curious looks.

Five minutes passed in an awkward silence and McGee resisted the urge to let out a sigh of relief when the elevator doors opened and Gibbs stepped out. This urge quickly disappeared though when he saw the bosses eyes narrow as he took on the sight of Hollis sitting at his desk.

'What are you doing here? We don't have a shared case'

'I know that', she stood up and went to give him a quick kiss on the lips, the team was quick to notice that Gibbs turned his head so she caught his cheek instead. Slightly perturbed Hollis shakily continued, 'I thought we could go grab some lunch.'

He brushed past her, 'I'm busy'

Tony's eyebrows shot into his hairline at that remark and even Ziva stopped pretending to be working, Hollis's mouth fell open but then she glanced at the team and obviously thought better about what she was going to say and amended herself, 'I understand that but we do need to talk and I'm quite willing to do so here if you force me too'

At this Gibbs mumbled something under his breath and pushed himself to his feet, grabbing his jacket, 'Fine then let's go'

His team watched as Gibbs and Hollis left the bullpen, noting with interest that Gibbs stormed ahead leaving his wife struggling to catch up. Tony tutted slightly, 'Such a shame'

'I know', Ziva shook her head sadly, 'It's never nice when a marriage breaks up'

'No not that, I said it would last three months, if they end it today I won't win the pool…Ouch!', Tony rubbed at his head where the notepad that Ziva had thrown smacked off of him, 'What was that for?'

She glared at him, 'You're a creep'

* * *

They had only just sat down at one of the small bistro's tables when Gibbs sighed and rubbed at his forehead, 'Hollis this isn't working'

She gave a small humourless laugh, 'I had a feeling you'd say that. It's why I wanted to talk to you, I'm not walking away from this, from us'

'Hol…'

'No just listen to me Jethro, I married you for better or for worse and I knew your track record but you are not shutting me out!', she reached across the table and grabbed his hand, 'You know you haven't even given us a shot, you said on honeymoon that you would and you haven't. This needs to stop Jethro, I didn't get married for it to end barely two months later, but for us to even have a chance you need to try'

Gibbs looked past her and out of the window, he had thought she would agree with him, agree to walk away, maybe yell at him for a while but eventually like the other's admit it was for the best. He didn't think he could end his marriage when she so obviously wanted them to try, if he wanted too he knew how to get her to walk away, he just had to tell her he didn't love her or alternatively tell her about Jenny. That would open up it's own can of worms though and he just wasn't ready to face up to what he wanted from Jenny because he knew he wouldn't get it. It was why he had avoided her over the past week, it hurt him to see her in pain and yet whenever he went near her he just seemed to add to it and so he continued to stay away.

He looked up into his wife's trusting gaze, her eyes searching his for any sign that he would grant her her wish and move forward together and he found he just didn't have it in him to deny her. He squeezed her hand slightly, 'I will try Hol but I can't promise you anything'

'I know', she shook her head sadly, 'Just don't end it, not yet'

* * *

That night Jenny didn't sleep, she finished all of her paperwork before heading up to her bed but sleep just wouldn't come, her mind refused to switch off. At one point she had considered drinking herself into an oblivion after all she wouldn't be pregnant tomorrow so it wouldn't do any damage but when she reached for the bottle she found that she still couldn't bring herself to do it. She was already ending her baby's life, how could she add to it by getting drunk?

She opened up her desk drawer and picked up the scan picture, before going back to bed. Her fingers traced lightly over the image, it ate away at her that this was all she would ever have when it came to having a family of her own, a blurry black and white photograph to show her what could have been. The tears ran silently down her face, dropping onto the picture, she couldn't do this.

The hours crawled by and the morning sun began to creep through the gaps in the curtains, the rays of light creeping across the room. Jenny lay her hand on her stomach and the photograph on the pillow next to her, she glanced over at her alarm clock and saw it was almost eight a.m. she knew she really should get up but she couldn't move, couldn't bring herself to make that final step. During the night as she had silently wept as she had realised that she just couldn't through with it, she didn't know what her next step would be but she knew that from now on she would be putting her baby first, everything else was inconsequential.

Sitting up she reached across for the phone and cancelled her appointment, then she rang the one person she had ever been able to talk freely to.

* * *

**New character in the next chapter plus things take a turn for the worse. Bit worried it's going to be OTT but too far into it to change it now**

**xxxxx**


	14. Chapter 14

After hanging up the phone Jenny decided that a hot shower was in order, try and ease out the tension in her muscles, she turned the spray on and was thoroughly annoyed to find the water was freezing cold. She threw open the cupboard in her upper hallway that hid the boiler and noted with dismay that the pilot light was off. She tried the usual tricks that would get the temperamental heater to work but to no avail, so sighing in defeat she called the emergency plumber and had to make do with a cold shower. She had just finished pulling on her clothes when the doorbell went, Jenny glanced out of the window and saw that the plumber had actually arrived as promptly as he had promised.

Running down the stairs Jenny threw open the door and shot a polite smile at the grinning man on the doorstep, he wasn't very old, maybe late twenties, he was tall with dark spiky hair. He peered past her into the hallway as he asked, 'Miss Sheppard? You called for an emergency plumber?'

'Yes that's right', Jenny showed him in and beckoned him to follow her up the stairs, 'I have absolutely no hot running water which is obviously a big inconveniance'

'I'll bet, I'll have a look and hopefully I should be able to do something about it right now'

'That would be great', Jenny then realised she had left the front door open and told him, 'I'll leave you to it', with that she headed back down the stairs.

Just as she was about to shut the door over, a car pulled into her driveway and a very familiar woman stepped out. Jenny walked down her front steps and hugged her arms around herself she waited for her friend to make her way to the house. Mellissa slammed her car door shut and pulled her dark blonde wavy hair out of her jacket collar, she smiled at Jenny, 'So what's the problem'

'I don't really fancy talking about it on my doorstep, the net curtains will be twitching already, they're not used to seeing me home at this time of the day'

Mellissa laughed as she breezed past her into the hallway, 'Well you are a complete workaholic, you can't blame them, especially since from that van sitting outside I can tell that I'm not the only one here'

'My hot water's out, the plumber's upstairs is fixing it just now', Jenny led the way into the kitchen, 'You want a tea or coffee'

'Coffee would be great, I was up most of the night helping Chris with his science project, which he had of course left until the last possible second to even start the damn thing'

Jenny smiled as she listened to Mellissa's rant about her fifteen year old son's latest exploits. She and Mellissa had been great friends ever since James had brought her home to meet everyone just over twenty years ago. Mellissa was the closest to her in age out of all her cousin's wives, she was only three years older than Jenny. When they had first met, Mel had been a newly graduated lawyer who had just started work at a prestigious law firm, after her second child though she had given up her career to focus on raising her family. Eight years and another child later Mel decided to join legal aid, she was fed up of being at home all day but felt she had left it too long to join a firm and didn't want the long hours anyway and since they didn't need the money she had decided that it was the perfect solution.

In many ways Jenny envied her friend, she was happily married with a beautiful family and she loved her work, her life was perfect and it was almost the complete opposite to hers. Despite this they had remained undeniably close over the years, each one confiding in the other when things got tough.

* * *

Sean Allen whistled under his breath as he took the opportunity to glance around the upstairs hallway, it was a nice house, full of expensive ornaments he bet they were worth quite a bit as well. He moved away from the boiler and took a quick look in each of the bedrooms, noting that there was some more stuff in every one. Part of him wondered whether or not he could lift some of this stuff and sneak it out but decided against it, she was in the house, she would know who had taken it and he was only just off of his probation, he didn't fancy going back behind bars.

Slamming the cupboard door closed he started to head down the stairs to get paid, Sean paused just out of sight of the kitchen as he heard the two woman's voices float out into the hallway,

'So why are you home today anyway?'

'Oh I took the morning off'

'I'm sorry you, Jennifer Sheppard actually took some time off! I think I need to cheek if hell just froze over'

'Oh ha ha, I'll go back this afternoon, no doubt I'll now be stuck in the office until the small hours of the morning because of it'

Sean couldn't help but smile, that was perfect, he could come back while it was dark and grab the stuff then and no one would know it was him. He moved into the kitchen doorway and the pretty red head from earlier smiled at him,

'How did you get on?'

'Good, I had to replace one of the parts but it'll work like a charm from now on'

'I should hope so from how much it cost me to get you out here on such short notice', Jenny reached over and opened her purse counting out and then handing over the agreed sum of money.

Sean smiled, 'It was a pleasure doing business with you', as he walked away he added silently in his head, more than you'll ever know.

* * *

As the front door slammed shut Mel narrowed her eyes and took a sip of her coffee before asking, 'So come on then, what was so important that you phoned me at nine in the morning and asked me to drive for an hour so we could talk? I mean don't get me wrong I'm relieved that you're finally opening up, you had us all worried for a while', Mel let out a strained laugh, 'Becca has been driving us mad, do you know how many family meetings she has forced on us to discuss your behaviour over the last few months? Let me just tell you it was far too many'

Jenny placed her cup of tea on the counter, 'I told her I was fine'

'Well no offence but it's pretty obvious that you weren't. I wanted to talk to you when you finally turned up for dinner but with everything that happened I never got the chance', Mel cocked her head to the side, 'Is this about your dad?', If she was honest Mel didn't know too much of the story surrounding Jenny's father, she had been on the scene when he shot himself and had seen how badly her friend had taken it and knew that she had joined NCIS because of it but didn't know why. Jenny and Becca kept most of the story to themselves, even James admitted he had no idea why Jenny had so suddenly decided NCIS was the career path for her.

Jenny frowned and shook her head, 'No it's not that. Mel I'm pregnant'

That had been the last thing she had been expecting to hear and Mel's mouth just about smacked off the counter in shock as she stuttered out, 'Um wow, congratulations, I…..I didn't even know you were seeing anyone'

'I'm not', Jenny raised her tear filled green eyes to meet Mel's brown ones, she whispered, 'It's all such a mess'

'Hey Jenny calm down, it can't be that bad'

'Oh no believe me it is, he hates me, we've barely spoken for the past month. At first when I found out I just didn't want to believe it, it took me almost a month to go and even have the pregnancy confirmed and this morning', Jenny took in a shaky breath, 'This morning I was meant to be having a termination'

'I take it you couldn't go through with it?'

'No I want this baby, it just took me a while to realise it. But I just don't know what to do next'

Mel drummed her fingernails off of the counter, 'You need to tell the father Jenny, he needs to step up to the plate'

'He'll hate me, even more than he already does'

'That doesn't matter, you still need to tell him'

Jenny turned to look out the window as she spoke, 'I know, I do, really. It's just I never wanted it too be like this, I can't keep going on this way, I need to make some big changes and I don't know how or eve what they are'

'Take the rest of the day off Jenny, take some time to get your head straight, you can't go into work like this and you know it. Then when you have things straight call him but do it tonight, it's only going to get harder the longer you leave it.'

'You're right', Jenny absentmindedly nodded, 'I've got the rest of the day off anyway, I may as well take advantage of it, then tonight I'll call him, ask him to come round here so we can talk'

Mel smiled encouragingly, 'You never know he might take it better than you think'

Jenny let out a small laugh, 'Oh no, believe me he will not take it well', she looked almost panicked for a moment, 'You can't tell anyone what I've just told you, especially not Becca, I mean I will do it eventually but I need to sort things out in my own head first and figure out how involved the father wants to be before I face her and her inquisition'

Mel couldn't help but laugh. 'Oh don't worry I won't feed you too the wolfs but again don't wait too long she's driving us all nuts with her worrying about you'

Rolling her eyes Jenny replied, 'I can imagine'

Getting up from the stool she was perched on Mel paused, 'That's not just it though is it? I mean when we saw you that day at dinner you couldn't have know, so what was bugging you then?'

Jenny shook her head, 'Mel I don't want to talk about it'

Knowing not too push her luck she didn't ask anything else she just smiled, 'Ok but if you change your mind just call', she leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, 'Take care and let me know how tonight goes'

'I will, I promise', Jenny watched as Mel ran back out to her car and waved as she pulled out of the driveway, she wasn't looking forward too tonight, she had a horrible feeling it was going to be one hell of a night.

* * *

**Next chapter might not be a very long one but since I've still too write it I can't say for sure.**

**Am all happy because I've finally figured out a plot-line for my re-write of tangled web :) Don't worry though I plan to finish this story first. Also happy because I have gotten the most reviews for this story than for any other I've written so please keep reviewing it's making me smile :)**

**xxxxxx**


	15. Chapter 15

For a long time she just sat staring at the phone, willing herself to summon up the courage to phone Jethro, Mel was right she couldn't hide it from him, sooner or later it would come out and it was surely better if she told him face to face. Jenny reached out and grabbed the cordless phone, heading upstairs as she dialed his mobile number, he answered quickly,

'Director Sheppard I suppose this is work related?'

'No actually it's not…', she stared at the phone in shock as the sound of the dial tone reached her ears. It was as if that sound triggered something in her, she became determined to get him to talk to her. She tried again and again, it wasn't until the fourth time that he finally picked up again, snapping,

'What!'

'I need to talk to you'

'You said it didn't have anything to do with work and you only wanted to talk to me if it was work related, so I don't see why this phone call is necessary'

Jenny rubbed at her forehead, she had to do it, she had to tell him, 'Jethro I know what I said but this is important, I really need you to come over here so we can talk……please Jethro'

All she could hear on the other side of the phone was his quiet breathing, she knew that she had stunned him, she had never asked him for anything but she was asking him now. He sighed, 'Fine I'll be round in as soon as I can'

'Thank you Jethro', he just mumbled something in reply before hanging up. Jenny took a deep breath, now she just had too make sure she didn't chicken out.

* * *

Throwing his phone onto the passenger seat Gibbs let out a low groan, he really didn't want to have to go round to see Jen, it wouldn't go well. He knew they would either end up screaming at each other or would end up in bed, in fact it was highly probable that they would manage both and he couldn't do that, he was married and however unhappy his marriage was at this moment in time it would be wrong of him to seek comfort elsewhere. Hollis had asked him to make an effort to save their marriage and he owed it to her to at the very least try.

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair, he had only agreed to go because Jenny had asked him, she had never actually asked him for something before. Normally she didn't have to, she either told him point blank what she wanted or needed, or he just knew but tonight she had sounded so desperate, almost as though she was pleading with him and he hadn't been able to deny her. Now that it was just him alone with his thoughts though he was beginning to regret it, if his relationship with Hollis was going to have any sort of a future then he had to stop going running to Jenny. Gibbs let out a sigh, he wasn't going, he couldn't, whatever was going on with her Jenny would just have to deal with it by herself.

* * *

Sean smiled to himself as he parked his car at the bottom of the street and made his way to the townhouse. He could see through the windows that there was lights on throughout the house but figured that she did that as a security measure, if she worked long hours then her house was a sitting target, lights made it look as though she was home. He slipped round the side of the house and arrived at the back door where he pulled on his black leather gloves and expertly picked the lock, letting the door swing open. He headed up the stairs first, deciding to look around before deciding what he wanted to take, first of all he walked into what was probably one of the guest rooms and began to look around.

* * *

Jenny yawned and stretched out on her bed she glanced over at the clock, she had phoned Jethro almost an hour ago, where was he? It was at that moment she could have sworn she heard someone making their way up the stairs, that was probably him just now.

She pushed herself up off the bed and straightened down her hair before heading into the darkened hallway, she frowned as she moved towards her stairs, she was just about to call out when there was a crash behind her and she swirled round and walked almost hesitantly towards the guest bedroom where the noise had emanated from. She was almost at the doorway when the plumber from earlier walked out, for a brief moment they just stared at each other. Jenny's eyes flickered to his black gloves and the rucksack over his back and she turned to run down the stairs, she had only just reached the top step when he grabbed her and whirled her round to face him. His hand tightened on her wrists, bruising her, she managed to free one hand and slapped him across the face, her nails scratching his skin. He tried to push her in the direction of the hall cupboard but she wrenched herself backwards, for a moment they struggled, both trying to gain the upper hand. Then Jenny lost her footing and she felt the grip on her wrists loosen and she let out a harsh scream as she toppled backwards before her head connected with the banister and everything went black.

* * *

He honestly hadn't expected anyone to be home, at first when he had seen her standing in the hallway he had been frozen in shock. Then she had turned to run and he realised that if she called the police he would go back to prison, he had to stop her, had to get as far away from here before they came looking for him. He knew there was a cupboard at the end of the hallway and he just wanted to shut her in there, it would give him the chance to escape. Running after her he knocked over the table in the hall, grabbing her he attempted to back her towards the cupboard but she fought him every step of the way so he tightened his grip, knowing he was bruising her fair skin. Somehow she freed one hand and managed to scratch down his face, for a few more minutes they fought, she was a lot stronger than she looked.

Then somehow she managed to lose her footing, he saw the look of panic that crossed her face and in that moment he knew how to fix his problem, he let her go and she let out a scream that would haunt him for the rest of his days as she flew backwards. He watched in horror as she rolled down the stairs before landing at the bottom. Sean moved slowly down the stairs. She lay awkwardly on her back, her legs sprawled up the stairs, the side of her face was already badly bruised and there was a gash across her forehead and her hand lay across her stomach, the other one stretched out to the side. He looked at her in horror, he hadn't meant to hurt her, he had just panicked. She wasn't moving, there was no sign of life about her, he backed slowly away from her and ran out of the back door, he was a murderer.

* * *

**Just a warning it's going to get worse. Amazingly though I am still in a good mood because I've thought of a fluffy story I can write once this is over, I feel fluff is needed lol as well as figuring out how I'm rewriting Tangled Web :) **

**Thank you for all your reviews so far.**

**xxxxx**


	16. Chapter 16

Drawing up outside Director Sheppard's townhouse at 0630 hours Stan Burley tapped his finger's off of the steering wheel of the black armored car. He sat for a few minutes frowning, usually the woman was out of the house in two seconds flat, normally while talking rapidly on her cell phone, today however there was no sign of her. Opening the door he stepped out and moved towards the house, his hand on his holster, ready to draw his weapon if necessary. He knocked on the heavy front door, there was no reply, he knelt down and peered through the letter box and his heart stopped. He could see a delicate pale arm thrown out from behind the wall that hid the staircase. Using all of his strength Stan kicked the door open and rushed in.

For a brief moment all he could do was stare at a woman who had once seemed so indestructible, she was now sprawled out on her staircase in a silk robe and nightgown, one side of her face was badly bruised and a trickle of blood had dried onto her cheek, it had obviously came from a large deep cut across her forehead. Slowly he leaned down and felt for a pulse, undeniably relieved when he found one, for a brief moment he thought she had fallen at some point during the night, then he noticed the bruising that marred her wrists, as though someone had gripped her tightly. His eyes narrowed as he took in the upended table in the upper hallway and he connected the dots, she hadn't fallen, she'd been pushed. He yanked out his cell phone out from his suit jacket pocket and called for the ambulance, he then dialed the number for NCIS to let them know what had happened. In the back of his mind Stan couldn't help but wonder how long she's lain there for, after all no one had seen or heard from her yesterday since she had booked the day off. He knelt down next to her and pushed a strand of hair out of her face, for all her faults the woman didn't deserve this.

* * *

Becca lay her head against her husband's shoulder, he took her hand in his, entwining their finger's, giving her the silent comfort she needed. She glanced around the waiting room, her three boy's and their wives' were all here, all waiting to hear what the doctor had to say. It all seemed so surreal, that someone had pushed her Jenny down her stairs, why? Why would someone do that to her? Becca tried but she just couldn't understand.

Her head jerked up as she saw the doctor who was in charge of Jenny's case walk over. Becca jumped to her feet, noting the man looked very nervous, mind you with eight extremely intimidating people glaring at him he could hardly be blamed for it. He cleared his throat awkwardly, obviously not sure whether or not he could speak freely in front of everyone. Her impatience growing Becca snapped,

'So are you going to tell us what's happening with my niece or just stand there clearing your throat?'

Thomas wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder in an attempt to placate her, she seemed to realise she had been slightly harsh and sighed, 'I'm sorry, we're just worried, we just want to know if she's ok'

The doctor gave a small smile, 'It's ok, it's a stressful time. I'm afraid though that I don't have the best of news for you. Jennifer's condition is serious although for the time being she is stable. We are most concerned about her head injury, her head CT and MRI have both shown a mild swelling on her brain which is causing her to remain unconscious, we also found a small sub cranial hemorrhage. In some cases we would operate but because of the location of the bleed we feel it would be better to give Jennifer's body a chance to try and reabsorb the blood, we would really only resort to surgery if her condition deteriorates and the bleeding increases, we'll be keeping a close eye on her. Apart from that she is suffering from some bruising to her ribs, we called down the obstetrician who did an ultrasound and miraculously the baby is in perfect health'

Becca frowned, 'What baby?'

The doctor faltered, 'Your niece is nine weeks pregnant, it was in her notes, I'm sorry I assumed you knew'

'She can't be', Becca looked at the doctor bewildered, 'She isn't even seeing anyone and anyway she would have told us, if she didn't tell me then at the very least she would have told Mel'

At the sound of her name the woman in question spoke up, 'Actually Becca she did tell me', she visibly winced as the group swirled to look at her, the doctor was awkwardly hanging around not sure what to do.

Becca spluttered out, 'When? And why the hell didn't you tell us!', her voice began to rise hysterically, 'You knew we have been worried sick about her!'

Mel wrapped her arms around herself, 'She only told me yesterday, she was planning on telling the father last night and she asked me not to mention it until she had spoken to him'

'I don't believe this!', Becca turned her attention back to the doctor, 'Will they both be ok?'

'At this moment in time as long as Jennifer's condition remains stable the baby should be fine, unfortunately Jennifer is in a coma and we don't know when or indeed if she'll wake up, it's going to be a game of chance I'm afraid, with these type of head injuries we can't guess what is going to happen next or if there will be any lasting damage if she does wake up, I really am very sorry, I wish I had better news'

Becca nodded her head and choked out, 'Right', she turned to head towards the door and Thomas reached out and grabbed her arm,

'Becca where are you going?'

'Jenny's house, I want to get her some of her own things and I need…..I need to get some air', she looked up at her husband pleadingly, 'Will you please sit with her, make sure she's not alone'

'Of course I will'

'I won't be long', with that she turned and walked of of the hospital, breathing deeply.

* * *

Gibbs walked slowly into Jenny's house, he still couldn't believe this had happened. He felt unbelievably guilty, he should have been here last night, he could have stopped whoever had pushed her or at least gotten her medical help a lot quicker. Instead he had ignored her, choosing to go for a walk to clear his head. He watched on as the FBI took photo's of the bottom of the stairs, the small marks of blood on the floor. At first he had tried to demand that Assistant Director Vance hand the case over to his team, he needed to catch this guy, Vance had refused, saying that it was better if this case was handled by an outside Agency, that they would be able to keep their personal feelings out of it. He had at the very least agreed to give Fornell's team the case though.

Gibbs walked over to where his team were standing, overseeing the proceedings, making sure that nothing was missed.

Fornell noticed his friend's arrival and headed over, 'Jethro'

'What have you got so far?'

'I'm fine thanks', he took in the man's glare and decided it would be safer to continue, 'Not a lot, no signs of forced entry and apart from the bruising on the Director's wrists and the signs of a struggle we have no evidence. We're just about finished here and then we'll head over to the hospital'

'Any news on how she is?'

'All we know is that she's stable but still unconscious, you not going to see her?'

Gibbs shook his head, he felt too guilty to go near her, he felt as though he could have stopped this, 'No, right now I just want the Bastard caught'

'Fair enough, well that's us done, I'll see you later', Fornell nodded at Gibbs team and gestured at his own Agent's to leave. On the way out he passed by a harried looking Rebecca, she rushed into the room and stopped slightly startled when she saw the four stranger's standing in her nieces hallway,

'Are you the Agents investigating Jennifer's attack?'

It was Gibbs who answered, 'No, the FBI has taken over the case, we're NCIS, we're just making sure they don't miss anything'

'Yes but who are you?'

'I'm Agent Jethro Gibbs', he gestured at the rest of his team, 'These are Agent's McGee and Dinozzo and this is our Mossad liaison Officer Ziva David'

Becca's eyebrow quirked slightly as she looked Gibbs up and down, 'Oh you're Agent Gibbs!', she took in his confused look, 'Abby mentioned you once', she offered him her hand, 'I'm Rebecca Mason, Jennifer's aunt'

'How is she?'

Becca walked into the study and they all followed, watching as she poured herself a large scotch before sipping at it, 'She's in a coma and they're not sure she'll come out of it'. She shook her head and began to talk, it wasn't really directed at anyone it was as if she just couldn't keep in her own worries anymore.

'I should have seen this coming, I knew something was going to happen but I just thought that eventually Jenny would come to us, that she would open up', she let out a laugh, 'How could I have been so naïve? I have raised that girl since she was three years old, she is like my own daughter, I know her well enough to know she hides her feelings. You know my sister Eloise and her husband Jasper tried for six years before they had Jenny, they worshipped the ground she walked on. Then Ell was in a car accident, Jasper was away at the time as he often was, they let me see her before she went into surgery and I promised her that I would look after Jenny as though she was my own, she didn't make it out of theatre and I swore I would follow through. For years everything was fine, she spent most of her time with us apart from a few weeks here and there when her father was home', Becca smiled at the memory, 'Jenny adored her dad and he was so proud of her', her face fell, 'I still can't understand why he did it, he must have known she would be the one to find him, he must have known that it would have destroyed her'

Gibbs's gut was churning as he asked, 'What would have destroyed her?'

Becca looked up, it was almost as though she'd forgotten anyone else was in the room with her, she took another sip before continuing, 'Jasper was a Colonel, always away on business, devoted to his job. Then thirteen years ago he was accused of selling weapons to a man called Rene Benoit', she took in the look of recognition on the team's faces, 'I thought you might have heard of him. Anyway Jasper was suspended and was awaiting an enquiry, Jennifer of course refused to believe that her father would betray his country and one day she went to check on him, she got caught in traffic and arrived later than she had planned. She let herself in and walked into this very study, knowing this was where he always sat, turns out just ten minutes before she had arrived Jasper had decided to blow his brains out'

The team gasped but Becca continued regardless, 'It was ruled as a left handed suicide, although it was always slightly suspicious because of a bruise of a fingerprint on one of the pressure points on one of his hands, at one point there was a question of whether he had been about to put Benoit away and he had framed and then murdered him. This was later disregarded because of lack of proof but Jenny latched onto it, she couldn't bring herself to believe he would have done it. She then decided to join NCIS, determined that eventually she could work her way up enough to bring him down and clear Jasper's name. I could see it was destroying her, the further up the greasy pole she got the more distant and closed off she became, she became completely focused on putting him away. Then a few months ago she informed me that Rene Benoit was dead, didn't even tell me how, I thought at first that would be the end of it but she continued to get worse, I think she felt she had failed'

Gibbs didn't know what to say, suddenly everything fell into place, why Jenny had been so obsessed, he understood it, he had been there, the need to get revenge for the people you loved seemed to overrule everything else, he was so lost in his own thoughts that it took him a moment to realise that Becca was still talking.

'I should have been firmer with her, should have made her talk to me, I could see she was struggling but I just thought that she would talk to someone. I tried to talk her out of living here when she came back to D.C. I knew it wasn't good for her, the night after her father's funeral I found her here, bleaching the floor trying to get out the blood stains', Becca kicked back the rug to expose the pale staining of the wood, 'Her hands were raw, I didn't want her here I never felt she could heal if she stuck herself in the past but she just wouldn't listen'. Becca looked back at the stain for a moment and let out a deep sigh before heading to walk out of the room, 'See yourselves out please, I have a couple of things to do and I'd rather be alone'

Gibbs watched the woman head up the stairs before turning his attention back to his team, who were standing in a shocked silence, 'Come on let's go back to the Agency, see if we can find anything out'

* * *

Fornell sat with Mellissa, asking her about her conversation with Jenny, she sighed before replying,

'She planned to tell the father last night, she was going to phone him ask him to come over so they could talk. Jenny seemed convinced that he wouldn't take it very well, although she didn't say why', she gasped, 'You don't think he did this, do you?'

'I'm afraid it's a possibility, we are currently pulling her call records so we should have an I.D. soon', Fornell looked up too see Agent Langer beckoning him over, 'Sorry if you'll excuse me'

Mel's eyes followed his gaze, 'No of course not, go, I want this guy caught so do what you have to, you don't have to explain'

Giving her a curt nod Fornell made his way over to his Agent, 'This better be good'

'That depends on the definition, Director Sheppard only called one person yesterday after her sister in law left'

'The father?'

'I think so but….'

'Spit it out Langer!'

'She called Agent Gibbs, quite a few times actually, the first time he cut her off a few seconds into the conversation, the next three times he didn't answer. The last conversation took place at about 2200 hours and lasted for 2 minutes and 35 seconds, the Doctor's reckon she fell about half an hour later'

Fornell groaned, 'DAMMIT! We're going to have to bring him in'

'Boss do you think…..?'

'I don't know, I really don't know'

* * *

Gibbs sat at his desk, tapping his pen impatiently off of the desk, as the guilt started gnawing away at him again, he should have been there for Jenny, he had seen that she was hiding something and that it was destroying her but he had stood back and done nothing. Even when she had asked him to come and see him he had ignored her plea, if she didn't pull through it was on his head because he should have been there, he should have protected her but once again he had failed to protect the woman he loved. He looked up as the doors pinged open and Fornell and Langer stepped out. They walked up to his desk and much to the teams interest Fornell muttered, 'I'm really sorry about this Jethro'

For one horrible moment Gibbs thought that Jenny had died but then he noticed Vance making his way down to the bullpen, he joined the group, the team were now standing and so Gibbs did the same. Vance asked, 'Do you have to do this?'

Fornell growled, 'With the evidence we have we have no choice', he turned to Gibbs and pulled out his cuffs, 'Leroy Jethro Gibbs I am arresting you on the suspicion of the attempted murder of Director Jennifer Sheppard'

* * *

**I know they wouldn't have arrested him quite so soon but I wanted dramatic. Let me know what you thought :)**

**xxxxx**


	17. Chapter 17

McGee and Tony gathered in the viewing room attached to the interrogation room that Gibbs was currently waiting in, since Fornell had agreed to conduct the initial interview at NCIS they were able to watch. Ziva on the other hand had had to rush down to the lab to comfort a hysterical Abby.

Tony shook his head, 'This is so surreal'

McGee nodded in agreement, 'I know, why the hell do they think Gibbs pushed the Director!'

Leaning against the wall behind them Fornell pointed out, 'Look we do have reason to hold him, you think we're just doing it for the hell of it?

Gritting his teeth Tony growled out, 'We don't know since you haven't bothered to tell us what evidence you have and anyway shouldn't you be in there questioning him so we can move on and find whoever actually did this!

Fornell rolled his eyes, he knew Gibbs's team were upset so he didn't rise to the bait, 'Look this is where the evidence has led us too, I don't like it anymore than you do and the reason I'm not in there is because my Director has decided I am too closely involved. Agent Gavin Cooper will be carrying out the interrogation instead'

'Think he'll be able to deal with Gibbs?', Tony smirked slightly.

Langer laughed, 'I think so, he's almost as cheerful as Forne…..' seeing his boss's glare, he trailed off and then amended his sentence, 'As Gibbs'

Fornell's reply was cut off as the door to the interrogation opened and a small scowling bald man walked into the room and sat down at the table across from Gibbs. The viewing room fell silent as they watched the events that began to unfurl in front of them.

* * *

Gibbs knew that McGee and Tony were behind the mirror, watching him, to be honest he couldn't bring himself to care. How the hell had they came to the conclusion that he had done this to Jenny? Yes their relationship had disintegrated in the past few months but he could never ever physically hurt her. Surely they must know that! He just couldn't see how they had came to the conclusion that he pushed her, they should be out there finding the bastard who had actually done this to her.

He looked up as Agent Cooper entered the room, he had crossed paths with the man once or twice and knew he enjoyed trying to taunt a confession out of his suspects, goading them till they cracked. The man sat down I front of him and remained silent for a few minutes, flicking through some files. Gibbs had often used the silent treatment himself and normally he would be immune but while they wasted time the person who had actually attacked Jenny was out there. The minutes dragged by and finally Gibbs had to ask, 'Are you planning on actually asking me anything?'

Cooper looked up and curled his lip into what Gibbs figured was meant to be a grin, 'How was your relationship with Director Sheppard recently?'

Gibbs was slightly surprised at the question, his eyes narrowed, 'Why do you ask?'

'I just wondered, after all you two used to be partners, didn't you?'

'Yes she was an Agent on my team for about three years but that was nine years ago so I don't see how it's relevant'

Cooper gave a slight laugh, 'Sorry you misunderstood me Agent Gibbs, I meant partners in the carnal sense of the word, you were seeing each other while she worked for you', he cocked his head to one side, plastering a look of confusion on his face, 'Weren't you? And remember that it's better all round if you don't waste your time lying to me'

In the interest of getting this over quicker Gibbs decided to just answer the question, 'We had a relationship yes but it finished when she left the team'

'Really? Anything happen in the time she's been back?'

He knew he shouldn't lie but he couldn't see the harm in it, if he said yes it was going to get out and Hollis would find out and he just didn't want to hurt her so he said, 'No, it's been strictly professional'

Laughing again Cooper shook his head slightly, 'Director Sheppard phoned you last night, in fact she called you more than once, why?'

'She wanted to talk to me'

'About what?'

'She didn't say'

'She called you just over 2200 hours, is that right?'

'Yes'

'Did she ask you too meet her at the house?'

Gibbs knew where this was going and sighed slightly, 'Yes she did'

'And did you agree to meet her'

'Yes but I changed my mind and didn't' turn up'

'Where'd you go instead?'

'For a walk'

'Go with anyone?

'No'

'So no alibi then. How unfortunate, did you know that Director Sheppard was pushed down her stairs roughly half an hour after you called her. Now that would give you plenty of time to get there, get into an argument with her and push her'

'No!'

Cooper glared at him, 'Why should I believe you, after all Agent Gibbs you've already lied to me'

'What about?'

'You told me that you and Director Sheppard haven't had sex since you split up nine years ago but that's just not true is it?', he didn't wait for a reply, just plowed on, 'You know that yesterday morning Director Sheppard met with a friend a Mellissa Mason and confided in Mrs. Mason that she was pregnant, she went on to say that she was planning on telling the father last night. Now the only person she phoned last night was you, now why would that be?'

Gibbs's head was buzzing and his mouth was dry as he croaked out, 'Jenny's pregnant'

Cooper tutted, 'Now let's not pretend you didn't know. So what happened then?', he watched as Gibbs stayed silent, instead staring at the desk, 'I'll tell you what I think happened shall I? You did go round there last night and Director Sheppard told you that she was pregnant and was keeping the baby and you panicked. After all you've been married a little under two months and I don't see your wife being too forgiving that you knocked up your boss. You saw the end of your fourth marriage, yet another divorce and you got into an argument with her, you struggled and in a fit of temper you pushed her and she fell backwards down the stairs. Then you left her there, did you think she was dead already Agent Gibbs or did you just hope she wouldn't be found in time?'

'I didn't push her!', Gibbs snapped, he couldn't believe this, 'I didn't even know she was pregnant', he looked up his eyes haunted as he croaked out, 'Is the baby ok? She didn't lose it did she?'

'No. you struck out, the baby's fine'

'How far along is she?'

Smirking slightly Cooper asked, 'Don't you know? But wait a minute if you don't know the date then it must have happened more than once? Tsk tsk Agent Gibbs, you have been naughty'

Gibbs slammed his hands down on the desk, 'I didn't push her! I love her why would I hurt her!'

'I don't know you tell me', Gibbs just shook his head and so Cooper continued, 'You know what you don't need to Agent Gibbs, we found skin samples underneath Director Sheppard's nails and we have a permission from the court to take a DNA sample from you'

'Go ahead' Gibbs croaked out. He felt numb, he couldn't believe this was happening, not only was Jenny in a coma but she could've lost their baby, the baby he knew nothing about because he hadn't bothered to turn up when she had asked him to. When she had been attacked he should have been there, would have been there if he had just done the right thing and then Jenny would be ok, yes he would have one hell of a mess to fix but it was more important to him that she was healthy.

He looked up at Agent Cooper's unflinching, unsympathetic gaze, 'Please just tell me how far along she is'

'Nine weeks', Gibbs nodded, although he wasn't sure why. It had been the night in her office, the night that he had been so angry with her and then that anger had spiraled into something else.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Agent Cooper pulling on a rubber glove and waving a mouth swab at him. He opened his mouth and watched as he then screwed the vial shut and headed to walk out of the room. Just as he reached the door he turned and spat at Gibbs, 'You'll rot for this'

Gibbs didn't reply, just put his elbows onto the desk and leaned into his hands sighing deeply, that DNA would clear him physically but mentally he felt as guilty as sin.

* * *

Tony and McGee stood in stunned silence on the other side of the viewing mirror. McGee muttered under his breath, 'Bloody hell!'

'I know Probie, I know', Tony looked at his boss, the man he admired, he looked broken, for once he actually looked as though he was in shock. His blue eyes were wide in disbelief, the corners of his mouth were down turned and his hands were shaking. Tony swirled to face Fornell, who was for once in his life actually looking pretty uncomfortable, for once know one knew what to say.

* * *

**I'm all happy because I have recieved over 200 reviews for this story :) Just so you know there might not be an update tomorrow, real life has intervened and something pressing has come up, you never know though, it'll just depend. Anyway I hope you enjoyed and leave a review **

**xxxxx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Just a short chapter. Hope to have the next one up later today though.**

* * *

Fornell stormed out of the viewing room and after Agent Cooper, the man in question heard the rapid footsteps and slowed his pace so Fornell could catch up. He barely even glanced up when Fornell snapped,

'Was it necessary to be quite so brutal?'

'I treated Agent Gibbs the way I would treat any other suspect in that position'

'You treated him like he was guilty! You saw his face, he didn't know she was pregnant!'

'He has had years of experience in interrogation, you don't think he knows how to lie?'

'That's not my point, do you honestly think he's guilty?'

'I think we have to consider the very real possibility that the man panicked and in the heat of an argument lashed out. Anyway if it wasn't him then this DNA will clear him', Cooper shrugged, 'Either way the truth will come out. Now if you'll excuse me Agent Fornell I need to get this to the lab'

'Which one?'

'NCIS's, I would rather we used the FBI's but Acting Director Vane is insistent'

'Ms Scutio is one of the best'

'She's also very close to Gibbs so I've asked that one of our lab tech's supervise her running this test, I would hate for her to make a mistake out of misplaced loyalty'

Fornell shook his head as Cooper headed towards the elevators, and people thought he was a bastard.

* * *

Ziva watched as Abby paced her lab floor, the young Goth had finally stopped ranting but was now looking pretty mutinous, every so often her mouth would open as if she wanted to say something and then she would rapidly shake her head, mutter something under her breath and continue to pace. Ziva wasn't sure what to say, she had never actually seen Abby speechless before, leaning forward Ziva asked, 'Abby are you ok?'

Abby whirled around and advanced on her, and for once Ziva was actually slightly intimidated as Abby's voice went up a couple octaves, 'Am I ok?, Am I ok!', she shook her head and laughed, 'Oh I'm fine, I'm just fine. Well apart from the fact that Jenny's in a coma and Gibbs has been arrested for her attempted murder! In what world would Gibbs hurt Jenny? He just wouldn't!'

'I know that Abby and they'll clear him, this is just a mistake'

Abby's reply was cut off by Tony and McGee entering the room, she pounced on them, 'What's going on? How's Gibbs?'

Tony and McGee shared a look, neither one wanted to be the one who actually told Abby everything that had came out in interrogation. McGee subconsciously took a step back, causing Tony to glare at him, muttering under his breath, 'Thanks McScaredy-Cat', He turned back to face Abby and sighed, 'Agent Cooper's on his way down with a DNA sample for you to run against a sample he took from Gibbs'

Relief flickered across Abby's face, 'Well that will clear him then', a small smile began to bloom across her face when she noticed the frown on Ziva's face, something clawed at her, a feeling that she wasn't being told everything. She took another look at Tony who was meeting the Israeli's gaze head on at first before it eventually broke him and he looked down at his feet. Abby then looked at McGee who wasn't meeting anyone's eyes, content with shuffling nervously. Fed up Abby demanded,

'What is it? You're both hiding something'

Ziva nodded, 'Yes now cough it out'

Unable to help himself Tony corrected her, 'It's spit Ziva, spit it out'

'I do not care! Just tell us what is going on!'

Tony once again sent a glare in the direction of a silent McGee, 'Gibbs and the Director were having an affair', he took in the shock on his female counterpart's faces and decided to continue, get it over and done with in one go, 'She's pregnant and Gibbs is the father, last night she phoned Gibbs and asked him to meet her. Gibbs says he didn't turn up and had no idea about the baby but he doesn't have an alibi'

Abby just looked at him, for once silent as she tried to process what she just been told. Ziva on the other hand recovered pretty quickly, 'Well I suppose that explains the Director's recent collapse'

McGee's head snapped up, 'What collapse?', he looked around his team mates noting that no one looked shock at this piece of information, feeling put out he exclaimed, 'Wait you all knew! How come no one ever tells me anything?'

'Probie you're kind of straying off topic here, Ziva and I decided to keep it quiet because we knew she wouldn't appreciate everyone knowing!'

'Gibbs wouldn't push her', the small voice interrupted what was about to turn into an argument between Tony and McGee, Abby continued, her voice quiet for once as she tried to keep it from breaking, 'And he definitely wouldn't hurt the woman who was having his baby, the DNA sample will prove that, I know it will'

'I do hope your right Ms Scutio, although as the saying goes, Tempt not a desperate man, it may be the case that Agent Gibbs was pushed to his limit, after all this would no doubt see the end of his fourth marriage', Agent Cooper stood in the doorway, his eyes flickering over the member's of Gibbs's team in turn as he spoke, 'Although I do admire your unwavering loyalty to your boss, I sincerely hope it won't affect your judgment in this case'

Abby reached out and grabbed the DNA sample, choosing not to rise to the bait she told him, 'I can have the result in a couple of hours'

'Good', Agent Cooper nodded in the direction of a small nervous man standing behind him, 'I hope you don't mind but we have decided that since there is a small conflict of interest in this case that it is for the best if one of our lab technicians supervises the test'

Abby's eyes narrowed into slits but her voice remained calm and unwavering as she replied, 'No it's fine, it won't affect the fact that Gibbs is innocent and this test will prove it'

Cooper didn't reply, he just turned and left the lab, if he was honest he didn't care what the tests showed, he just wanted a result.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	19. Chapter 19

Gibbs sat in the interrogation room for what felt like hours, he had a feeling that no one was watching him now but he couldn't quite bring himself to care either way. The DNA test didn't worry him, after all he was innocent and the truth would come out, it always did. No it was the fact that Jenny was in a coma that she might not wake up from that really tore away at him, at first he had had to try and swallow his fears, block out everything he felt just to keep going, just to function.

Now the rug had been pulled out from under his feet again, it wasn't just Jenny who was fighting for her life, their baby was as well. It sounded strange, their baby, it was something he had never expected, to be a father again. In truth it was something he had went out of his way to avoid, when previous wives had brought up the subject he had quickly changed the subject. They tended to bring it up when the marriage was faltering, thinking a baby would bond them, get him to open up and fix the irrevocable tears in their marriage. He had always thought differently though, Kelly had been born into a loving relationship and he wouldn't have it any other way. Gibbs knew that he should be panicking right now at the thought of his ex having his baby but he just couldn't, for all that was wrong about it, him being married to another woman for one thing, the thought of Jenny having his baby made him…….happy. Well it would have if she wasn't in hospital, at that thought his gut twisted and he felt sick, if Jenny died or if she lost the baby he didn't know what he would do. He couldn't lose another child, he couldn't lose the woman he loved again and he did love her, he just hadn't realised it in time. Gibbs cursed the fact that it had taken almost losing her to realise what he wanted, what he really wanted and now he was stuck in a living nightmare, one he wanted nothing more than to wake up from.

* * *

Abby let out a squeal as the computer let out a bleep, indicating that it had completed its task, she ran over to the computer, the FBI's lab tech hot on her heels. She clapped her hands together and smiled very slightly as she saw that the DNA was not a match, turning to the man next to her she asked with a self satisfied grin, 'Do you want to phone Agent Cooper or should I?'

* * *

Slamming his phone shut Agent Cooper let out a dissatisfied groan causing Fornell to look up in interest and ask, 'Problem?'

'You'll be glad to hear that Gibbs's DNA test wasn't a match to the skin found underneath Jennifer Sheppard's fingernails, we can let him go'

'I take it I can get my investigation back then?'

Cooper leaned up against the wall, his forehead crinkled as he frowned and snapped, 'Do whatever the hell you want, Ms Scutio is running the DNA through all criminal databases to try and get a match, if this guy had previous you'll get him within the next few hours'

'That's fine', Fornell headed towards the door and had to withhold a smirk as he called back, 'I'll go and give Gibbs the good news'

* * *

The door clicked open but Gibbs didn't even look up. Fornell placed the cup of coffee in front of him and sat down across from him, sipping at his own as he told them, 'You're in the clear'

Gibbs didn't reply, he reached out for his coffee and took a long gulp before placing it back down on the table and shrugging slightly. Fornell's eyes narrowed as he asked, 'What were you thinking Gibbs?'

Finally looking up Gibbs met his friend's curious gaze, 'Anyone watching us?', he used his head to indicate at the mirror.

'No. So come on then what the hell did you think you were doing? She's your boss! You're married! I never thought you would be so stupid!'

Gibbs slammed his hands down onto the desk, 'Don't you think I know that! I know I shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have given in', He shook his head and murmured, 'I screwed it up, all of it, I was so determined to make it work with Hollis that I shut Jen out, I knew she needed me and I just ignored her. I should have been there last night, I told her I would be, if I had went she wouldn't be lying in that hospital bed right now'

'You don't know that'

'Yes I do and you know it too, he wouldn't have had the chance to do this to her', Gibbs shifted slightly in his seat, 'Do you have any leads?'

'Abby's running the DNA we found through the database. My team is taking over the case again from Agent Cooper, we'll find who's responsible'

'That I don't doubt', The two Agent's shared a very slight grin both knowing that when this guy was caught his life wouldn't be worth living and for a minute they sat in silence. A frown soon began to cross Gibbs's features again, 'Does Hollis know?'

'About your arrest? Yes, bad news travels fast, last I heard she was on her way here. She doesn't know about the affair though……although if she's a semi decent investigator then she'll be pretty suspicious, word's already out that Jenny was pregnant'

Sighing, Gibbs ran a hand over his forehead and threw his hair, 'I never meant to hurt her, I thought marrying her was the right thing to do'

'Thought the same when I was marrying Diane'

Gibbs couldn't repress the small smirk at that answer before shaking his head, 'It's not quite the same though, is it?'

'No it's not', Fornell went to stand up, he pushed his hands awkwardly into his pockets, he never was one for male bonding but he could see that Gibbs was torturing himself so he made the effort, 'It will sort itself out, it's just going to get messy for a while and you need to know what you want'

'I know what I want Tobias, I want Jenny to wake up, I want…….I want us to be a family. I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out', He looked towards the door, 'Take it I can go? I have things to do'

Fornell just nodded and the two men left the box like room in silence.

* * *

The team sat in silence as they watched their leader approach them and sit down at his desk, he looked up at them, 'Abby found anything yet?'

McGee shook his head, 'No not yet boss'

'Right', Gibbs looked distracted for a minute before he asked, 'Any news from the hospital?'

'No', it was Tony who answered this time, he took in his bosses almost defeated expression and added, 'You know boss if you want we can hold down the fort and you an go and see the Director, after all the FBI's handling her case so there isn't really a lot to do here'

Gibbs shook his head and managed a ghost of a smile, 'Thanks for the offer Dinozzo but I have to be here for a bit'

Tony frowned, 'Why?'

Any reply Gibbs might have made died on his lips when the elevator doors opened and Hollis stepped out, her face a myriad of concern as she rushed over to the team's area. Gibbs had only just stood up when she threw herself at him, for a minute she just stood hugging him before she drew back. She searched his face as she asked, 'What happened? Why did they arrest you for what happened to Director Sheppard?'

During Hollis's barrage of questions the team all slowly backed away to the large picture window, Tony muttered to his friends, 'This is going to be a train wreck and I can't look away, I want to but I just can't'

Ziva whispered under her breath, 'Stain my words, this will not end well'

'Mark Ziva, mark my words'

'You want to be picky now!'

Tony shook his head, 'No not really, not when it's show time'

'You're an ass'

Swallowing hard Gibbs looked into his wife's questioning eyes and his voice hoarse he forced out, 'Hol we need to talk, just not here'

Her eyes narrowed and her arms slipped to her sides, 'No Jethro I think this has to be done now. Why did they think you pushed her?'

He shook his head, his voice quiet so no one could hear him, 'I never meant to hurt you'

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, 'The rumours that are flying around, please tell me they're not true'

'Hol please let's go somewhere else'

'Her voice low, she hissed, 'Is it true? Is she having your baby?'

Gibbs met her eyes, he felt he had to for this, felt that he owed it to her not to look away, 'Yes, she is'

Hollis swallowed heavily, her eyes filling with tears, she slowly blinked trying to force them back, somewhere in her next question there was a small ounce of hope, 'Was it just a one night thing?'

'No', He rubbed a hand over his forehead, 'It only happened twice but I love her Hol'

She seemed to ignore his declaration and instead asked, 'When did you sleep with her?'

Gibbs shook his head, 'Knowing won't make you feel better'

Hollis continued regardless, her voice rising slightly, 'I need to know!'

'The first time was the night of the hostage situation and the second time………', He took a breath steeling himself for her reaction, 'The second time was after my Stag night'

Hollis drew back as though he had physically slapped her, the devastation on her face had been replaced by anger, when she spoke her voice was shrill and carried throughout the bullpen, although everyone had already been watching, 'You had sex with her the night before we got married! How could you do this! You bastard!!'

Gibbs had been so busy trying to calm her that he somehow didn't see her reach for his stapler, as she finished her tirade she swung it and caught him square across the temple. The shock of the blow caused him to stumble backwards slightly before steadying himself. Hollis threw her ring at him before turning and storming out of the bullpen. No one stopped her, fearing her wrath if they did. The team looked over at their boss who was clutching at his head, blood trickling down his face.

Tony couldn't help but mutter, 'Told you, train wreck'

* * *

**xxxxx**


	20. Chapter 20

Drumming her fingernails off of the metal desktop Abby gazed impatiently at the screen, watching the flickering images as her computer's tried to find a DNA match. For once in her life though she didn't actually want to be in her lab, she wanted to go and see how Jenny was, not knowing what was happening was driving her mad.

Only a few minutes ago she had snapped at Tony when he came in and told her about the argument that Gibbs and Hollis had just had up in the bullpen and how it had culminated in her smacking Gibbs with a stapler and then throwing her wedding ring at him. Abby hadn't been in the mood and had lost it, screeching at the top of her lungs and waving her arms in the air, unable to quite bring herself to believe that Tony was so childish as to gossip when Gibbs and Jenny were in despair.

Her mind had drifted away and she was so caught up in her thoughts that she jumped when the machine began emitted rapid beeps, indicating that it had found a match. Jumping up Abby studied the screen, glowering at the face of the man who had inflicted so much pain on the people she cared about.

* * *

Ducky tutted as he placed another butterfly suture across the gash in Gibbs's forehead. The man in question growled, 'Don't even say it Duck'

The older man shook his head, 'I'm not going to tell you I told you so Jethro, I will however ask you what on earth you were thinking? Why did you marry Hollis if you had been seeing Jennifer?'

'I thought I could make it work with Hollis, that was why I proposed but Jenny…..', he trailed off and looked away from his friend's inquisitive gaze and focused instead on the far away wall, 'She got under my skin, I don't even know how but I couldn't get her out of my mind and then one thing led to another….'

'Yes Jethro we all know what it led to. The question is what are you planning to do next?'

'I need to go and see Jen, I need to be with her and make sure she's ok', he swallowed heavily but still his voice was filled with pain when he spoke again, 'Most of all I need her to wake up and tell me what a bastard I am'

'And Hollis?'

'I think we both know it's over, even if I wanted to fix it I very much doubt that she would give me another chance'

Ducky stepped back after securing the last suture and stepped back to examine the wound, 'Well it won't scar, although that is the least of your problems', he narrowed his eyes slightly, 'Jethro…..if Jennifer wasn't carrying your baby would you be throwing your marriage away quite so carelessly'

Gibbs closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose, 'I know how it looks and I'll admit that it took Jenny being hurt for me to realise what I really wanted but with or without the baby it's her I want and knowing that I should never have married Hollis. Now all I can do is hope and pray that she'll wake up and that she'll forgive me'

Patting Gibbs on the shoulder Ducky murmured, 'You never make it easy on yourself, do you Jethro?'

Gibbs didn't answer, he didn't feel there was anything he could say to that. For a few moments the two old friends sat in silence, neither one sure what else there was to be said. The silence was broken by the doors swooshing open and Abby running in,

'Gibbs we found him!'

At that Gibbs jumped off the table, swaying slightly as a wave of nausea hit him but determined to push past it he barked out, 'I need an address, we can go pick him up'

Abby took in the determined set to his jaw and the pallor of his face and moved slightly closer, her hand resting supportively on his forearm, 'Fornell and Langer have went to get him, they figured that we were too closely involved'

Forcing himself to meet Abby's eyes Gibbs asked, 'Who is he, why did he do this?'

'His name's Sean Allen, he works for a plumbing company that Jenny called out to fix her hot water yesterday morning. Turns out this guy has previous for breaking and entering, Fornell thinks he cased the joint in the morning and came back later. It looks like a burglary gone wrong, they're bringing him back here for questioning'

'Right', Gibbs nodded and moved towards the door, Abby's voice halted him,

'Where are you going?'

Once again he didn't answer, just continued his slow walk to the elevator.

* * *

Shifting nervously in his seat Sean swallowed hard, his mouth felt like sandpaper. The past day had been hellish, his heart had stopped when he saw the woman from last night on the news. At first it had just been out of shock that she had survived, then guilt that he had left her lying there and then the fear had kicked in, he had had no idea she was such a public figure, knowing they wouldn't stop till they found who was responsible.

When the FBI agents had first turned up for him he had tried to run, only to be tackled to the ground seconds later. Sean picked nervously at the graze on his hands, he had only been in this claustrophobic room for ten minutes but already he was going stir crazy, he just wanted to get this over with.

It was as though someone had been listening to his thoughts and the door swung open and the man who he had earlier heard being referred to as Agent Fornell walked in and sat down across from him.

* * *

Gibbs watched the interrogation through the window, he wanted to be in there but he knew he wouldn't be able to restrain himself and would throttle this guy with his bare hands. He could sense the fear radiating off of the young man, felt his gut twist as he saw him run a hand over the scratch marks on his face, the marks that Jenny had left in an attempt to escape. Breathing heavily he braced one hand against the window, watching as Fornell began to speak,

'You fixed a boiler yesterday at the home of a Ms Jennifer Sheppard, is that right?'

'Yes'

'You have previous for breaking and entering, Ms Sheppard's home has some nice valuables, doesn't it?'

Sean brought his clasped hands to his mouth, he knew there was no point in lying, anyway he was overwelmed with the need to confess, his eyes squeezed shut as he muttered, 'I didn't mean to hurt her, she wasn't suppose to be in. I had heard her talking to a friend and she said that she would be at work. So last night I went round and picked the lock at the back door. I decided to look around first, only take the real valuables, I started upstairs. I had just come out of one of the bedrooms when I saw her, she tried to run and I knew that if she got to the phone I would go back to jail', he took a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm himself as he continued, 'All I wanted to do was buy some time to run, I was just going to shut her in a cupboard but she fought me and she was stronger than I thought she would be. She scratched me so I grabbed her wrists, then…….then she stumbled and I had a split second to decide what to do. It seemed so easy, if I let her go I would be free, so that's what I did. The look on her face when I let her go, the shock, I heard her scream and I knew I'd made the wrong decision, I tried to grab her again but I was too late. She wasn't moving and she was so pale and I saw the blood so I thought I'd killed her and I ran'

Gibbs wanted to slam his fist through the glass, wanted to this guy to hurt as much as he did right now, wanted him to understand the suffering he had caused. He let his hand drop, in the back of his mind he heard Fornell charge him but it wasn't his main priority anymore, his main priority was Jenny, he had to see her, he had put it off long enough.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	21. Chapter 21

**Short chapter I know but it had to be, you'll see why in the next chapter.**

* * *

The lighting in the hospital room was harsh and if it was possible made Jenny look even paler, she looked so small and frail in the hospital bed and the lower part of her face was covered by the respirator, the low whirring echoing throughout the room. Rebecca gingerly reached out and stroked her niece's cool cheek, watching for any sign of movement, silently praying that she would wake soon. She very briefly looked up when her husband entered the room, he walked behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently before speaking, 'They got the guy who did this to her, turns out it was burglary gone wrong, so they have of course released that Agent Gibbs'

Her free hand slipped up and entwined with her husbands as she sighed, 'I never thought that Agent Gibbs had done this anyway'

'It made sense'

She shook her head, 'No I saw him earlier at Jenny's house and he just wouldn't, he isn't the type'

'They never are. Do you think he'll come and see her?'

'He can try but he won't be getting in'

'Jenny might have wanted him here'

'I failed to protect her once, I won't do it again. When she wakes up she can over-rule that decision but until then he is not getting near her', Thomas heard the steely resolve in his wife's voice and decided not to push the subject. Instead he sat down next to her and let her head rest on his shoulder as her hand continued to hold onto Jenny's as though it was her life-line.

* * *

Gibbs's footsteps echoed as he made his way through the quiet hospital corridor. He made his way up to the nurses station and coughed impatiently when the woman didn't look up straight away. Sighing she placed her pen down before looking up and asking, 'Can I help you?'

'I'm here to see Director Jennifer Sheppard and I need to know what room she's in'

'I'll need to clear it with her family first'

The nurse went to get up from the desk before another female voice interrupted her, 'That won't be necessary', Rebecca turned her attention to Gibbs, 'Agent Gibbs you are not welcome here and I suggest that you leave', her upper lip curled slightly, 'No doubt your wife is waiting for you'

Gibbs watched slightly stunned for a second as she began to walk away, he then shook himself and darted in front of her, 'You can't stop me from seeing Jenny'

'I think you'll find I can, you have done enough damage. You should never have gotten involved with her and I won't let you give her false hope only for you to crawl back to your wife when things have improved'

Running a hand over his chin Gibbs muttered, 'My marriage is over, I love Jenny and I promise you I won't let her down this time'

Rebecca let out a hollow laugh, 'I appreciate the sentiment but you'll have to excuse the fact that I don't believe you. When Jennifer wakes up she can decide whether or not she wants to see you, until then stay away from here, you are not welcome'

'I need to see her'

Rebecca just shook her head and pushed past Gibbs, not even giving him a second glance as she walked away. For a moment he just stood in shock, he honestly hadn't expected this, he wasn't naïve enough to believe he would be welcomed with open arms but he thought that they would at the very least let him see her. Gibbs wasn't sure what to do next, he just knew he couldn't leave so he headed over to the chairs lined up along the wall and sat down, waiting.

* * *

Thomas had watched the exchange between his wife and this Jethro Gibbs and had continued to watch as the man sat down and waited patiently, refusing to give up. He shook his head slightly, he knew Rebecca was hurting after all he was just as devastated to see Jennifer like this, as far as he was concerned she was his daughter and he too felt as though he had failed to protect her.

He took a sip of the tea he had gotten from the cafeteria just a few moments ago, to say he was concerned was an understatement. This man was the baby's father and if worst came to worst and Jennifer remained in her coma then he had the right to bring up his child in the absence of Jennifer being able to express her wishes. Thomas felt that shutting him out wasn't the best idea, after all he could quite easily cut them out later on and he knew for sure that that would destroy Rebecca. The only problem was that she was unwilling to listen to reason.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	22. Chapter 22

Ten days past and Jenny remained in her coma, Rebecca remained at her bedside and Gibbs remained camped out in the waiting room. The rest of Jenny's family had become accustomed to the sight of an exhausted Gibbs slumped in a hard hospital chair, coffee in hand and all had tried to convince Rebecca to at least let him have five minutes but the woman had stubbornly refused, insisting that he wasn't getting anywhere near Jenny. At first she had allowed Abby to visit but when the woman had started to try and plead clemency for Gibbs she too found herself relegated to the waiting room As for Gibbs's team and Ducky they took it in turns to sit with Gibbs, not that he said anything to them. They just sat in an uneasy silence, waiting, and so the days dragged by as hope began to fade.

* * *

Rebecca gave a small yawn and stretched out in her seat, her eyes flittering over her nieces form before looking over at her husband who was currently asleep in the chair next to her, the days paper lying open across his stomach. He was snoring loudly, so loudly in fact that he woke himself up, jumping in his seat and staring around the room in confusion. Holding back a small laugh Rebecca told him, 'You were so loud you woke yourself up again'

Thomas rubbed at his eyes, 'Hmmm sorry'

'It's ok, it cuts through the silence, drowns out that bloody machine!'

Wrapping an arm around his wife he asked, 'Are you ok? Maybe you're spending too much time here, maybe you should go home and get some rest'

'No, I want to be here when she wakes up'

Thomas squeezed her shoulder and smiled softly, 'Ok, well I'm going to get some coffee, do you want any?'

'Yes please', she shot him a grateful smile.

As Thomas went to get up he decided to try and talk some sense into his wife, he inclined his head in the direction of the waiting area, 'You know I bet he's still out there, you've got to give the man credit for his persistence'

Rebecca averted her gaze from her husband as she replied, 'He can be as persistent as he likes, he isn't getting in here'

'Becca I don't think it's wise for us to cut him out like this'

'Why? In case Jennifer doesn't wake up and he wants custody?', she looked up at her husband who nodded slightly. Rebecca shook her head, 'I wouldn't worry about it because it won't be happening, I will fight him every step of the way. I've already spoken to Mel and James and if worst comes to worst then they'll raised the baby'

'Is it fair to cut him out like this?'

Her eyes flashed in anger as she snapped, 'There was nothing fair in the way he treated Jennifer! I am simply returning the favour. If this baby cannot be raised by their mother then they will at the very least stay with us, in a family who will love them unconditionally. Not with a man who cheated on his wife and then ignored the woman he supposedly loves calls for help'

'Her fall wasn't his fault'

Her eyes filling with tears Rebecca stood up to face her husband her voice wavering slightly as she replied, 'If he had turned up when she had asked, like he said he would be, then she wouldn't have been alone and that burglar would never have had the opportunity he got!'

'And I am sure that he is already torturing himself over that, do we need to add to it? For all you know Jennifer would want him here, with her. He's been out there for eleven days now, surely that proves he cares'

Thomas watched as his wife drew herself up to full height and knew she was about to let her anger loose, lose the self-control she had been clinging onto, but before she got the chance the sound of violent coughing filled the air. The couple whirled round too see Jenny's eyes wide open as she gasped against the tube in her throat, her hands trying to tug it away and out of her mouth.

* * *

Gibbs shuffled in his seat and glanced up at the clock, he had been here for three hours already today, he only went home when the nursing staff ordered him out and then would turn up again first thing. Not that sitting waiting was getting him anywhere, Jenny's aunt was still refusing to let him anywhere near her and it was killing him inside. He needed to see her, needed to tell her he was sorry but she was point blank refusing to give him that chance. The rest of Jenny's family had at least taken pity on him, occasionally even sitting down next to him and telling him if there had been any progress in her condition. Just yesterday Thomas had sat down next to him and handed him a coffee as he told him, 'We all make mistakes, Rebecca will come round eventually just give her time'

'No offence but that's time I could be spending with Jenny'

Thomas had just sighed softly and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder before getting up and heading back towards Jenny's hospital room.

Sighing Gibbs rubbed at his aching forehead, he should be in there at Jenny's side, not hanging around like a spare part out here. Yes he had made mistakes but so had she, neither one of them was perfect, they both had their flaws.

It was at that moment that he heard a commotion coming from the direction of Jenny's room and her doctor ran into the room. Jumping to his feet Gibbs all but ran to the room only to be stopped by the nurse, 'I'm sorry Sir but you'll have to wait outside'

His eyes darted past her trying to see what was going on but with no success, his voice hoarse he croaked out, 'Please I just need to know if she's ok'

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look as she told him, 'I'm sorry but you're not family'

Gibbs swallowed heavily and nodded, before stepping backwards slightly, letting the woman shut the door, leaving him once again standing alone in the corridor.

* * *

She tried to breathe in but she couldn't, something was blocking the air, gasping her eyes flew open, the bright light burning them. Her arms were stiff and ached slightly as she brought them up to her mouth trying to pull away whatever was at her mouth. Jenny was aware of someone pulling her hand away, was aware of someone talking to her but she couldn't focus, she needed this thing out. Suddenly a loud voice broke through the fog, 'Ms Sheppard you're in the hospital, I'm Dr Reid', he firmly drew her hands away from her mouth, 'I need you to stay calm and nod your head if you can understand me', Jenny nodded her head sharply, her eyes watering from the effort not to gag. Dr Reid continued, 'Good, now you currently have a breathing tube in, nod once more if you want it removed', Jenny nodded again and as the tube was removed she took a massive breath in before coughing madly, falling back onto the pillows behind her.

Taking a moment she looked around her surroundings, she could see Becca and Thomas gazing at her, their hands clasped, their eyes tear-filled. Jenny let her eyes flitter over to the doctor who was watching her so intently, then for a moment she was filled with a sense of impending doom as she spoke, her voice dry and broken, 'My baby……'

'Is fine', the doctor smiled at her, 'You on the other hand gave us quite the scare. Do you remember what happened?', he handed her a glass of water which she gladly accepted.

Jenny sipped at the water, frowning slightly as she cast her mind back before shaking her head, wincing when she realised that her head hurt like hell, 'No, I called Je…..someone and I heard something in the hall, I thought it was him but it was someone else……..I don't remember anything after that'

'Well I won't go into much just now but you took a tumble down your flight of stairs and you've been unconscious for the past eleven days'

She couldn't help it, her mouth fell open in shock as she spluttered out, 'Eleven days!', her hand drifted down to her stomach and she looked up again, 'My baby's really ok?'

'Yes we did a scan when you were admitted and your baby is fine, we'll do another scan soon though', he patted her hand, 'Now I recommend that you get some rest just now and I'll come back and check on you later'

Jenny watched as the medical staff left the room, she felt Becca pick up her hand and had to force herself to listen to what she was saying, 'Thank God you're ok! We thought we'd lost you for a while back there, don't you ever scare us like that again!'

Forcing a smile Jenny couldn't help the feeling of loneliness that was creeping up on her, she looked over at her aunt, not sure how much she knew and spoke slowly, 'Before I fell I phoned someone…….did they find me?'

Becca's grip on her hand tightened slightly as she answered, 'No darling they didn't, your security found you in the morning'

Jenny felt numb as she spoke again, this time it wasn't to anyone in particular, 'He didn't come, I asked him, I told him I needed him and he didn't come'

Thomas decided to speak up, 'He's been outside for the past eleven days, he wants to see you, he's been worried'

Jenny shook her head, 'No he feels guilty, there's a difference. Tell him I don't want to see him and ask him to leave'

'Jenny are you sure? The man's been distraught, if you're aunt had let him in I doubt he would have left your side'

'I'm sure his wife is thrilled by this turn of events', she held up her hand when he tried to interrupt, 'I have spent too long waiting for Jethro Gibbs to decide what he wants and I need to move on, I gave him one last chance and he blew it. As far as I'm concerned it's just me and the baby now'

* * *

Thomas sighed as he left the room a few minutes later, after her speech Jenny had quickly drifted off. The doctor's had assured them that this was to be expected and it would be at least a few weeks before her strength began to build up. Rebecca had insisted on sitting with her and this meant the task of breaking the news to Gibbs had fallen to Thomas.

Gibbs was currently sitting with his head in his hands, he looked up when he heard the approaching footsteps and Thomas noticed that the man was ashen, his eyes red rimmed as he asked, 'Is she ok?'

'She's awake'

At this Gibbs jumped to his feet, the relief on his face was obvious, 'Can I see her'

Thomas shook his head, 'I'm sorry but Jenny doesn't want to see you, she's asked that you leave'

Gibbs looked like he'd been slapped, 'But I need to see her, even if it's just for a minute I need to speak to her'

'She's upset and I'm although I don't think she's right I'm going to support her decision, I suggest that you do the same', Thomas turned to leave, he looked back once more, 'I am sorry though'

With that he left Gibbs standing there, not quite sure what to do with himself, staring down the empty void of the hospital corridor.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	23. Chapter 23

Yet another week passed and Jenny still refused to let Gibbs anywhere near her. For the first few days he continued to remain at the hospital, on the third day however Thomas once again sat down next to him,

'You're not doing yourself any favours hanging around here'

Gibbs shrugged, 'I can't leave, not before I get to see her'

'I think we both know that Jennifer is stubborn and by hanging around you're just adding fuel to the fire. She needs to calm down, needs to get her head together'

The obstinate side of Gibbs wanted to dig his heels in and refuse to go but that approach didn't seem to be working, so he figured that maybe it was time for a new approach. He nodded slightly, 'I suppose so but will you tell Jen that the minute she wants to talk to me I'll be there'

Thomas gave him a small smile, 'I'll do that. Believe me she'll come round'

Unfortunately both men had underestimated just how angry and hurt Jenny was feeling and so the rest of the week past and still Gibbs got nowhere near her hospital bed.

* * *

Jenny looked up as the door to her private room opened and smiled warmly at the man who entered, 'I'm glad you could make it'

Sec Nav leaned forward and kissed her cheek in greeting before sitting down on the chair next to her, 'Well I have to admit that I was surprised when you phoned but how could I turn you down. You're looking well Jennifer, I hear they'll be discharging you soon'

'Yes that's right, they're letting me home tomorrow'

'That's fantastic news, I'll be glad when you come back to work, don't get me wrong Vance is doing an adequate job but he doesn't quite have your flair'

Jenny's head dipped slightly, 'Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about, I want to hand in my resignation, effective immediately'

Se Nav looked shocked, he hadn't known what he had expected from this meeting but that certainly wasn't it. Being a politician he recovered his composure pretty quickly as he asked, 'Are you sure about this? You've been through a lot recently, perhaps it would be better if you took some extended leave'

'No', Jenny shook her head, 'To be honest I thought you would jump at the chance to get rid of me, after all my behaviour hasn't been very professional of late, getting involved with a married subordinate and having his baby'

'This is D.C. far worse has been swept under the carpet'

'I know but my priorities have changed lately. I don't want to work eighteen hour days and never see my child, I don't want to them to be raised by a nanny and that's what would happen if I stayed. Not to mention the added complication of Agent Gibbs. I'm sorry but I'm not going to change my mind'

'I'm sorry to hear that but I suppose I have to respect your decision, I will make the announcement today once I have spoken to Vance'

'I was wondering if I could ask you to delay the public announcement for a few days, I have a couple of things to sort and it won't affect the agency so…..'

Se Nav smiled, 'That I can do for you, I will publicly announce your intention to step down in three days time, will that be ok?'

'Perfect', Jenny smiled and shook his hand, 'Thank you Sir'

He nodded, 'It has been a pleasure working with you Jennifer and believe me you will be sorely missed', with that he left the room. Jenny fell back onto the pillows, she knew that she was making the right choice, she had to move on, had to do what was best for her and her baby.

* * *

The next day Gibbs sat at his desk, listening to the mindless chatter of his team, they had all cheered up quite considerably in the past few days, ever since they had heard that Jenny would be making a full recovery. He was well aware that all of them had been in to see her and they had all assured him that she was fine and that her recovery had been quicker than the doctors had expected. It didn't help him though, didn't make him feel any better, he had to see her, see for himself that she was ok. Not only that but they needed to talk about what they were going to do about moving forward, whether Jenny liked it or not they were a family.

Gibbs frowned as he looked up at the catwalk. Rebecca was walking along it carrying a box. He got to his feet and met her at the bottom of the stairs, 'What are you doing here?'

She gave him a quick one over before brushing past him, 'I'm collecting some of Jennifer's things'

His heart sank slightly as he asked, 'Why?'

'She asked me to', Becca walked past the teams area, noticing the fact they had all stopped working and were now watching the conversation between her and Gibbs.

'Why did she ask you to collect her things'

Becca sighed and finally turned to face Gibbs, she took a moment to examine him, she could see why her niece had fallen hard and fast for him and it wasn't just the looks either. Becca knew deep down that he was a good man who had just made a catastrophic mistake but he wasn't her priority, Jennifer was and she was going to do what her niece had asked her to do although she knew full well that sooner or later they were both going to have to sit down and talk. At first she had been unbelievably angry with the man and on some level she still was but in all honesty her niece had also made mistakes. She sighed slightly and prepared herself for his reaction, 'Jennifer resigned as the Director of NCIS yesterday, therefore her things have to be removed from her office and since she is to take things easy she asked me to pick them up'

Gibbs shook his head, 'Jenny wouldn't resign'

'Well she has'

'I need to see her'

'I'm afraid that isn't going to be possible'

'Why not? Because believe me I can get past the hospital staff'

'That isn't the issue, Jennifer was discharged from the hospital early this morning and before you go rushing round to her house you should know that she isn't there. She's put it up for sale and has left D.C. she's staying with family for the time being'

'Where?'

'I'm sorry but she's asked me not to say, she has however asked that you don't attempt to find her and that she intends to raise this baby by herself'

His voice hoarse Gibbs replied, 'She can't do this'

'Well she is', Rebecca went to walk away before remembering something, 'She did however say that if you want she'll get in touch after the birth, let you know how things went'

Gibbs nodded, unable to find the words to answer her, he saw her give him a small sympathetic smile before heading towards the elevator. Out of the corner of his eye he could make out his team, they weren't even pretending not to watch anymore. For once Gibbs didn't tell them to get back to work, he didn't say anything, he just couldn't, he felt numb.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: Ok so I want to take this chance to thank you all for your reviews, I'm sorry that I haven't replied to any of them but things have been hectic and in all honesty the only reason you've been getting updates is beause I'm desperate to finish this lol. This story only has 2 maybe 3 chapters left in it and if I can manage it it will be finished by Sunday night, so there is the possibility of multiple updates today and/tomorrow :)**

* * *

Two months quickly past and despite being asked not to Gibbs spent the first month attempting to find out where Jenny was staying and getting nowhere. It didn't help that her family had closed ranks, telling him that when Jenny wanted to speak to him she would come and find him. Although Gibbs found this nearly impossible to accept he realised that barging around demanding to know where she was wasn't helping matters and so with a heavy heart he decided to give her some time and hoped that she would get in contact. This view changed slightly when he discovered during the second month that her house had been sold but by this time he had other things occupying his mind and battling for his undivided attention.

Although Jenny and their baby were first and foremost on his mind he also had his upcoming divorce to deal with. Hollis had been true to her word and the papers filed as quickly as humanly possible, citing his adultery and unreasonable behaviour as the cause. Gibbs didn't contest it, by this point the just wanted to put his marriage behind him, regardless of this fact though he still found himself in countless meetings with his lawyer.

Gibb knew that he had been hard to deal with as of late and he was well aware of his team's attempts to either avoid or placate him, neither one was very successful. He was also aware that Jen had been in contact with Abby and had let her know that she was ok but hadn't let on where she was. They had tried to trace the phone call only to find it had been made from a cell phone outside of Jenny's previous home, needless to say she was gone by the time they got there. So he was left with no leads and just had to sit and wait, still desperately hoping she would come round.

* * *

Smiling, Jenny placed her hand over her neat bump as she watched the removal men drive away before turning back and walking into her new home. At the moment she was only renting but it was still nice to have her own space again.

For the past two months she had stayed with Mellissa and James and although it had been fun, she had felt it was time to stand back on her own two feet again. She had even been offered the chance to guest lecture at John Hopkins, an opportunity she had gladly accepted, knowing that it could lead to a more permanent offer, next fall. That type of job would be perfect, lectures ran from 9 till 3 and it was only on weekdays, along with a ton of holidays meaning she could still be a hands on mum. With the salary, her inheritance and the savings she had she could comfortably get by on her own.

Jenny made her way through the small two bedroom house, she was planning on buying a place soon but she wanted to wait until the baby was born, wait until she knew what she was doing job-wise. Almost as though they could sense she was thinking about them she received a small kick, Jenny grinned and rubbed at her stomach. She had been worried that everything that had happened early in her pregnancy would have an ill effect on her baby, thankfully the doctor's had assured her that everything was fine and now she couldn't wait to meet them.

The only fly in the ointment was the niggling feeling she got when she thought about Jethro, she hadn't spoken to him since the phone call on the night of her fall. She knew that he had tried to trace her, knew that for the first month he had hounded her aunt and uncle in an attempt to find her. Thomas had tried to convince her to speak to Jethro but she couldn't bring herself to get in touch. He had hurt her so much, she had never asked him for anything while they were together, didn't even try to dissuade him from marrying Hollis so she had thought when she did ask him he would turn up, especially when he had said he would.

Even Rebecca had said that Jethro was pretty much frantic and desperate to track her down but she wanted to move on and getting mixed up in Jethro's marriage wasn't the way to do it. That was why she had sold her house, it held too many bad memories, memories she had decided to let go. She still believed her father was innocent but she now accepted that she would never know what had really happened, she had to let go and concentrate on her future, not her past and unfortunately Jethro was part of that past.

* * *

'Boss I have a lead!'

'You going to tell us what it is or do want us to guess Dinozzo', Gibbs rolled his eyes at the previously triumphant Agent

Somewhat defeated Dinozzo replied, 'Sorry boss. It's just I found the girlfriend'

Gibbs nodded at Dinozzo to continue, they were currently investigating the case of a young marine who had been found murdered while he was on a two week leave. He had been found in a hotel room, having been smothered by a pillow and robbed. Scuttlebutt was that he had an on/off girlfriend but so far they hadn't been able to find her, it looked as though this was about to change though.

'She is a third year foreign affairs student at John Hopkins'

Gibbs opened his drawer and pulled out his Sig and his badge, 'Right then grab you gear and lets go'

His team jumped to their feet and followed on as Gibbs stormed towards the elevator.

* * *

Thanks to Gibbs's driving they arrived at John Hopkins in only forty five minutes and fifteen of those were spent in traffic, even Ziva looked slightly pale as they arrived at the university. The brakes squealed as Gibbs pulled into a car parking space, without even looking at his agent's he asked, 'Do we know where about she is?'

McGee answered, 'I managed to get the university to impart with her timetable she has a class in lecture hall 3A just now, it's only a few minutes from here'

'Right Ziva and Dinozzo go and see whether or not she's in class today, McGee you and I are heading to the registry office to find out this girl's address in case we need to get a warrant'

With that Gibbs got out of the car and slammed the door, again his team quickly followed, Dinozzo and Ziva were infinitely relieved that they had a few minutes reprieve from Gibbs's now almost constant black mood. They felt for McGee but not enough to try and save him, in fact Tony found it slightly amusing to watch the young Agent skulk behind Gibbs, looking like a puppy that had been kicked, hard.

Tony stifled a laugh, 'Poor Probie'

Ziva rolled her eyes, 'I wouldn't laugh that could have easily been one of us'

'Yeah but it wasn't'

She just shook her head as they headed towards the lecture hall, Tony grinned and opened the door, he had only just peered in when he pulled it shut again, his eyes wide, 'We have a problem'

'What! Why?', when Tony didn't answer she went to push past him, 'Oh for Gods sake this is silly', he grabbed her arm before she could open the door.

'It's the Director'

Confusion echoed in Ziva's voice as she asked, 'As in Vance?'

Tony shook his head and his tone became slightly more scathing, 'No as in Sheppard, an obviously pregnant Jennifer Sheppard is the one who is lecturing in there right now'

'I don't believe you'

'Fine', Tony moved his hand from the doorway, 'Look for yourself'

Ziva sighed and opened the door silently and peered in, before rapidly closing it again, she turned to Tony looking pale, 'Shotgun I don't have to tell Gibbs'

'Hey that's not fair! You didn't even believe she was in there'

'Yeah well I'm still not telling him', she patted Tony's chest, 'Now come on we still need to get a hold of Miss Andrews, or do you want to also have to tell Gibbs that you were too chicken to go in there and get her'

'Fine but you're coming in with me'

Ziva smirked, 'I was planning to', she pushed open the door and they both stepped inside.

* * *

Jenny was standing in front of the giant projection screen talking about the importance of foreign relations when she heard the door to the lecture theatre open. She stopped speaking and looked up, for a moment she was frozen to the spot in shock as she took in the two familiar faces making their way down the stairs. Regaining her composure she spoke clearly, her voice ringing through the hall, 'Agent Dinozzo and Officer David, it's nice to see you both again, although this is a class so if you could tell me why you felt the need to barge in I'd be eternally grateful', she quirked an eyebrow at them.

Ziva managed a smile, while Tony just looked terrified as he coughed out, 'We're um looking for a Sophie Andrews'

A small voice piped up from the back of the room, 'I'm Sophie Andrews'

Tony moved towards us, 'We're with NCIS we need to talk to you', the girl nodded and gathering her books she made her way out into the aisle. Turning Tony gave Jenny a terse smile, 'Um you're looking well Ma'am, I mean Director Sheppard, um Jenny'

'Thank you Tony, now no offence but I have a lecture to finish so…..'

Ziva grinned, and patted Tony on the shoulder, 'Come on, let's go'

Jenny grinned slightly as she watched them go, she had missed that pair and their bickering, the only problem was that she knew they would tell Gibbs, she just hoped he wouldn't barge in here and make a scene. She shook herself slightly, out of her daze, she had a class to teach.

* * *

In the end Tony and Ziva didn't speak to Sophie for very long, it turned out she hadn't seen the marine since he had been deployed six months ago and had a rock solid alibi for the murder. The girl was still understandably upset though and decided to head back to her flat. Tony and Ziva made their way back to the car just as Gibbs and McGee approached from the opposite direction. Gibbs nodded in greeting, 'Girlfriend didn't do it'

Tony and Ziva shared a look before Tony asked, 'Um yeah but how did you know?'

'Abby called, the strand of hair on the pillow next to the body has been matched to a Charlotte Julius, has previous for soliciting, so come on let's go pick her up'

Ziva looked at Tony who had turned slightly pale, they both knew they had to tell Gibbs and the sooner the better. Tony swallowed nervously, 'Actually boss I need to tell you something, the lecturer in Sophie Andrews class was Jenny'

Gibbs paused, for a moment he was starting to wonder whether or not his hearing was actually going, he looked at Dinozzo, 'What?'

'Jenny's in the hall giving the lecture'

Gibbs brushed past them, calling back, 'You lot go and pick up Miss Julius'

'How are you getting back if we take the car?'

'Let me worry about that, just go'

Tony nodded and as they went to get into the car he muttered, 'Anyone else glad we're getting out of here'

* * *

By the time he got to the lecture hall the students were pouring out, all chatting and laughing, Gibbs waited patiently at the doorway until everyone was gone before walking in. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her. She heard someone enter and turned round, her red hair was in loose curls, framing her face, her eyes gleaming. His eyes flickered down her figure, settling on the prominent bump, he felt the lump in his throat grow as he thought about the fact that his baby was in there.

Jenny gave him a small smile, 'I figured they'd tell you I was here'

Gibbs nodded before speaking, his voice hoarse, 'We need to talk Jen'

'I know', she turned and gathered up her papers, shoving them into her briefcase, she was just about to sling it over her shoulder when his hand reached out,

'I'll take it, you shouldn't be carrying stuff'

'It's not heavy'

'Doesn't matter', he glanced towards the door, 'Come on, I don't want to do this here'

'Good thing I'm finished for the day then'

He gave her a small smile, 'Yup', he went to put his hand on the small of her back to lead her out but she brushed past him, he stood startled for a minute before she turned round.

Jenny rolled her eyes slightly, 'Well come on then, let's get this over with'

* * *

**xxxxxx**


	25. Chapter 25

The drive to Jenny's house was silent, as Gibbs didn't want to distract Jenny when she was driving and both were still trying to get their heads around seeing each other again. Jenny pulled into her driveway and wordlessly got out of the car, with Gibbs quickly copying her example and following her into the house. He stayed behind her as she moved into a bright and airy kitchen, he couldn't help but smile slightly, Jenny wasn't exactly a Domestic Goddess but somehow he could picture her in here, reading the morning paper and drinking coffee, although he supposed it would be something else at this moment in time. He gestured slightly with his arm as he broke the silence, 'It's a nice place'

She gave him a small smile, 'Thanks, do you want a drink?'

'It's bit early'

Jenny laughed before replying, 'I was thinking more along the lines of juice, I have orange, apple and cola'

Gibbs wrinkled his nose in distaste, he only ever drank that stuff on rare occasions, 'Um……'

'Or tea', Gibbs's view of Jenny was now obscured by the cupboard as she rummaged around checking the contents.

He rubbed the back of his head, knowing how she felt, he wished it was slightly less awkward but there was a pretty big elephant in the room with them and he wasn't sure of the best way to broach the subject. Gibbs quickly decided just to plunge in with both feet, 'Jen I appreciate the thought but I'm not here to drink tea'

Jenny's movement stalled before she pulled back and shut the cupboard, she shot him a wry grin, 'You know I never thought things would be awkward between us but here we are, I'm playing the perfect hostess and you made a pathetic attempt at small talk', she moved closer to him, 'But you're right, that's not what you came back here for………so how have you been?'

'Pretty sure that still counts as small talk Jen'

She shook her head, 'No it doesn't, I've not seen you in two months, I have no idea what you've been doing…..well', she amended herself, smirking slightly, 'Apart from harassing my family and my estate agent'

Gibbs suddenly found the floor fascinating and stared at his feet shuffling them slightly, the day he had found out Jenny had sold her house he had stormed round to her Estate Agent's and tried to demand a contact number, he knew it hadn't been his finest moment, 'I needed to talk to you'

'Well then talk, answer the question'

'No', He took a moment to take in Jenny's shocked expression before moving closer to her, lowering his head so they were face to face, 'First of all I want to know what on earth possessed you to disappear like that'

To her credit Jenny met his stony gaze head on, the uneasy yet playful banter of a few minutes ago was now gone as she replied, 'You have got to be kidding me?', she let out a small laugh, 'What exactly do you want to know Jethro? Why I resigned? Why I left D.C.? Or why I didn't get in touch?'

'All of the above'

'Right well I resigned for two reasons. Firstly because I lost my credibility when it came out that I had been sleeping with one of my Agents and before you argue and say I didn't we both know it's not true. Yes people would forget and move on but I wouldn't, I would always know that I had broken one of the most basic rules, I couldn't respect myself for that so I don't expect others to.', She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, 'Although it was also because I don't want my baby to be raised by a series of Nanny's and grow up resenting me because I was never there for parent's nights or school plays. I know that if I had wanted to I could have juggled both but I would have screwed one of them up eventually and I didn't want that'

Jenny turned away from him for a minute and poured herself some juice, taking a sip before continuing, 'I left D.C. because I needed to get away, my family didn't want me staying on my own anyway, so it seemed like a chance to start again. Which was why I sold my house, I needed a fresh start'

Gibbs nodded, 'But why did you not get in touch Jen? Why did you shut me out?'

'Because we will never work Jethro, we are both too damaged. I don't know what happened to you Jethro but you shut yourself away. You did it when we were together in Europe and I'll bet every marriage you've had has failed because of it. When I found out you didn't bother to turn up when I actually asked you too…..', she shook her head, 'Do you know how much that hurt? Do you even care?'

'Of course I care!'

'Well you didn't show it, you walked away from me twice and then you married some bimbo and if you think for one second that I'm going to stand idly by and watch you and her play happy families with my child then you are sorely mistaken!'

'Hollis and I are getting divorced'

'Oh……', she looked up at him, the wind having been taking out of her sails and for a minute he thought he saw a flash of sympathy in her eyes, 'Because of what happened between us?'

'Officially yes, but it wasn't working from the start we were just both too stubborn to admit it. I should never have went through with the wedding, not when I knew I loved someone else', Gibbs moved closer towards her, 'I know I screwed up big-time but I love you Jenny, not being able to be with you in the hospital hurt so much and when you left I thought I was going mad, I just couldn't find you and I need you'

For a moment Jenny just looked at him, she knew he meant what he said but as much as she loved him pinning all her hopes on a happy ending on a now four time divorcee seemed insane. Especially when she considered the fact that although she had moved on from the ghosts of her past she was positive that he hadn't. She shook her head, 'I'm sorry Jethro but it's not enough'

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him, slightly surprised but relieved when she didn't resist him, instead laying her cheek against his shoulder, they stood in complete silence for a moment before her soft voice broke through it, 'I've been offered a permanent lecturing post at John Hopkins starting in the fall, I'm planning to accept it. Once the baby's born you can visit as much or as little as you like, it's only an hour away, I just think it's better that we don't kid ourselves about where this is going'

Gibbs felt as though his heart was about to shatter, he couldn't lose the women he loved again and he knew he wouldn't survive losing another child, he couldn't just watch from the side-lines, she spoke about wanting to be a proper mum, well he wanted to be a hands on dad, not one who appeared at weekends. It wasn't even just about the baby, he had spent so many days and nights just missing her presence, wishing she was near him, wanting to see her smile or hear her laugh.

She made to pull away from him but he held her fast, burying his head into her hair as he muttered, 'No I can't lose you again, I can't lose another family, please Jenny'

The desperation in his tone made her still, it stopped her from pulling away from him, although it took a moment for his words to sink in, in all honesty she wasn't really sure if he had meant to say it. As soon as the enormity of what he had said hit her though she stepped back and this time he let her go. Jenny leaned against the counter top, breathing deeply as she took him in, for once he looked utterly defeated and there was nothing but pain and anguish in his eyes.

Her heart seemed to pound in her chest as she asked, 'What do you mean another family?', When he stayed silent she pushed him for an answer, 'Jethro?'

He finally answered, his gaze meeting hers, 'I've been married five times, divorced four', he heard her sharply inhale but he was lost in memories of the past, 'I met my first wife Shannon when I was eighteen just as I was leaving to join the core, we sat next to each other on the train out of Stillwater. We had a daughter together, her name was Kelly. Shannon was smart and funny, a few of my rules actually came from her and Kelly was……..', he shook his head, 'I don't even know how to describe her, she was my little girl. I was serving in Desert storm when Shannon witnessed a drug deal being made a Mexican drug lord, NIS placed them under protection, Kelly was eight at the time. A sniper took out the driver of the car they were traveling in and the crash killed them, they were gone and there was nothing I could do, I couldn't save them, I let them down'

Jenny didn't know what to say, she just stood, her hand over her stomach, she didn't want to say she was sorry because it sounded too cliché, she didn't want to ask him why he had never told her because she could understand why he had kept it to himself. So instead she moved slowly forward and put her arms around him, he pulled her as close to him as her bump would allow, she moved her hands soothingly over his back as she heard him whisper, 'I should have told you'

She nodded, 'Probably but I was hiding things as well, we've both made mistakes'

'Jenny I never thought that I would love anyone as much as I loved Shannon, then I met you. I love you Jenny, I know I don't always show it but I will, I can change. We can make this work, we can be a family'

'Jethro……'

Gibbs knew what she was thinking, that she thought he was using this as an opportunity to replace his lost family, he tried to reassure her, 'Jen even if you weren't having this baby I would still have spent the last two months searching for you, this baby is a bonus and to be honest I wouldn't want to have another child with anyone but you'

He looked at her trying to gauge her reaction, her arms were still around him but her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth, she looked up at him, green eyes filled with confusion, 'Jethro I don't know, I love you, I really do but this is all so much. I don't know if I can just jump into a relationship. Let's face it if I wasn't pregnant then you might have tracked me down but you wouldn't be pushing so much. I know I've already had two months but I still need time, especially after everything you've just told me, I promise I won't run away again but I'm not about to rush headlong into things, if we do that things will just crumble and this time our child's going to get caught in the middle'

With that she pulled herself free of his grasp and wrapped her arms around herself, she looked down at her feet, trying to hold back tears, 'Please Jethro I need some space'

Gibbs's voice broke slightly, 'Jenny don't push me out, please we can make this work', she didn't say anything just turned her head to look out of the window, he sighed slightly and left the house.

* * *

**xxxxx**


	26. Chapter 26

**I am going to try and finish this story today and it's only really got the epilogue to go, so look out for it later if you don't want to miss it :) Thank you for all your reviews so far :)**

* * *

'I thought you said they drove off together!', Abby folded her arms and glared at McGee. The young Agent swallowed nervously as he tried to defend himself,

'They did, we waited until they drove off. They got into Jenny's car and left.......together'

'Yeah well it obviously didn't go well', Abby let out a high pitched scream of frustration, 'What went wrong! Gibbs has been miserable for the past two months, he missed her and I know she loves him. I just don't get it McGee!'

'Don't worry Abby you're not the only one who's confused'

'Humph!', the Goth then momentarily forget her rage and a look of concern crossed her face, 'How is Gibbs?'

McGee winced at the thought, 'He's even worse than before. Why do you think I'm down here'

Abby nervously bit down on her bottom lip as she sat down on her floor and slumped against her desk, 'Do you think they'll ever make up and just be happy'

His friend looked so desolate that McGee couldn't help but sit down next to her and put his arm around her, 'I don't know Abby, I hope so but I really just don't know'

* * *

Jenny was confused, she had actually never been more confused. For the past five days she had thought about nothing else but what the best course of action was and as much as she hated to admit it she needed some advice, which was how she come to find herself sitting in Rebecca's kitchen, sipping on some God awful type of fruit tea. Oh how she'd kill for some real coffee right now.

Rebecca eyed her niece over her cup, sipping at the hot liquid as she listened to the entire tale before setting the cup down on the counter, 'I have to say that it explains a lot about the man', she sighed, taking in the waves of confusion that were rolling off of Jenny, 'What is it you want me to tell you Jennifer? I can't and won't make this decision for you but whatever decision you make your uncle and I will support you whole-heartedly'

Jenny couldn't help but grin, 'I thought you didn't like him?'

'No, I was just upset and angry while you were in hospital and the easiest option was to take it out on him but in all honesty I think you've both been as bad as each other. Tell me Jennifer what exactly are you confused about? You either love him or you don't'

'I do love him'

Thoroughly exasperated Becca sighed, 'Well then what exactly is the problem?'

'Just because I love him it doesn't mean our relationship would work'

'But it gives you a reason to try. Yes you both have a past but whether you like it or not he is going to be in your future I feel he isn't the type of man to shirk his parental responsibilities. He has told you he loves you and I truly think he means it, now it's up to you to decide if the chance that you could be happy together is worth risking any potential heartbreak. Either way Jennifer life isn't going to be all roses and you can't predict the outcome'

Jenny sighed and leaned back into her chair, her aunt was right, no matter what she decided Jethro deserved the chance to be a real dad to their baby. As for their relationship it wasn't going to be easy but she knew deep down that they could be happy. Jenny pushed herself up out of the chair, 'Thanks Becca', she leaned forward and kissed her aunt on the cheek, 'Look I have some things to sort out before I do anything else', she eyed her aunt suspiciously, 'Would you really be ok with Jethro and I getting back together?'

'Yes, although I can't make any promises about how your cousins will treat him, they were nice enough at the hospital but they might just pull that protective crap if you bring him home'

Jenny laughed, 'I think he could handle it, I'll see you later'

She was just about out of the door when she heard her aunts voice call out from the kitchen, 'One last thing Jennifer. I didn't think I would ever say this but don't even think about marrying him'

Laughing as she headed out of the front door Jenny muttered, 'God I don't hate myself that much'

* * *

It had been a week since they had returned from Baltimore and Gibbs's team were now on almost constant alert, trying as much as possible to be nowhere near their leader. This was kind of ruined by the fact that they didn't have a case right now and so were stuck doing paperwork in extremely close range with the irate man. When Gibbs suddenly got up and announced he was going for coffee it took all of Dinozzo's effort not cry out in relief, he knew that likelihood was that if Gibbs lost it he would be first on the 'kill' list.

Somehow though he managed to restrain himself until the lift doors shut, hiding them from Gibbs's sight before he sat back in his chair and sighed, 'Thank God!'

Ziva managed a small grin, 'I wouldn't get too relaxed my little hairy butt, Gibbs will be back in twenty minutes or less'

'Yes Zee-vah but it is twenty minutes of freedom', Tony inhaled deeply, 'Sweet sweet freedom'

Rolling her eyes Ziva replied, 'Yes well I would keep going with that paperwork and not give Gibbs an excuse to shoot you'

Tony tried to laugh it off, 'Gibbs would never shoot me……although I suppose it wouldn't hurt to keep going'

McGee grinned across at Ziva over his own massive pile of paperwork, this smile faltered slightly though when the lift doors opened and for one horrific moment Ziva thought Gibbs had came back early. She turned and her mouth dropped open as Jenny breezed past them and sat down at Gibbs's desk. She smiled at them all as she asked, 'Where is he?'

The team shared a few bewildered looks before Tony answered, 'He um went for coffee a few minutes ago, he won't be long'

'Ok', Jenny pushed the coat off of her shoulders and made herself comfortable, 'You don't mind if I wait, do you?'

'No of course not', with that the team pretended to go back to work, although Jenny knew they were all silently watching her, she tried not to grin as she sat back into the chair.

* * *

Gibbs stood in the elevator, tapping his fingers off of his coffee cup as his impatience grew, why the hell were these things so slow! He had things to do and he hated being in such a confined space with nothing but his thoughts to keep him occupied. The main thoughts did of course revolve around Jen, it had been a week and she hadn't been in touch, he knew for a fact that she was still in Baltimore but that didn't help him right now, he wanted her here, with him. He felt like he had missed out on so much already, he wanted to force her hand but he didn't know how and he was pretty sure that whatever he tried to do it wouldn't work.

He sighed as the doors finally opened and walked towards his desk, his heart rate picked up when he saw a very familiar red head sitting in his seat, smiling at him. Knowing full well that his team were blatantly watching he kept his emotions under a tight reign gave her a small but genuine smile, 'Jenny, why are you at my desk?'

'I was in the area and thought I'd drop by. I think we need to talk

'Hmmm', he moved forward and helped her out of the seat, grabbing her bag and jacket as he led her back in the direction of the elevator, the minutes the doors closed, he hit the emergency stop button, turning to face her, just drinking in the sight of her.

She leaned against the railing, her hand straying over her bump again. Gibbs finally regained control over his tongue again, 'I take it you're here for a reason then?'

'Yeah', she nodded, 'I came to tell you I accepted a permanent lecturer's position today, I start in the fall'

Gibbs felt his face fall, 'Right, so what does that mean for us if you're going to be in Baltimore?'

Taking in the unconcealed devastation on his face Jenny knew she had made the right decision, she stepped forward and placed her hand on his forearm, 'Jethro I accepted a job at George Washington, I'm moving back to D.C.'

He looked up at her, 'What?'

'I decided that I want to give us a shot, if you still…..', she was cut off by his mouth covering hers. At first she tensed but as she felt the familiar sparks flow through her veins, she relaxed into his embrace. They stood kissing until they needed to pull away to draw breath, Jenny smiled up at him, 'You cut me off I wasn't finished yet'

Gibbs actually managed to look contrite as he muttered, 'Sorry'

Jenny raised her eyebrow, 'What I was going to say was that although I'm coming back to D.C. I still don't want to rush things, I think it will be better for both of us if we take this slowly, which is why I met with an Estate Agent today and picked up information on some rental properties'

'No', Gibbs shook his head, 'You're moving in with me'

Placing her hands on her hips Jenny asked, 'Did you actually just listen to a word I said?'

'Yes and I don't mean that we should jump into things, you can have your own room if that's what you want but I am fed up with wasting time. We have already wasted ten years Jen, and we're both to blame for that. I have already missed our baby's first scan and the first kick, I refuse to miss anything else. As much as I want you back in my bed I want you in my life even more, I want to see you everyday, know that you're there when I wake up and there when I go to sleep', He stroked a finger down her cheek, 'We can go slow but I want you with me'

Jenny raised her hand, capturing his in hers, entwining their fingers, 'I want my own room'

Gibbs smiled at her, his free hand drifting to her bump, his smile widening when he felt a small kick against his palm, 'Hell Jenny you can have the basement if you want it'

She laughed shaking her head, 'I appreciate the offer but a bedroom will be fine'

* * *

**xxxxx**


	27. Epilogue

Neither one of them expected it to be easy and so both were surprised at how quickly the pieces fell together and how much they enjoyed just being together. Jenny kept to her word though and had her own bedroom, although she could have taken over every room in the house and Gibbs wouldn't have cared, he was just happy she was there. The only slight fly in the ointment was Jenny's restlessness, she wasn't needed at the University until the next fall when the professor she was replacing retired and she wasn't a woman who found sitting around doing nothing easy.

Which was why when Gibbs came home from a three day case that had taken him out of D.C. he had found she had completely redecorated his living room, hallway, her bedroom and had moved onto the nursery. Slightly stunned he stood in the doorway, watching as she painted the room in a warm yellow, he cleared his throat to get her attention, 'I see you've been busy'

She turned to face him, paintbrush in hand, an old NCIS t-shirt straining across her seven month bump, 'Sorry I got bored, anyway this place needed brightening up, do you know how dusty that living room was, it would give your basement a run for it's money'

Gibbs laughed, 'I'm not arguing although I do think you should be taking things easy'

'If I take things much easier I am going to die of boredom', Jenny set the paintbrush down and turned to face him again, jumping when she realised he had taken the opportunity to sneak up on her. She relaxed and smiled though when he wrapped his arms around her, she turned in his arms leaning the back of her head against his chest, 'So what do you think?'

'Well I like downstairs but yellow Jen? Thought you would have went for something more gender neutral'

'Yellow is gender neutral!'

'Mmmm so if this baby's a boy you're not going to repaint it'

'Not right away'

'Yeah you might wait a week'

'Well do you have a colour in mind'

'You could just paint it white'

Jenny looked thoughtful, 'I suppose I could, I could get some stencils though and brighten it up a bit, although I like yellow, it's bright and cheerful'

'Well then keep it this colour'

'I'll think about it', she turned to face him, 'How was your case?'

'Fine, I'm glad to be back though'

'I'm glad you're back', Jenny smiled as Gibbs leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers causing her to shiver slightly. Since she had moved in they had shared several passionate kisses but had stopped it before things went any further. Jenny decided it was time for this to change, she stood up on her tiptoes and deepened the kiss, her hands threading through his hair as his hands caressed her sides. She pulled back for breath and smiled at him, 'I missed you Jethro'

He saw the familiar look of lust in her eyes and smiled, 'You sure Jen?'

'Never been surer', with that she pulled him back into her as they stumbled towards the nearest bedroom together.

* * *

Afterwards they lay in each others arms, their hands entwined over Jenny's bump, her head buried into his shoulder she quickly drifted off to sleep. Gibbs on the other hand stayed wide awake, smiling whenever he felt a hard kick against his hand, his other hand twirling a strand of Jenny's hair between his fingers. He knew just how lucky he had been, he had stood to lose it all again but instead he had the woman he loved next to him and a baby on the way. Gibbs felt Jenny stir next to him and placed a kiss to her forehead, still sure she was asleep he murmured, 'I love you Jen', he wasn't sure but he could have sworn he felt her smile against him.

* * *

Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed, unable to wipe the smile off of his face as took in the sight of an exhausted yet glowing Jen staring down at the bundle of blankets that was their daughter. From the blissful look on her face he figured that she had forgotten all about the twenty two hour long labour and the threats of torture and violence she had promised him.

Leaning over Gibbs moved the blanket slightly, his smile widening even further when their daughter yawned and snuggled closer into her mother's warmth. He placed a kiss to Jenny's forehead, 'She's perfect Jen'

'I know', she looked up at him, eyes shining, 'I can't believe she's ours'

'Well she is and she needs a name'

'How about Chloe? Chloe Sheppard Gibbs'

Gibbs smiled, 'I like it, it fits'

'Do you want to hold her?'

He didn't answer, just nodded as she handed Chloe over to him stunned into silence as another wave of love rushed over him, he still couldn't quite believe that he was a father again. Jenny leaned over and kissed him, her hand stroking over their daughter's head, Gibbs managed to pull her into his side and they sat in a comfortable silence, just enjoying their new family and looking forward to their life together.

* * *

**Well that's it finished, I hope you enjoyed the story and I want to thank you all for your reviews :) **

**I do have plans for new stories but I'm going to take a break just now, I have other things I need to do first. I don't know how long this break will be because I don't seem to be good at stopping writing even for a short time lol. Anyway if you have any questions about the story feel free to ask :)**

**xxxxx**


End file.
